I texted her to hang out, but she never got back. Should I move on?

[Anonymous]

I used text because she told me she doesn't like talking on the phone and likes texting a lot more. And pretty much all our communication is through texts. You could call us more than acquaintances.

I asked her to hang out---I gave the specific day, time, and activity. She replied saying that she might be at her friend's party that day, but she'll let me know...and asked me a question to continue the text conversation.

But she never got back to me. I waited for her text, but the two days slipped by and I got no indication from her at all and the day came and went and no text from her after that even.

So I should assume it's one of 2 things: 1. She blew me off. or 2. She forgot, in which case she's probably not worth hanging out with.

To give a little background: we knew each other from school for a couple months, we hung out once back in December, then in January I tried to get her out and she expressed mild interest then ended up not making time for me, didn't talk to her since then and only rekindled contact a few weeks ago.

Should I just move on?

[Yeahhbro]

In this case just play the baseball rules with this girl it may mean that she is really busy or something like that: Therefore do this She has three strikes at the third one, she is out. She has already wasted one strike, give her two more chances or else move on. However for every good thing that she does, like taking initiative give her one more strike, but that is if you didn't do anything for her to do that, or else it doesn't count.

[dellfavorite]

Three strikes seems a bit much. 1 chance then maybe one more to make sure, 3 and it's just awkward.

[Yeahhbro]

Some people have busy lives, are not very confident (I have seen many people that for lack of confidence actually never approaches or answer back) or are playing hard to get (which is what I think she is doing) People deserve a second chances man.

[dellfavorite]

Busy is never a good excuse, ever, never, ever. As soon as you hear this be prepared to run. playing hard to get? In this situation she's playing dead, not hard to get.

[Yeahhbro]

That was rude I admit. But that is how girls play hard to get...trust me, they don't answer messages on purpose or even ignore you on purpose even if she likes you, stupid drama but some girls do. Some people do have busy lives and forget it, maybe she had something important on her mind and maybe she didn't answer. Some people mess up and deserve a second chance. That is why the three strike rule works dead on, it gives the opportunity to the person if she messed up or is not interested

[Asker]

I gave her a couple chances in January and she never ended up making time. So wouldn't this qualify as a third strike?

[Yeahhbro]

Define a couple of chances: If it took you three times to settle a date or have genuine conversation then she is not interested

[Asker]

I asked her one time and she ended up canceling, but it was a genuine thing (she went to her aunt's house).

After that, I asked her to do another thing. She didn't give me an answer right away and waited 2 days. After those 2 days she asked me when I wanted to go. I gave her a time. She said she was "busy". I gave her two other options and told her to choose one. She waited until the next day to tell me she was busy for both.

Then all those months of no contact and then I figured I had

[Asker]

Nothing to lose, which is why I asked her again this time.

[Asker]

For her, genuine conversations aren't a problem. It's actually getting her to come out and do things.

[Yeahhbro]

Those count as three strikes dude, its time to move on. This girl is always too "busy" for you, not a good sign.

[ryanontario]

its all not good to be totally honest , I'm going to suggest that she is likely not that interested in you but maybe you could still have some sort of a chance with her . if maybe next time you suggest something more fun that whatever you offered this time , or just wait for a day when she is in a better mood and more willing to go out

[Asker]

Well, the thing I offered, I thought it was pretty fun: It was basically watching a horror movie in a club setting while drinking beer. But say that she forgot.....is there even a point in pursuing this? If she forgot, she can't be interested at all. If she didn't forget, she just blew me off without letting me know.

[Asker]

And is there a point in waiting for another day? Because on that day, she very well could be in the same mood and end up not doing it and at that point, it will seem like desperation if I keep asking her.

[ryanontario]

I don't know but maybe for some reason she wasn't comfortable with that idea or seting . maybe it came across as too serious , I don't know .

anyways I'd wait a bit and in the future not ask her out on that same day if there is some reason why she's tired then . wither school or work related reasons maybe for that day being a bad choice . I know by thursday which was end of my classes this semester I always felt pretty crappy and never felt like doing anything that night so mayeb she is same

[Asker]

Yeah, I see what you mean. What's interesting, though, is that I chose that activity because it DIDN'T seem too serious.....I mean, I don't want to ask her for coffee, we've already done that. And we've already done stuff like go to a sporting event together, so I thought that would be good for catching up.

[sterrrling]

If you really like her, don't give up. I forget things like that *all* the time. Its not because I don't like the guy, I usually do, in fact. Its just that if nobody reminds me, I won't remember anything about it.

However, if you did remind her about it or mention it in any way and she never got back to you, move on. She's not interested. Good luck though :)

[Asker]

See, I don't want to "remind" her. The reason is because it'll show I'm pushing the issue. Like I said, back in January she made some excuses, too. I don't want to be that desperate guy.

You may be saying that, but would you really forget if a guy you're interested in asked you to hang out? I just don't see how that's possible.

[mspeach]

Yep I would move on. telling a guy I hate talking on the phone and having an excuse every time they ask to hang out is an obvious hint that they aren't in to you...atleast that's how I am. I can text a guy all the time, but it doesn't mean I like them

[Asker]

Well that phone thing she told me on the first day we ever met to keep casual conversation. But I understand the excuse thing, that's how I feel.

[dellfavorite]

yes you should move on, she is not interested. She didn't forget, she just waiting for you to stop contacting her.

[Asker]

Well, the thing is, that when I re-initiated 2 weeks ago, she ALWAYS texted me back. If she just wanted me to forget, she wouldn't have responded the first time after all that time off. So I don't think she's waiting for me to stop contacting her. But I do think you're right in that she's not interested and that she didn't forget. I mean, how the heck would you forget if someone you're interested in asked you to hang out? No one forgets that.