Would you leave your partner if they became unattractive?

[Anonymous]

Be honest , if you no longer found your partner attractive , what would you do?

Yes

No

[Arbus]

Are they unattractive because of something they can control, or because of something outside their control?

Suppose someone gained weight, or stopped caring so much about personal hygiene, that is something that can be fixed, if the person is willing.

If someone because unattractive because of outside reasons, ageing, disease, etc. then it is cruel to leave them... Ageing happens to everyone, accidents and sickness can happen to anyone, and to love is to support people when they are most fragile. So breaking up in those circumstances seems wrong and cruel.

Now, it is true that being attracted to your partner is important, and it's difficult to be happy, and even to make the other person happy, if you don't feel attracted to them. I think the best thing to do is to always talk things through, be honest about it, and find ways to solve it. Maybe spice things up, try something new, travel, dress up, role play fantasies, be creative.

[abc3643]

This actually means something:

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

[Lance1965]

It doesn't seem to mean much to many people these days.

[FlutteringFeelings]

In the first place, if a relationship built on lust and physical attraction is a foundation that's not going to last long and one situation can and will change while rearranging your entire perspective of that individual. If a connection and the ability to keep the spark that is not only based on physical attraction than regardless of that person good or bad days you'll still be attracted to them. Love doesn't fade and if it doesn't than it wasn't love it was lust. Lust is based on the physical concept and the outer preferences. If that person can turn me on with their looks and if their high maintenance looks aren't present than i am no longer turned on. Love is consistent and it's a sacrifice & a promise to say through thick and thin i promise to love you and submit to you it is not a feeling.

[Lilyanony]

When we are young we focus on the way a partner looks and how they make us feel, but the reality is, you need to find a partner with the kind of qualities that stand the test of time. Yes looks come into play but you need to be with someone that allows you to be yourself, and your better self, someone you are happy to come home to. Someone you feel able to support and encourage to be their better self. If you think of a relationship as being a team more than about love and sex all these silly things won't matter, in the grand scheme of things this is fluff. Just something to think about.

[ragequeen]

Some people get their faces dipped in acid and they still keep their partners. It's love. Falling out of love because of lack of attraction was never love to begin with. That's fine, your choice to leave or not, but you never loved that person, and therefore they deserve someone better than you.

[melnc]

Nope.
I believe good looks only attracts the eyes, but personality attracts the heart.
so I'll continue my commitment and fulfill my promise without a second thought.

[jennifer_bloom]

I voted no but it depends how long I was with them and what kind of person they were too.

[JatinBansal]

It depends on the intentions one has when getting in a relationship. Some people get in relationships because of looks, some get in because of money and a lot of people get in a relationship because they have found a companion with whom they can be their original self. With original self I mean doing anything which we do at our home which could be embarrassing but our partner accepts us with flaws. Do you see people getting divorced during old age just because they are not attractive anymore. I am assuming you meant physical attractiveness.

[Bjorn526]

It’s kinda strange idea to consider, attraction is just based on physical appearance, I’ve experienced relationships where I seemed to be the only guy who was so attracted to a girl and she got more and more attractive over time. I’ve also experienced a girlfriend I had to really win over because every guy wanted her, yet as a girlfriend, she became increasingly unattractive, to the point I couldn’t even sleep with her anymore.
I am assuming you mean, something happened to their appearance? Gained a bunch of weight or burn victim? I certainly would hope I wouldn’t change how I feel about a girl because of that, I do take issue though with lifestyle changes, which is the underlying issue sometimes confused with attractiveness

[4everalone]

I read this as if you were asking generally (personality included) and yes I would leave that person. For example I loved an ex of mine but the more of his personality he revealed the less attractive I found him because he was very mean to me and others. So even though he had a nice face and body he seemed unattractive to me. I have a friend who is a bigger guy and very smart and once I dreamt we were dating (he’s gay so it would never happen) but just to show you to me at least attractiveness isn’t skin deep.

[dragonfly6516]

Yes. Attraction is NOT purely physical. I find it very unattractive when a handsome rich man is rude to employees at a business, just because he feels like his money entitles him to more.

Arrogance, greed, selfishness, sloth, all unattractive traits that have nothing to do with the physical appearance, that would cause me to walk away.

[360ws420]

That's what I'm saying!

[360ws420]

Nah. I mean, I had this high school sweetheart. In high school, he was very attractive, in shape, etc. After high school, he gained some lbs, stopped working out, etc.
That's not why I left him. I'm sure I gained at least 5lbs after high school myself. I left him because he became unattractive in the non physical sense? It was more because he stopped trying. Had no serious goals for the future. Started dealing drugs, wasting money, etc. He became unattractive when he quit trying altogether on everything, and I was the only one pulling my weight and trying to build a future with him.

