Ex lost "respect" for me?

[corrosion]

My ex and I broke up, then we made up on V-Day, then it seemed like we broke up again – all mutually. We kept texting to 1-2 a day (good morning/have a good day) and she’d throw in babe, handsome in her texts. She always avoided having any conversations about the actual break up so I felt without closure. So one day I wrote her an e-mail saying that I love her, I miss her, and wish her best of luck in life. I also mentioned that I had my first one night stand (wanted to be honest – we have a mutual friend that loves to blab) and it felt wrong because it wasn’t her. She came back with a one line reply “I had so much respect for you before reading this”.

To me, I was just being open and getting my own closure that she denied me of. I just don’t know what I wrote that could be taken in such a way. I wasn’t asking for her back, I wasn’t saying my life was meaningless with her – nothing. I’m happy with my choice, but I’m still confused as to WHAT I did to spark such a reply.

I’m being told it’s the one night stand thing, but is there anything else?

[thetheme]

This is why you should NEVER tell EVERYTHING you do as a result of "honesty" because there are many women out there that will NOT take what you have to say as a good thing because you are honest. DO NOT ever bring up something if you don't have to, especially when it's anything intimate. You don't expect "closure" from anyone because it's not a guarantee. You wanted closure for your own satisfaction, and when she didn't give it to you all you did was throw a fit. When someone leaves you that is everything you need to know at that given moment so it's best to move on. Be honest with yourself totally. If she had told you that she had a one night stand how would you feel? You say you still love her, so could you imagine someone else holding her, kissing her, and most of all inside her? Go ahead and picture it right now while you're reading this, go ahead I'll wait... Not a good thought is it? Spare yourself the grief (that you put yourself in by adding to a fire that wasn't necessary) and move on. Many women react by emotion not logic. Women always look for a reason to disqualify you by exploiting the things they don't approve about you. Why would you even bring up something like that? You opened up a new can of bait for her to go fishing for more reasons not to be with you, and that's just plain stupid. Ex couples don't talk about a break up because it was a break up! Don't chase her because it will make you look more stupid. Move on and don't make this mistake again for your sake.

[biewersrule]

Thank you I think you've expressed how anyone would feel hearing about a one night stand from our lover or exlover.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Probably the one night stand and that's it.

Oh well. Tell her open and honestly you'd like some god damn closure from her though. Take it from someone who never got it and 4 years or so later it still bothers me :|

[corrosion]

Well I feel the fact that she a) denied me the closure b) lost respect for me for being honest and upfront about my feelings shows that she didn't respect my feelings to begin with. I feel like I got a sense of closure from her one line - I just wanted to confirm that it was the one night stand thing and not the "I love you" aspect of things.

[biewersrule]

DUH...No offence but that was really dumb...You should have spoken to her B4 the one night stand...are men all this dumb? I've lost respect for you and I don't even know you...NEXT

[corrosion]

What do you mean spoken to her? Spoke to her about what? Say "Hey! Just wanted to let you know that I love you, miss you and have a good life!" And then we're back to square 1 where I'm hearing nothing from her end. She was going on dates with other people the same week and cutting off contact with me - I don't feel bad about a ONS - especially considering how are I even do it.

[biewersrule]

Ok ok,you didn't mention she was dating other guys...so why are you complaining about closure...she obviously had closure with you since she was dating others but was she sleeping with them? Maybe she was just trying to show you to man up about your relationship...so if you tell her have a good life that means...to hell with her...moving on...other fish in the sea. I would see it as Goodbye for ever...it's what you want it seems like to me...or else you'd be chasing her like crazy