Would you leave your partner if they became unattractive?

[Anonymous]

Be honest , if you no longer found your partner attractive , what would you do?

Yes

No

[Arbus]

Are they unattractive because of something they can control, or because of something outside their control?

Suppose someone gained weight, or stopped caring so much about personal hygiene, that is something that can be fixed, if the person is willing.

If someone because unattractive because of outside reasons, ageing, disease, etc. then it is cruel to leave them... Ageing happens to everyone, accidents and sickness can happen to anyone, and to love is to support people when they are most fragile. So breaking up in those circumstances seems wrong and cruel.

Now, it is true that being attracted to your partner is important, and it's difficult to be happy, and even to make the other person happy, if you don't feel attracted to them. I think the best thing to do is to always talk things through, be honest about it, and find ways to solve it. Maybe spice things up, try something new, travel, dress up, role play fantasies, be creative.

[abc3643]

This actually means something:

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

[Lance1965]

It doesn't seem to mean much to many people these days.

[FlutteringFeelings]

In the first place, if a relationship built on lust and physical attraction is a foundation that's not going to last long and one situation can and will change while rearranging your entire perspective of that individual. If a connection and the ability to keep the spark that is not only based on physical attraction than regardless of that person good or bad days you'll still be attracted to them. Love doesn't fade and if it doesn't than it wasn't love it was lust. Lust is based on the physical concept and the outer preferences. If that person can turn me on with their looks and if their high maintenance looks aren't present than i am no longer turned on. Love is consistent and it's a sacrifice & a promise to say through thick and thin i promise to love you and submit to you it is not a feeling.

[Lilyanony]

When we are young we focus on the way a partner looks and how they make us feel, but the reality is, you need to find a partner with the kind of qualities that stand the test of time. Yes looks come into play but you need to be with someone that allows you to be yourself, and your better self, someone you are happy to come home to. Someone you feel able to support and encourage to be their better self. If you think of a relationship as being a team more than about love and sex all these silly things won't matter, in the grand scheme of things this is fluff. Just something to think about.

[ragequeen]

Some people get their faces dipped in acid and they still keep their partners. It's love. Falling out of love because of lack of attraction was never love to begin with. That's fine, your choice to leave or not, but you never loved that person, and therefore they deserve someone better than you.

[melnc]

Nope.
I believe good looks only attracts the eyes, but personality attracts the heart.
so I'll continue my commitment and fulfill my promise without a second thought.

[jennifer_bloom]

I voted no but it depends how long I was with them and what kind of person they were too.

[JatinBansal]

It depends on the intentions one has when getting in a relationship. Some people get in relationships because of looks, some get in because of money and a lot of people get in a relationship because they have found a companion with whom they can be their original self. With original self I mean doing anything which we do at our home which could be embarrassing but our partner accepts us with flaws. Do you see people getting divorced during old age just because they are not attractive anymore. I am assuming you meant physical attractiveness.

[Bjorn526]

It’s kinda strange idea to consider, attraction is just based on physical appearance, I’ve experienced relationships where I seemed to be the only guy who was so attracted to a girl and she got more and more attractive over time. I’ve also experienced a girlfriend I had to really win over because every guy wanted her, yet as a girlfriend, she became increasingly unattractive, to the point I couldn’t even sleep with her anymore.
I am assuming you mean, something happened to their appearance? Gained a bunch of weight or burn victim? I certainly would hope I wouldn’t change how I feel about a girl because of that, I do take issue though with lifestyle changes, which is the underlying issue sometimes confused with attractiveness

[4everalone]

I read this as if you were asking generally (personality included) and yes I would leave that person. For example I loved an ex of mine but the more of his personality he revealed the less attractive I found him because he was very mean to me and others. So even though he had a nice face and body he seemed unattractive to me. I have a friend who is a bigger guy and very smart and once I dreamt we were dating (he’s gay so it would never happen) but just to show you to me at least attractiveness isn’t skin deep.

[dragonfly6516]

Yes. Attraction is NOT purely physical. I find it very unattractive when a handsome rich man is rude to employees at a business, just because he feels like his money entitles him to more.