[adrian_manole]

I see most people say no, but the raw truth is yes. Because you will not see your partner unattractive unless you stopped loving him/her. As long as there is " the spark" and the love you will love for their imperfections, even more you will not even see them. So I do believe it's a yes. But that's my opinion and my opinion only

[witherwing]

Probably not. Becoming unattractive usually happens over some time, and at the same time the value of looks lessen. I would have gotten so dedicated to the relationship that ending it because of looks would feel ridiculous, while I value looks in the dating phase a lot.

[LucyGrace]

I 100% agree with this

[madgoat]

Depends how much you have invested in them, joint history, joint finances, joint lives, co-parenting.
Your partner becomes so much more than just an attractive accessory.
But at your age, you can afford to think like this because the above is in the future.

[TripleAce]

Im not sure how they would really happen if I found her attracted to begin with... like your face doesn't just change overnight...
it only becomes unattractive if you guys aren't connecting well anymore, otherwise it just grows into more attraction regardless of appearance
for the most part

[djmzes]

First of all you have been with him for what reason.

[AdorableLilo]

It depends. If it's appearance wise (acne, bear belly, hair loss) i would stay with him. But when it comes to personality (becomes rude, douchey, selfish, constantly lies) i would leave him. Not instantly, tho. I would tell him about his behaviour and ask if he can change it. If he won't i would leave him. That's not the person i fell for

[ScaryCool]

I'd express my concerns to them and try to work with them to get them back to how they were if they just let themselves go a bit. If they however don't plan on exercising and such and don't care about me losing some physical attraction to them than that kind of bites and I don't know what I'd do. I probably wouldn't leave them but I'd me mad lol

[vishna]

Attraction can wane even if everything stays the same.

If I didn't find my partner attractive anymore, yes, I would leave.

However, if they were in an accident and suddenly their looks changed, I would not leave simply because they look different now, especially if we had a solid relationship beforehand.

[21feminist]

Definitely, if my partner doesn't care about her looks anymore then she obviously doesn't care about herself anymore. I would wanna help her of course but we both know that most women thing true love involves loving everything about your partner, which is why some girls ain't getting dick. Also if I stopped going to the gym and stopped maintaining my masculine sexiness then I know she goin be getting herself some other dick. And if we're married I'll be the one paying.

[Tuxxy]

Depends. Lets say she goes from really fit and healthy gym all the time and begins to put on A LOT of fat, now this is no longer attractive. Of course I'd try to get her into the gym but if that was impossible depending on how much I loved the chick I'd have to make an ultimatum.

Attraction is extremely important to relationships at least in my opinion.

[LovingZombi]

How did you get your partner, if you realize now their unattractive?
were you in the dark and said "I choose you pikachu'?
I wouldn't leave my partner base off of looks. I believe thats just stupid of the person, to base the person off of looks and not heart.
Its their lost.

[alitheabean]

I would not. In the begining of a relationship you do focus on looks, then you just genuinely enjoy having that person around. Ugly or not, their personality is what should captivate you. You only have to enjoy their presense and love them for who they are. Looking good isn't the point in repationships, its to feel the connection between the two

[lolanona]

Attraction is more than physical. Although the physical is important to me, people can turn their appearances around and work on them. If I was no longer attracted to his personality, the person he was becoming, his mental and emotional sides, then yes I would leave him. I would be lying to myself if I stayed. If I were married it would be more challenging to leave but I wouldn't suffer a life of unhappiness for anyone.

[Claire136]

Nah, I'd probably be too comfortable with him or too used to being with him to think of leaving him. And the thought of going through all the dating bullshit again is just too much. Also, he's got a personality that can pretty make me forget about his looks or body.

[Mexicoman101]

It depends. Like if they suffered an acid attack by a terrorist or had their face mangled by a monkey, I would want to but there would be an internal struggle as to whether I should. If they just got really really fat, I would work with them to exercise and est healthy.

[ravedave]

I mean it would depend in what way. Like if my partner gained a massive amount of weight and had no interest in losing it, then probably yeah.

It's disingenuous to stay with someone if you don't find them physically attractive. If a long term relationship is going to work you need some level of physical/sexual satisfaction, and that's not going to happen if you don't find them sexually appealing and that's just going to lead to you feeling unfulfilled or resentful in the long term.

[Anonymous]

Attractive in appearance or in terms of behavior? Both? I think the first thing to do if physical is encouraging better physique like going gym together or jogging in the park. If grooming, make an appointment to get that fixed, surprise him with stylish suitable clothes, drop hints , "I find it always attractive when you would had that hairstyle or -insert name if cologne- turns me on... if it's about behavior it's a bit more difficult to address, maybe counseling?

[machine101]

Depends, if thats physically, then no, if thats mentally n personality wise n keeps acting like an asshole then yes.

