Sick and tired of holding onto false hope, how do I ask for closure?

[Anonymous]

It's been exactly 1 month today since my ex dumped me for unknown reasons. I was completely comfortable with her and thought everything was going fine and out of nowhere she breaks my heart. I accept it, agree on the offer of friendship, breakdown 2 days later and pretty much beg for her to take me back, I know now this was a mistake.

I've been no contact for 2 weeks, hoping she'll come around, but now she has asked my best mate out for coffee 1 on 1, I was expecting her to ask someone out to coffee since I had been no contact, but I definately didn't expect it to be my best friend. It's possible that she's playing games with me as last week I went to uni orienation with her best friend and we were hanging around together all week, but the difference is, her best friend has a boyfriend and I would never look at her in a romantic way, my best friend and my ex are single. ALthough I doubr she would be playing games, because what does she have to gain, she dumped me?

I saw her for the first time in a few weeks yesterday and gave her the cold shoulder. But when I heard that she asked my mate out for coffee it really upset me, I NEED closure, I NEED to know that I have no chance in getting back together with her, I haven't talked to her in a few weeks, I deleted her off facebook and have been blatently ignoring and I think she knows this, how do I talk to her? what do I say :O

Updates

+1 y

should I wait a few more weeks?

[Anonymous]

I want to hurt all of these web sites that offer the blatantly false hope that NC is a great way to get your ex back.

I don't think it works... at all. Well, maybe on a VERY rare case... but only in those where they were likely to get back together anyway.

You ignoring her will not get her back. If she's going to coffee with your friend, it could just be because she thinks he's a nice guy and wants to be friends with him. Or she may want to date him. But she's not trying to make you jealous to get you back.

You've already asked for her back, and she said no. (I did the same, so I don't blame you... when we're sad and desperate we try to use reasoning)

At this point, the only way you will receive closure is if you ask her for it. And you don't paint your ex out to be heartless. She may not be into you anymore, but I think if you tell her you just want to move on, sounds like she'll have this talk with you.

Just be prepared for her to tell you it's completely over. I don't think she's looking to get back together, but if you need this closure (and we all do, no shame in asking for it) be ready for her to give it to you. Accept it when it comes, and work to move on from her.

Then cut her out of your life with NC so you can heal. Not as a trick or a ploy to get her back, but as a true way for you to move on without her.

[YeahBuddy]

You don't say anything. My ex of 5 years ( we are 20) pretty much did the same except she did it passive aggressively and I had to confront her and it get it out of her.

You don't need closure...you get it on your own. If she hasn't contacted you what more do you want? Stay NC...better yourself...pamper yourself...and let life take its course.

DO NOT look for her. If you stay NC you protect your pride and maintain the power you once had.

If you see her...acknowledge her, be cordial...and on your way you go do not let her see your pain.

[Asker]

wouldn't it be better to find out what I did wrong

[Anonymous]

Let it go and move on. Sounds like she is playing games asking your friend for coffee. I say write her a letter, get your emotions out, but don't give it to her. Don't let her know your still thinking of her. She wanted to break up with you...so let her see what life is like without you. G'luck!

[adamretex81]

learn the rules of the game, and play them better than anyone else.

get another chick.

act cool and friendly around her

get a hot chick.

girls get very jealous. if she sees you happier than you were with her, she'll want you back. till than NC. don't delete her from fb and bbm etc. that's showing you care/have emotion.

show that it doesn't affect you. you gotta be chilled, act cool. man up

get another chick asap

[Anonymous]

Try writing her a letter. That should both relieve your stress and give her something to think about. There is a wrong way and right way to do it though. This guy can give you some good pointers =>letter to get ex back