Am I just a filler until he finds someone else?

[tynka85]

My ex and I have been friends since we broke up over a year ago. I keep on dating here and there but haven't found anything special and he is doing the same. We talked about crossing that line again and that's not were we see ourselves, well mostly he doesn't see himself in a relationship anytime soon. We really close we talk and talk about things that worry us and about pretty much anything on our minds. We can go out to dinners, movies, stay in and watch movies and have a WONDERFUL time. I started falling for him more and more due to him acting as a boyfriend instead of friend these past few weeks. Holding my hand while we're walking, cuddling me even if we're just watching TV, kissing me just because.. SO here is the question... Is he falling in love with me? Or he is just using me till he finds the next girl?

[Anonymous]

Actions speak louder than words. If this contiunes, it seems like he is really into you. But at the same time, as this has happened to me just recently with my ex girlfriend, it could be that it's just because it's safe and comfortable.

Be careful because if you start putting your feelings in and then a week later, he becomes distant, it's most likely that he was just using you because he was feeling lonely. I hope I'm wrong for your sake. I fell for my ex girlfriend after being in the same situation you are in now, and now it's been almost a month since I've heard from her.

Just watch yourself hun. To save yourself from getting crushed and resenting him, tell him how you feel about the situation. Communication is key. Because I don't want you to feel like I do, it's not a good place to be, especially around the holidays.

[tynka85]

I'm sorry that it happened to you. Like it stinks a lot I can only imagine.

I did talk to him about it a few months back when I started getting those feelings for him. And that's when he told me that he hasn't been out in the dating scene and he's not srue what he's missing out on. And I agree you have to go out there and see what else is out there if you haven't in the past. He also told me he just doesn't want a relationship right now.

What happened with your ex? Why aren't you speaking?

[Opinion Owner]

Long story short, she told me she loved me, then a week later she said she didn't know if she loved me. That it's not you it's me. She's not ready for a relationship. This happened over a year ago. We would hook up here and then, but then she became distant. About a month ago we started hanging out again, and all the feelings started to come back. Now I try to hang out with her and she always has something going on, but never tries to hang out. I think she was lonely and just wanted to feel good

[tynka85]

I think you and I are in the same boat. People get lonely and make dumb decisions not considering the other persons feelings. And it sucks you and I are on the sh*tty side of things. He even told my cousin (thats like a brother to me) that he really cares about me and that he doesn't want to lose me as a friend.. but I guess that's all I'll ever be to him is a friend. And maybe I shouldn't look into the little things he's been doing for me lately. Just brush it off like the feelings for him.

[Opinion Owner]

We care about people and express our feelings. But I think he is setting you up to be a backup girlfriend. You are more than a friend to him, if he is treating you like this. I think he wants the relationship fun without the relationship title. Which is completely selfish. But I think he is doing the same thing my ex girlfriend is doing. Enjoy the times you are together, but just be careful hun.

[tynka85]

Lets hope I'm not a backup girlfriend. That's why I'm gonna go out there and find someone that will want to be with me instead of putting me on a back burner. So once I find that person, maybe he will realize that he is too late now ;) Good luck to you and I'm sure you will find someone a great or greater then your ex girlfriend. If its meant to be it will be. Keep your head up and lets not get hurt anymore :)