Should I send my ex an apology letter?

I broke up with him 6 months ago and broke his heart. He has a new girlfriend now and I truly am happy for him. I want to write an apology letter for how I handled the breakup since I am now in a better place. And wish him the best with his new girl. This has been in my conscious for a while now, and I want to let him know how I feel. Should I do it?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • That's a tough one... One of the closest people to me is an ex-gf where things just didn't work out - we were just id different places in life. But that ended on a good note. It's one of those strange anomalies. Nobody knows you as well as an intimate partner, especially when you've both shown each other everything about yourselves. They can be a very valuable part of your lifetime support structure. That is in the norm at all though. In fact, it's probably very, very rare. If you feel like you would have a relationship like that with him, then by all means. That doesn't sound likely though, so you probably shouldn't. Plus, you never know, it could cause some drama or something with him and/or his new GF.

    If you absolutely have to quell your conscious so you can move on, then maybe try to convey what you want to say in another more discreet way?

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What Guys Said 9

  • i think you need to leave your ex in the past. Ya know the saying "live without regrets"? this applies here. I'm sure he understands your in a better place, and a letter to him would just be... strange.

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  • No, don't. Who do you think this apology letter will help more? Him, who's already moved on and has a girl. Maybe you, to help you feel better for some wrong you've done him. No guy want's to her well wishes from an EX that hurt him bad.

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  • No. Absolutely not. You should not offload your guilt by complicating other lives. That's your problem, not his. Just write your letter and put it in a mailbox symbolically.

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  • Yes. Do not put anything that a paranoid/jealous person would see as romantic because you might screw things up with his new girl. Just say you're sorry and wish him the best. Let him know you handled the break up immaturely and you're sorry for it.

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  • No. There's no need. Just keep the lessons you learned.

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  • Let him be!

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  • I would. But don't send him a text. If his girlfriend sees it she'll probably think your trying to win him back and he'll think you've still got feelings for him. Don't send a person mixed signals. Just tell him in the letter you're sorry and could've handled the situation better. Tell you would still like to be friends if he's comfortable with that.

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  • bad idea. He has moved on, leave him alone.

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  • He probably won't care.

    Why not write the letter, and pretend you sent it? It's only for your benefit anyway. Like I say, he won't give a crap.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I would not recommend you to do this. as you said, you are in a better place and he has moved on so the apology letter is not advisable. In time, your roads will cross and perhaps you can say sorry personally but you don't have to do it now intentionally; it would just create misunderstanding for both of you. Leave it to fate whether you will be given an opportunity to discuss about it and apologize for mistakes you have done in the past.

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  • No. You both have moved on and I think a letter would only ignite the hurt that was caused between both parties. Everyone handles break ups differently--just because your ready to apologize to him does not mean he is ready to forgive you. That's just my opinion though.

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  • I think that writing him a letter is a bad idea, and you should probably leave the past in the past. He seems to be moving on and dating someone else, which suggests he wasn't traumatized for life by the breakup... and he might be perfectly happy at this point, so why disrupt that by dredging up bad memories or forcing your conscious on him? It shows you have great character that you feel badly about what happened with him, but accepting your mistakes is much more admirable than pushing for forgiveness or punishing yourself with guilt.

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  • If he had totally moved on with his life, and hadn't displayed any signal of regret for losing you, then there is no need for you to apology. Just let the past behind your back, and move on.

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  • it might cause trouble as his new girlfriend might read it and think you're trying to initiate something to eventually get him back, you don't want to remind him out of the blue of how you broke his heart even if you are sorry about it he's moved on now and is happy which is the main thing that matters

    if you happen to see him around (without purposely trying to bump into him) and he doesn't seem too reluctant to talk to you, you can give him a short heartfelt apology in person and wish him the best with his new girlfriend

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  • No. Leave him be. Don't get in the way of his relationship for the sake of your conscience.

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  • are you wanting him back in your life? do you still love him/miss him? if so but you know it won't work out just leave him alone. it would be unfair for you to pick this wound if he's moved on so

    really think about why you want to do this...

    its OK to feel bad about how it ended but things end and if he's with someone who makes him happy then he learned from it just like you did.

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