[Gooseline]

If you are only together because you likes each others looks then you were destined to fail from the start.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

No i wouldn't leave a partner who became unattractive, my levels of love would still be the same no matter what.

[Harttttt]

Honestly. If I fall in love with someone it wouldn't be for their looks. Sure, looks are what draw people in in the first place but whether or not they choose to stay with that person will depend on their personality and who they are.

[azzntittiz]

Most people would because they don't know how to love and most of you don't even love the person you're with, you just don't want to be alone. So let me answer for most people here, yes they would.

[BamaCindy]

If they were mangled in a car wreck then no but if they just got lazy and gained 200lbs then yes because there are other things going on there and they can help that.

[anuragk033]

It's impossible because she's the most beautiful girl in the world 😍

[FlyingSpatula]

The appearance only mattered at the beginning at the relationship.

But I'll be damned if the person became obese and refused to do something about it.

[cherryphi82]

That all wildly depends. If they are unattractive because of who they have become, then that's more than just letting yourself go physically. In that case, absolutely. If they just put on a few pounds, that's no big deal.

[XRabbitHeartX]

Well I don't know how my boyfriend can become "unattractive" to me when he is clearly attractive to me now for many reasons :P But to answer, no. I love my boyfriend far, far beyond his looks.

[Girly1710]

Only way I wouldn’t be attracted to him anymore is if his personality changes and I don’t see him turning evil anytime soon so no this wouldn’t happen.

[Jordynxox]

My friends always seem to find my partners ugly or unattractive. I've always found my partner (s) attractive in their own way and soon find every aspect of them beautiful

[Cosytoasty]

Depends, if she had an accident or something that wasn't her fault, then no.

If she just started getting obese and lazy then yeah.

[findingdreamland-1]

I like them when they care for themselves, going gym, watching weight.. But i do not lose my attraction just because they change. Appearance can be improved.

[Jemini_Crocket]

Probably not. Even if they would gain a lot of weight, I'd still love them even though I wouldn't really be happy and probably the attraction would slowly fade away.

[Anonymous]

The only way that I can think that my guy could start to become unattractive to me is if he begins to physically, emotionally, or financially abuse me. For those reasons, yes, I absolutely would leave.

[Anonymous]

No, what if I started becoming unattractive to them are they going to leave? I would hope looks don’t matter anymore if you’ve been with them so long

[daisy56]

Nope, they’d always be attractive to me, even if he gained large amounts of weight he’s still the same person from before

[StarsInTheEyes]

What is your definition of becoming "unattractive"?

Physically? Mentally/emotionally? Intellectually? Sexually?

And how?

[chunkycheeks]

I wouldn't leave. My fiance has gotten a lot chubbier over this year and I still love him. I'm not into chubby guys but with him it doesn't matter.

[crazy_one01]

No.. but my sex drive would go down. I'd probably stay in the relationship but avoid sexual advances.. (if it got that bad)

[LittleRedKat]

I don't find my partner attractive. I never have. I love him because if who he is.

[jonesjessica812]

His personality? If I were him I'd feel ugly

[bongger]

If by unattractive you mean looks then no I won't leave, but if it's about personality and such then yes.

[9teen]

What do you mean becoming unattractive? I don't see myself finding someone unattractive while I've been always attracted to him.

[K1011]

No when you love you love everything about your partner and looks by time will not matter you can just help make him look better i guess if it bothers you

[michael78018]

It doesn't matter if my baby got into a bad burning accident I would never stop loving her the same way I did when I first laid eyes on her but that's just the way love and loyalty should always be

[AynonOMouse]

No, but I probably wouldn't be interested in intimacy with her if she gained a bunch of weight.
On the other hand if she happened to get scarred or burned, I'd still want intimacy with her.

[valualty]

That contradicts what people usually say about how they pick personality over looks

[Pens4life]

If I was as shallow as a kiddie pool then yes. The only way I would leave her is if her personality changed for the worse. And that would be an absolute last resort. I would attempt to do everything I could to save the relationship

[SarahsSummer]

Ideally, even as his looks change, I’ve developed feelings much deeper than skin deep ones.

[Shimy]

I could talk to them and try to fix it? Like if it's a weight problem, or a skin care problem it can be fixed

[PrincessPie]

A long term thing? no, i mean if i love them i wouldn't leave because of that.

[MelMoi]

Yes, my partner needs to care for his physical appearance in order for him to love me of course..

[theflash675]

See this is why i eat people. So shallow

[Joe12]

Maybe it's the love dying out if not then tell her before I decide to leave what has become unattractive about her

[OmgItsJoe123]

Leaving my partner for her potential unattractiveness means that I am only attracted to her for her looks in the first place... not for her personality and care, which is shallow and dumb.

[Howells]

I would not leave her if she becomes unattractive, but I have to admit that I wouldn’t start a relationship with a person that I don’t found attractive