Is it a good idea to send a hand written apology letter to an ex girlfreind that you hurt?

[Niceguy1992]

I've been thinking about this long and hard for a long time now and I keep going back and forth on this.

I really want to send a letter to my ex girlfriend whom I love very much abd miss a lot but ended up losing her due to cheating. It's been a year since we broke up.

I want to send her a letter apologizing for everything that I did wrong. Why I did what I did. What caused me to do what I did. To show how her how much I've changed in my life in a positive way. How I've progressed my life in school, in my career and financially. How I've gotten sober and quit drinking. How I've matured as a person and learned and grown from my mistakes.

I also want to tell her that I understand why she left, how she had to and that she had no choice. I betrayed her trust and hurt her. I want to show her that I understand the damage that I caused. I want her to know that i take responsibility for damaging/ruining our relationship. I want her to know that I don't blame her and I dont fault her. That I blame myself. That I was selfish.

I also want to tell her from the bottom of my heart how I really feel about her. How much she really means to me. And how serious i took this breakup to change my life for the better. I want tell her that I love her with all my heart.

I also want to let her know that I dont expect her forgiveness. I dont expect her to accept my apology. I don't even expect her to even speak to me again. I know I'm not entitled to that at all. I dont deserve it tbh. That I just want her to be happy in life. That i wish the best for her. That I will always be here for her. That if she ever changed her mind about me she knows how to find me.

Is this a good idea? Me and this girl were deeply in love we were planning marriage and a life together. I do miss her a lot and want her back in my life. But I'm also aware that she may never come back and I accept that. I just want to right my wrongs as best as I can.

[hithereeveryone]

I feel like it would hurt both of you immensely if she wasn't open to getting back together. If she doesn't respond or responds negatively can you be TRULY ok with that? Think about it, you have to protect yourself too. It also depends where she is at emotionally, is she just going to be more hurt by hearing from you? You need to gain her trust again. If she is receptive to getting back together, both of you need to know it's a BRAND NEW relationship. Apologize briefly and with sincerity, then ask if you could meet just to catch up. You gotta regain her trust all over again and start from the beginning.. if you feel like it I need more answers to my question 😁

[Niceguy1992]

I just recently been unblocked on Facebook. So I'm guessing she may be open to hearing from. I think apologizing sincerely and telling her what she really means to me could be the first step in gaining her trust back. I also am prepared for no response or negative one at the same time. I just dont want to leave things unsaid. If it doesn't work out. I can at least say I tried my best and not have any regrets.

Am I wrong for thinking this way?

[hithereeveryone]

Well telling her every single feeling you have might be way too much for her. It's just out of nowhere. Remember she's probably not waiting around hoping you will tell her every feeling within you. Remember it's been a year, you need that fresh start. she will trust you more if you take it slow. Do you think she's just gonna jump back in at the moment you tell her every detail of your love, regret, etc? No she needs that time, take it slow

[Niceguy1992]

So just a short and simple apology for everything I did wrong.

[hithereeveryone]

Just make sure you tell her you have no expectations (like you said)

[Niceguy1992]

Will do

[leestella1999]

I think you guys need to talk to each other and explain.

[Niceguy1992]

Yeah but we're not on speaking terms right now. This letter is my way of extending the olive branch you know.

[leestella1999]

Just write a letter and vomit your feelings. Or talk to her parents

[leestella1999]

If not improve your lifestyle and date other girls

[Niceguy1992]

Thanks for your advice. I'm leaning towards writing this letter. Don't want to involve anyone else.

[leestella1999]

But yup write a letter first and see how I feel writing letter can write words that you guys cannot say to each other

[BrexitAteMyHamster]

No, it's not a good idea and it's not just to make up for what you did. You want her back and so telling her that you don't expect anything from her would be untrue and you know it. Let it go, you did what you did. Improve yourself for you, not to get her back.

[Niceguy1992]

I just don't want to leave things unsaid you know. I do want her back of course. But I don't expect anything. If she accepts it great, if not that's what I deserve. But at least she'll know how truly sorry I am.