Guys - why would you text your ex your new cell number after you broke up with her?

[Anonymous]

About a month after my ex broke up with me in Feb, he texts me his new cell number. He wanted to remain friends because he didn't want to "burn any bridges" and he still cared for me and said if I needed anything he would be there. Whatever. I even told him after he broke up with me that once a guy breaks up with me I'm gone, I won't stick around. He couldn't handle that so he pretty much charmed his way, and I fell for it, hook, line and sinker. When I saw his text I was trying so hard not to contact him. Like the vulnerable person I was, I said OK. Since then, we had hung out a few times, but because the physical attraction was still strong, we couldn't maintain a platonic friendship. The last time I saw him was at a cook-off 6 mos ago, and as soon as saw me, it was obvious he missed me. But after that, I never heard from him. Because I was having such a hard time with the break up, I couldn't let go. I continued to initiate contact(bad idea, I know). He would only respond at times, and other times, it was like I didn't even exist.

Why would he even give me his number if he's only gonna hurt me more by playing these mind games? I'm angry at myself for not being stronger then and sticking to my guns, but I wasn't, and now I'm paying the price by appearing to him like this pathetic ex girlfriend, which I'm not. Are guys really that heartless to do something like that? What the hell is going through his mind?

[offthemarket]

He obviously cares for you, but not enough to be with you. The guy is acting like a jerk; he will do this as long as you continue to respond... And as long as you continue not to respond. Seriously. You're obviously awesome. He's never gonna leave you alone completely. I still have guys contacting me from years ago. Like one guy I hooked up with a couple times, he was this total badass with strippers tattooed on his forearms and a lowrider and the most confident demeanor I've ever seen, called me out of the blue a while back seeing if he could take me to dinner. Long story short, he knows he is crazy to have let go of you. He is obviously not the guy for you if he can't get his sh*t straight. So get close to your girls now, call them or your mom or your sister when you start feeling weak (when I wanted to call my ex last year I would literally unplug all of my devices of communication, stack them up, and go across the parking lot to my girl's apartment and put them in there for the res of the night, then I would stay and talk to her for a bit before I went home and did something productive, like learning a new hobby... I'm a sewing badass now, btw...). Let them build you up. Be proud of yourself; it's not every woman who can keep em coming back like that. Good luck!

[Asker]

Thank you for the comment. Geez, I wish he was running back to me. But I'm the one who can't let go, even still! I have always initiated contact, and he rarely responds, which is why I'm confused why he even gave me his new number. Boys!!!

[Anonymous]

I don't get this either. When my ex broke up with me I told him I'm gone, we don't speak anymore and that's it.

I made it perfectly clear, but he still sent me his new number?

[RealDeal]

Hey now girls do this too. I dated someone who texted her new number to her ex after we been dating for almost a year. So imagine how frustrated I was, when I bought her a new phone with a new number. Kinda did it to see who she would be willing to give it out too. Man, did that blow up in my face.

Any how, the way I see it is that he still might care but not enough to work on a real friendship with you. I think he would be more upset with himself not being able to leave a door open for you and have you call him and get a message like, "this number is no longer in use".

I can't speak for why he acts the way he does but I do know that I wouldn't refuse s*x with an ex with no strings attached (besides from one girl, only because I still kinda care and that could set me back).

Remember that he knows you better then anyone else on this site and that he could be doing this just to see if you would use the number. This way the ball is basically in his court. You have the number, so now you have a choice whether or not to use it is up to you.

[Asker]

I've known he's a selfish a-hole for months, and I STILL hang on...I wish his damn number wasn't branded into my mind! Lol.

[chrissyla8706]

Correct me if I am wrong, you said "he does but I do know that I wouldn't refuse s*x with an ex with no strings attached (besides from one girl, only because I still kinda care and that could set me back.

Does this mean you don't contact her because you miss her or still care for her?

[RealDeal]

Yes, 'chrissyla8706' I kinda do care for the ex but there is so much sexual tension between the two of us, it's crazy. So even tho emotionally I can move on, I have a hard time getting past how physically attracted I am to this person. So when I say it would set me back, it would just make me want all the things we have already tired, but failed. I still think she is amazing and have so much respect for her, therefore will not be a jackass and let her move on and be happy because she deserves it

[RealDeal]

To the anonymous question asker. "I wish his damn number wasn't branded into my mind". You probably don't have his new number memorized so just erase it and be done with it. This way if he does popcorn you with a phone call you can just say, "oh yeah you did change your number, I just didn't take it down when you sent it to me". Because why would you care to, you know what I mean. Think if you sent him your number and he never called, you do and he was all, oh yeah totally forgot. You get the idea