The girlfriend wants to meet up with her ex?

[marcotomas]

My girlfriend asked me recently if I thought it was OK if she and her ex had dinner on Friday. She said that she "wants to have a good relationship with him" but that she's "willing to work around my reaction." (They broke up over a year ago, but starting talking again around Sep., when we first started seeing each other).

At first I told her that I didn't mind the dinner, but now I'm having second thoughts. It isn't that I don't trust her, but I simply feel like the presence of the ex is TOXIC to a committed relationship; I've seen them ruin many. I used to think it was fine, but after being in enough relationships, I've come to terms with the fact that no matter how much you trust your significant other, you CAN'T trust their ex. Therefore, I don't think that the ex playing any sort of personal role in someone's life is appropriate when you're currently dating.

Am I wrong to feel this way? I don't want to go back on my initial word, but I really am not as comfortable with this as I thought I'd be. Any suggestions as to a diplomatic approach to this?

Thanks.

[sparkplug]

No you are not. There is really no reason to have him in her life. She has you. Be honest with her. Tell her you do not feel comfortable with her having a relationship/friendship with him. If she respects your relationship she shouldn't have a problem with it. Good luck.

[iamallstar]

this is a huge red flag, dude.

he's supposed to be her ex for a reason. if she hasn't cheated on you with him already, she will soon enough.

Honestly though, I think she is testing you. Or something. Either way, as a man, you should NOT be ok with this.