Ex-girlfriend wants to come by and pick up her stuff?

[Anonymous]

Alright so a quick run down. Me and my ex dated for almost 3 yrs. We broke up because she was no longer in love with me. She made it very difficult, telling me she slept with another guy ( which was like a few days after we broke up) , telling me things like she didn't know if she ever loved me, and so on. Anyways I was very pleseant though out the whole ordeal. Never got mad, just tried to make her happy. Anyways after a month of actually breaking up, I went away on vacation. After this I didn't talk to her at all. It has been almost 3 months now. I am back at school, college, and she contacts me not too long ago telling me she is dating this guy. Then a week or soo later she starts asking for her stuff back. She started with the do you have anything of mine? And I told her I didn't know, then it turned into I want this and this back. Anyway, I tell her fine I'll mail it or I'll give it to a mutual friend. We live pretty far apart, a few hrs, so these mutual friends see us every now and again. Well she tells me no that's alright I'll just come by your dorm and pick it up no big deal. She is coming to visit a friend down this way and said its easier if I just pick it up, but in reality I am like 20 minutes out of the way, and I might actually be meeting up with the same friend for lunch some time soon. My question is why would and ex that dumped you want to come by your place to pick up their stuff? It's not easier cause we are gonna have to try and coordinate when we can meet up and stuff. Any imput would be helpful.! :-)

[mikenice8]

If it was me in your situation, I wouldn't even pick her phone calls, and I'd be in ass to her, seeing how she was an ass to you. I'm also from the northeast and we're usually dicks. anywas it's probably stupid shit, and not worth your time.

You don't owe her nothing by her breaking up to you, don't let her walk all over you, and tell her she'll get the stuff on your terms. I feel bad for you bro, she did you pretty dirty and probably had thing for this guy before you two broke up.

[Asker]

Well here's the deal I can be a complete ass, but I told myself I wouldn't be throughout this. Kind of a self improvement kinda thing. But the more and more this shit goes on the more and more I wanna say screw it.This shit she wants back, a jacket that's her dads, he let me borrow it and I have to give that back. But then she wants something that kinda a thing we shared... which is even wierder.

[Asker]

Your right though I don't owe her anything. I told her to let me know how she was gonna get her shit. Obviously it didn't sink in that I wanted her to tell her friend I was gonna drop it off at her friends dorm, even though I told her that's what I was gonna do!!....I appreciate your advice and thanks a lot!!

[l-hedoniste]

'Cause she feels like it. I doesn't matter. Put it in a pile by the front door. Let her get her stuff and go.

Don't allow or initiate conversation. Get her and her stuff out. She sounds like a manipulator (my guess on why she's coming) but it doesn't really matter. Because your ONLY GOAL is to get her and her stuff out.

[Nicky87]

im gonan agree with everyone else. I did the same thing in high schoo;l I was a bitch sadly. but thankfully I've changed. id do anything I can to try and see or talk to an ex to make them feel like this and se ethat I'm goo without them and play with their heads. it is an advantage some girls have over guys unfffortntly.

[Asker]

Ya I understand she's trying to play games.....but I haven't really talk to her in like 2 months!! To me that's a problem if your still trying to make me jealous?? Like does that mean she regrets it or is just plain f**ed up?? And what will seeing me do?

[Nicky87]

Sometimes seeing that they aren't with semone or jsut havign them see you and see how you look and the fact that they aren't with you is jsut a satisfaction.. us woman are brutal somtimes lol

[Asker]

Lol...see this is were I get confused?? How does that help you?? Will it piss her off more if I give it to a friend?? I won't lie I still have feelings for her (which I don't nessessarily like)....and actually she was asking another mutual friend about me....andI'm pretty sure he told her I was talking to someone (which is true), however I'm not anymore. I guess I just don't get why it matters, she doesn't want to be in my life anymore!! Then why does it matter what I am doing or what I look like??

[Nicky87]

Its hard to explain.. lol its a pride thing maybe... I don't know it jsu does. lol I'm sorry! lol I know I'm not makig it much easier.. and it might piss her off more if you give it to a mutal friend. and show her that you don't have anything left for her (feelings wise even though you do) its easier for you and might just make her annoyed enough to leave you alone..

[Asker]

Alright well I decided just to mail it.....even though I'm a broke college kid it worth it. If she regreted what she did, even though I probably couldn't except her back, I would at least be nice. However, there is no sign that she gives a damn, just that she wants to see me, most likely to make me feel more like shit....lol. And I am guessing doing this will probably give her the hint to just back off. But thanks for your help!!

[993099142]

I think she is looking for an excuse to talk to you. maybe she wants some kind of closure or something. or she wants to rub it in your face. either way. I don't think she is indifferent.

[Asker]

Idk I guess the only way to find out is to meet up with her....obviously on my schedule I'm not gonna change shit for her....i figure if she is a bitch then that's what she wants to do (rub it in my face)!! the most likely senario. I haven't thought about if she is nice....idk

[993099142]

She might feel like she's not a very good girlfriend because you don't miss her that much. you seem to have handled this really well, not worried or stressed or concerned about her leaving you. She might want to get more of a reaction out of you to feel that she mattered. If she insists on meeting you... do it just this one time... and then cut of all contact with her, block her number, change your e-mail address and everything else.

[Asker]

Well I deffinately didn't handle it well the first month....but I figure it was more of a shock factor!! And I know she is trying to get me going. To get me angry at her. I just don't get why what I think matters, in all honesty if she doesn't love me then why does she care? I don't know I might be looking to much into it. I have thought of blocking her but I don't want to be a jerk.

[obscene]

Well there you go, just keep cool

maybe you can even have it backfire and make HER angry!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Tell her you will give it to the mutual friend and have no interest in seeing or talking to her. She sounds like an awful person and is just messing with your head. You sound like you are doing fine without her, keep that up and don't let her drag you down.

[AJtogo]

If you do have some stuff belonging to her then pack it all up in a box, then you decide how she's going to get it back. Do whatever is easiest for you. Since you both will be seeing this mutual friend, then ask him/her to pass the stuff along.

[Asker]

Told her Id do that....then she insisted that it be easier for her to just stop by and get it. Its no big deal....i even told her it wasn't nessessary because we had to meet up and stuff, (pretty much implyed I didn't want to see her)

[AJtogo]

Then you insist to her that it is a big deal and that she get it from the mutual friend. If necessary, tell her that you don't want to see her. That wouldn't be impolite or rude; you are exes.

It appears that you don't want to see her. Implying it to her isn't working so tell her.

[swthrt1231]

Leave it infront of your door then tell her she can pick it up it is the box outside the door that you have plans and will not be home

[Asker]

I just don't get why she wants to meet up...and I just don't want her thinking I'm not doing good. It's been 3 months. And swthrt1231....i live in like an apt complex with college kid lol....it would be gone within 10min lol

[obscene]

Just drop it off to your friend anyway

or as someone else said put it all in a box

give it to your friend

but yeah don't do anything for her

just don't lose your cool, dogg

make her really mad

watch it backfire in her face

[Anonymous]

have your roommate give it to her.

[Anonymous]

put it on the curb.