Arrogance, greed, selfishness, sloth, all unattractive traits that have nothing to do with the physical appearance, that would cause me to walk away.

[360ws420]

That's what I'm saying!

[360ws420]

Nah. I mean, I had this high school sweetheart. In high school, he was very attractive, in shape, etc. After high school, he gained some lbs, stopped working out, etc.
That's not why I left him. I'm sure I gained at least 5lbs after high school myself. I left him because he became unattractive in the non physical sense? It was more because he stopped trying. Had no serious goals for the future. Started dealing drugs, wasting money, etc. He became unattractive when he quit trying altogether on everything, and I was the only one pulling my weight and trying to build a future with him.

[adrian_manole]

I see most people say no, but the raw truth is yes. Because you will not see your partner unattractive unless you stopped loving him/her. As long as there is " the spark" and the love you will love for their imperfections, even more you will not even see them. So I do believe it's a yes. But that's my opinion and my opinion only

[witherwing]

Probably not. Becoming unattractive usually happens over some time, and at the same time the value of looks lessen. I would have gotten so dedicated to the relationship that ending it because of looks would feel ridiculous, while I value looks in the dating phase a lot.

[LucyGrace]

I 100% agree with this

[madgoat]

Depends how much you have invested in them, joint history, joint finances, joint lives, co-parenting.
Your partner becomes so much more than just an attractive accessory.
But at your age, you can afford to think like this because the above is in the future.

[TripleAce]

Im not sure how they would really happen if I found her attracted to begin with... like your face doesn't just change overnight...
it only becomes unattractive if you guys aren't connecting well anymore, otherwise it just grows into more attraction regardless of appearance
for the most part

[djmzes]

First of all you have been with him for what reason.

[AdorableLilo]

It depends. If it's appearance wise (acne, bear belly, hair loss) i would stay with him. But when it comes to personality (becomes rude, douchey, selfish, constantly lies) i would leave him. Not instantly, tho. I would tell him about his behaviour and ask if he can change it. If he won't i would leave him. That's not the person i fell for

[ScaryCool]

I'd express my concerns to them and try to work with them to get them back to how they were if they just let themselves go a bit. If they however don't plan on exercising and such and don't care about me losing some physical attraction to them than that kind of bites and I don't know what I'd do. I probably wouldn't leave them but I'd me mad lol

[vishna]

Attraction can wane even if everything stays the same.

If I didn't find my partner attractive anymore, yes, I would leave.

However, if they were in an accident and suddenly their looks changed, I would not leave simply because they look different now, especially if we had a solid relationship beforehand.

[21feminist]

Definitely, if my partner doesn't care about her looks anymore then she obviously doesn't care about herself anymore. I would wanna help her of course but we both know that most women thing true love involves loving everything about your partner, which is why some girls ain't getting dick. Also if I stopped going to the gym and stopped maintaining my masculine sexiness then I know she goin be getting herself some other dick. And if we're married I'll be the one paying.

[Tuxxy]

Depends. Lets say she goes from really fit and healthy gym all the time and begins to put on A LOT of fat, now this is no longer attractive. Of course I'd try to get her into the gym but if that was impossible depending on how much I loved the chick I'd have to make an ultimatum.

Attraction is extremely important to relationships at least in my opinion.

[LovingZombi]

How did you get your partner, if you realize now their unattractive?
were you in the dark and said "I choose you pikachu'?
I wouldn't leave my partner base off of looks. I believe thats just stupid of the person, to base the person off of looks and not heart.
Its their lost.

[alitheabean]

I would not. In the begining of a relationship you do focus on looks, then you just genuinely enjoy having that person around. Ugly or not, their personality is what should captivate you. You only have to enjoy their presense and love them for who they are. Looking good isn't the point in repationships, its to feel the connection between the two

[lolanona]

Attraction is more than physical. Although the physical is important to me, people can turn their appearances around and work on them. If I was no longer attracted to his personality, the person he was becoming, his mental and emotional sides, then yes I would leave him. I would be lying to myself if I stayed. If I were married it would be more challenging to leave but I wouldn't suffer a life of unhappiness for anyone.