My boyfriend got out of jail yesterday and hasn’t contact me yet?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend was supposed to be released next Wednesday but they released him yesterday. I didn’t know this until I contacted his sister today because he hasn’t called me yesterday from jail and it wasn’t like him. This is the second day I haven’t heard from him. He’s been in jail for almost 7 months.. what should I do?

[sejla]

Leave it alone.

I had a very nice young co-worker whose husband went to prison right after I hired her. He was one of those smooth tall good looking cowboy types. She stood by him because they had a child together. Sometimes she felt that he might have contact with other woman but she wasn't sure.

She worked, took care of their of their son and paid off her bills. When it was time for him to get out he started asking her about finding them a place. I cautioned her. He got out and he wanted to take a vacation without their son. She went away for a week and then came back.

A month later he left her saying he had fallen in love with a woman he met in a bar. She then divorced. She remarried someone else and has been married ever since. It's probably been at least 15 years. I periodically see her around town and the last time I saw her I asked whatever happened to your ex husband. He's still like a kid and he's been married 6 times.

If he doesn't contact you then you've dodged a bullet. If he really wanted to be with you he'd have asked you to pick him up at the jail.

[sejla]

If you are worried ask around and make sure he's alive.

[Asker]

Honestly I really needed to see this tonight. I want to say thank you for sharing your advice and your story. I talked to his sister , so I know he’s alive. But we live in different states right now so I couldn’t pick him up. I’m just very shocked that it ended this way.

[sejla]

Sometimes people need the support while they are in jail. Sometimes they need some time to pick up their lives. Hopefully he's going to work hard to get himself on track. The only problem sometimes people need to surround themselves with the right people and a good support system. I have a friend whose son is in prison. She's a really good mom but her son chose to do the wrong things. I told her I think he needs to see a therapist when he gets out so he doesn't go back to what he was doing before. She told me he's praying every day and doing better. I tried to tell her that it is easy to be good in prison but harder when someone gets out.

[Asker]

Yeah you are right about that. My boyfriend ( X now ) use to do that but look at him now.. he’s a drug addict and I’m pretty positive he’s going to go back doing the same shit because that’s why he ignores me.

[sejla]

I"m sorry. I have had people close to me with addiction. They do disappear. It's easy to stay clean in prison. If they get near it thinking because they've been clean for awhile they can get right back into it. Someone I know used to have an addiction then he had an injury that required pain killers but he would not tell his doctors he had an addiction. He never received treatment and quit on his own so he thought I never really had an addiction. The pain killer flared up the addiction and he ended up disappearing for days. All you can do is pray he is ok but if he's doing drugs all you can do it tell him to get help. If he doesn't you have to leave him alone. I married to someone with an alcohol addiction. He isn't a bad guy but he treated his trauma and depression with it. I eventually had to get a divorce. I stayed too long and it affected my health.

[Avicenna]

Tell his family to have him contact you

[Asker]

I told his sister and she said she will when she got off work last night

[Chanel1981]

Be happy, do you really want that type of man?

[Asker]

Yeah I do. I care for him.

[Chanel1981]

Unfortunately actions speak louder than words and it seems he's not terribly concerned with the relationship, doesn't it?

[Asker]

You’re 100% accurate

[Chanel1981]

I'm sorry for you but at least you've learned where is mind is

[JessieLo]

Find another boyfriend