I gave my ex an ultimatum because seeing him hurt me too much, will he resent me for giving him an ultimatum?

[Anonymous]

I told my ex boyfriend either we're in a relationship or we can't be friends is this an ultimatum ?

My ex boyfriend wanted to still be friends after we broke up a month ago for me being fed up with his continuous disrespect to me, we slept together a couple times after we broke up and continued to say he wanted to be friends. But friends to us is doing the same things we did while we were together except no commitment. I can't do it anymore so tonight I told him if it's going to be like this then either we are together or not see or talk to each other again not until at least we get over each other. He kept telling me he wants to be friends and he still wants to see me and I said no not unless you are my boyfriend or until I don't have feelings for you anymore, I just don't want him to string me along or use me for hook ups without being tied in a relationship. Is this an ultimatum will he resent me for this? I just figure if he really loves me in due time he will come back. Did what I do wrong? Please tell me your opinions. If he really loves me will he come back?

[bababooey]

you did the right thing. what you have to do now is stick to what you said you are going to do. there can't be any breaking down and allowing him to get what he wants. you're going to miss him like crazy and try to convince yourself that you should see him and talk to him, but when and IF you do that it is going to transfer all the power back to him.

you really just need to follow through on this if its really what you want. listen...its very hard for a guy to be "friends" 9 times out of 10 guys are hanging with girls because they feel there's a chance of something more. I'm talkig about hook ups and to the guys that are into girlfriends, relationships. right now he's being friendly because you're hooking up with him. he's doing whatever he can to make sure he can still have you aroound. once you take that from him, he is going to have to figure out what he really wants. he may not come back to you right away, he may not come back to you at all. be prepared. but he will definitely try to approach you and talk to you about this. this is where you need to lay it all out for him. don't be all nice and sweet. just be firm. tell him how you feel and then tell him you have to go. if on the phone, make it short and sweet. don't be a bitch, but be assertive enough so that he knows you mean business. then you have to be prepared for the heartache. you will miss him. you will cry. all that stuff. stck to your guns. its the only way you will figure out what he wants and by all

allowing yourself space...you will figure our what YOU really want. be strong. you have to.

p.s. he might play the game like this. pretend he doesn't care and try to see how you react. don't let it get to you. trust me. he's just trying to see if you're really serious or not. show him you are.

[Anonymous]

you shouldn't care if he resents you.

you broke up after this guy was continually disrespectful to you and only recently you were hooking up without any commitment, it seems as if you have had trouble setting boundaries and establishing respect. it seems as if you are a people pleaser and want this guy to like you. that's is a problem. because you need to instead of worrying about placating him, you need to do what is best for you and stop worrying about how he would feel. if he doesn't like it, tough