My ex boyfriend's new girlfriend is the opposite of me. Why do I feel so insecure now?

I can't stop comparing myself to her. She has huge boobs and no ass. I have very small breasts and big ass. I'm brunette, she's a fake blonde. I'm super skinny and tall and she's thick, she seems like she has a lot of friends she seems like she's so outgoing., I was the complete opposite I'm a nerd and an introvert.
Me and my ex where together for 2 years and on and off for another 2. We were each other's first loves. He just started dating her 4 months ago, they seem happy, they travel together, they go to parties together, they do grown up things, things him and I never did together. Why do I feel so heartbroken? Why can't I let go? How do I stop comparing what we had with what they have now? Did he ever love me? Why do I feel so broken right now. Please help :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe the fact that she is so opposite to you is quite deliberate but not for the reason that you fear. Rather than being a rejection of all that you are and were it could actually be that he doesn't want to constantly be reminded of you because that's hurtful to him. So he chooses someone who doesn't remind him of you in any way whatsoever.

    Regardless of his reasons, if you are sitting around watching what he is doing then you're not living your own life. Don't try to guess what their relationship is like because you cannot possibly know. Appearances can be very deceptive. You have no idea if they are truly happy and you have no idea if they will last. They might break up in two weeks' time.

    Just get on with your life, he's in your past now.

    • You are so right. I was stalking them online and to be honest they do seem happy. Maybe it just hurts me knowing that he moved on and I didn't. All I know is that she's so ok love with him and I don't think she'll let him go. She's so into him, and I get the feeling that he's in the kind of relationship he always wanted. I just feel so full of regrets. I feel so broken, i truly loved him. And it breaks me to know that he might marry her. They have been together for about 4 5 months now and they already say "I love you" to each other. It breaks me completely. I want to move on :(

    • Life moves on and people move on. You don't always want it to but it will continue to do so regardless. You either jump on the conveyor belt or you stand and watch the world pass you by. Time keeps moving even if your life doesn't, so get on the conveyor belt before you wake up and realise that you're 50 and you've missed out on everything.

      Yes, it's never great to know that someone you love could be happy without you but the fact that they can does not delete what you brought into their life. You made them happy once too. You won them over, they were with you. The fact that it didn't last forever is sometimes beyond your control.

      Stop beating yourself up, stop comparing yourself, stop comparing your relationship. You've already won the race, he was yours. You don't have to keep going back to the start and re-running the same race. You can now compete in new races and have new victories, which you will.

    • Your words makes me cry. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much. I'm forever greatful

Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh Hun. It's always hard to see someone we loved move on, especially if we aren't quite there yet. But her being the opposite of you doesn't nullify what you shared in anyway - he may want to have tried something different or they may have been traits he's learned to enjoy after being with her.
    That doesn't take away from what you shared, and watching them together isn't going to do anything good for you. Try to stay focussed on your own happiness instead of theirs


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What Guys Said 9

  • Try to not even give these thoughts any time of day. They will only feed off your insecurity. I kinda did the same after my 10 year relationship ended and once I started standing up for myself in my head I feel much much better.

    • Thank you. It's so hard... and it makes me insecure knowing that she is hotter. It makes me feel like he upgraded in a way and it breaks me.

    • Show All
    • Thank you.. i actually met someone two weeks ago and I like him.. maybe I'll give it q shot... he seems to like me. Maybe it's time for me to move on and give someone else my attention

    • There you go. He deserves your attention, not the ex

  • maybe he was insecure. maybe he felt he had to find someone opposite of you because he wasn't good enough to make things work with you. its a last ditch effort on his part. keep your head up and smile, you have one advantage: itll always be your sloppy seconds. lmao

  • how about you stop giving a fuck? 😂 that ship sailed long ago

  • Eh you lost out to a better girl, shit happens can't win all the time. Stop feeling insecure and go find someone who likes you, forget him.

  • nothing to help with when you're realizing that you really weren't good enough and the next girl is.

    be better. easy.

    • So are you implying that she's better than me?

    • Big Tits.
      lots of friends.
      Likes all the things he seems to like.
      more mature (grown up things)
      Seems the only thing wrong with her is she has no ass.

      So yes. That's what I'm implying.

  • truth be told. some men say that breast>ass. but I'm just the opposite. you said she's fake blond. so she's not my weakness xp. so I'm with you

  • You shouldn't be if she has no ass. That's gross

  • He liked a different type, it happens.

  • Brunette > blonde.
    Skinny > non skinny
    Smalll boobs > big
    Big ass > no ass
    Nerd > non nerd.

    I don't know how any of that's relevant just observations.


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