Ex forgetting my birthday (who you are on friendly terms with) - how should I react?

Yesterday was my birthday and I had a wonderful day. However I recently got dumped about 6 weeks ago. We dated on/off for 9 months so I would figure she would remember that I had birthday in July. I have had very limited contact with this girl except to wish her happy b day in late June (no gifts...just a funny a email joke).

I still have feelings for her but I know I need to go elsewhere. I will admit I was really hoping to just get a friendly text saying "happy b day" yesterday to know she still thinks about me. Well nada.

I know most of you are going tell me "who cares", "shes just a bitch", "let it go" and you are all 100% right. However what happens if she finds out later that she missed my birthday and says "oh (so so), I'm so sorry I missed your b day"...and of course we all know she isn't sorry at all. How should I respond?

I'm thinking about responding with ":)" and nothing else. No conversation, nothing. I'm tempted to say "you know so and so considering the person you are...I'm not surprised you forgot" and then not talking to her at all no matter what she says. I don't want to act like some immature kid or a woman (sorry girls)...I know you ladies would be MUCH MORE UPSET if I guy missed a b day. It's not masculine for man to worry about b days.

Yeah I know I shouldn't be caring about this. I haven't told a soul about how disappointed I am. It is still really bothering me though.

sorry bout the typo...always make these darn it. Ex forgetting my birthday (who I am on friendly terms with) how should I react?
I'm getting some tough love below. I want to call you all a bunch of a**holes, but you are right.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Try not to have very high expectations for your exes. You guys are exes for a reason. Even if things are on friendly terms, there may be a memory connected to your birthday, a pain about remembering special moments, etc. I'm sure you don't get a birthday card and major hullabaloo from ALL your friends, right? Just put her in that category of "basic friends" who are in contact with you rather than "best friends" (which is where you seem to have classified her).

    I know it may bother you, and that's natural too! Just try not to expect too much from her. She's trying to move forward while still remaining friends with you, and that's quite a task in and of itself.


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • She COULD'VE wished you a happy bday but she DIDNT HAVE TO. The polite thing for her to do was to wish you a happy birthday but she has no obligation to do so. So far she just made herself look bad by not wishing you a happy bday even tho you wished it to her on her bday. If she texts saying she forgot, simply reply with "No worrie, thank you" or something along those lines. Or just a "thanks, I had a wonderful day" Don't reply with a smiley face, she'll just think "wtf" when she sees it.

    • Nah the idea is for me to move on. I think "thanks :)" will suffice. She has friends that are my friends so I think the word will get around.

      The guys below hit me with a 2 by 4 of hard truth. Sucks but they are right.

    • Show All
    • You need to move on and show her that you are fine and over her. Otherwise she will enjoy knowing that she is desired by someone else other than her boyfriend, and trust me you (because you are her ex) don't want to be that someone else. If she ever starts talking to you again, be friendly because she probably expects you to be angry and ignoring her. Do the opposite.

    • Well she asked to be "friends" at our break up. We met face to face. I told her NO. Friend zone is for chumps, thank you. However I when I sent her a text 2 weeks ago saying happy bday she said she missed talking to me.

      I plan on being really indifferent. Truth is I went through my own personal hell (besides this site I told only handful of people of my heartbreak). Have to stay tough. She doesn't respect me and I'm angry at a certain part of my brain that feels illogical attached.

What Guys Said 3

  • If she didn't remember, don't anticipate what to say to her. You got it right with the smiley face. If you show any emotions towards her, she will just know you still care. When she obviously doesn't care, if she didn't send you bday wishes.

  • Stop basing your happiness on other people.

  • I don't even know where to begin. First, she dumped you. Second, you didn't even date a year. Third, while dating you never celebrated your birthday. Put them all together and you get no reason why she would wish you a happy birthday.

    If she wanted to be your friend she would be, but she's not. She's moved on. She doesn't care it was your birthday and she doesn't care that you remembered hers. It's not going to suddenly show her what a sweet and caring guy you are and bring her running back.

    She's not going to send you a message saying sorry she missed your birthday so you can stop plotting your ultimate come back line. It's time to move on, she's gone.

    • You're right. Remember I'm not going around complaining about this.

      But what if she texts me later and with "sorry I forgot" what is the best way to react? Say thanks and that's it. Not respond at all?

    • Yes you are going around complaining about this:

      "Yeah I know I shouldn't be caring about this. I haven't told a soul about how disappointed I am. It is still really bothering me though. "

      She's not going to text you so you don't need to worry.

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