Ex responding to my text, then ignoring me again. Why is he doing this?

[Anonymous]

So after a month of NC on my part I decided to text my ex boyfriend on Saturday. 5 min later, he responded with a pic from a hike he was on. He sounded excited in his text. We continued to text back and forth about the hike. I later messaged him that it was nice to talk to him again (he was one to never reply to those). Then just last night, I asked how his feet were because he said he had blisters "the size of Kansas". He didn't respond.

I'm not gonna lie, I was completely surprised.My heart was pounding. I'm still not completely over him, and I miss him a lot. He had told me a month earlier that he was "talking" to someone and that he wanted me to stop contacting him while he was getting to know her. He didn't want to "scare" her off. I respected his space.

I know I should probably not over-analyze, but why would he be so receptive to me, then suddenly just stop? I would hate to think that he's playing mind games. Or is he slowly coming back around?

Updates

+1 y

I need to add that he isn't seeing her anymore. I'm friends with his roommates' gf.

[Anonymous]

Anon Again: Continued ...lol :) Its not that he has a special power over you/or that your relationship was created in the heavens and that you are life long soul mates...Don't kid yourself...The reason why your so intrigued and glued to this guy is the same reason I was...hes a challenge and because ,ill admit , I had a bit of a low self esteem issue I felt like he was so great and I could never find anyone who would make me feel like he does...(which is like crap.) he never really treated me in a great special kinda way...Dont you think its sad that we are settling? For scraps! Measly little texts makes our hearts flutter and think "He loves me!" but come on he should want to see you! be with you! and commit to you and only you because he's afraid to loose something great...But he could careless if you move on! so do it!... We allow them to treat us this way because we hope that they will notice how great we are and that we are the ONE. but honey you are great and if he doesn't see that then tell that loser to step aside becasue the guys who does see how great you are is waiting for you just around the corner...

The reason why @$$holes like him treat woman like that is because we allow it! I was having a chat with my girlfriends at a restrurant and she said this to me: "Dude seriously why are you so desperate?...You know I'm sick and tired of this! Your selling yourself short for a guy who doesn’t deserve you. Its desperate insecure bitches like you that allow men to treat us this way. You enable him in hopes of him seeing that he has a good thing and that he will change but all you are proving to him is that you don’t have self respect and pride as a woman. Grow a back bone and if he won't respect you, you should at least respect yourself.” ... I was so humiliated but I knew she was right...This is why I cut all ties with him and HIS FRIENDS! No Contact with anyone that he knew or anyone that I met through him...even facebook...You have to do it and it will be hard but like I said text your friends when you miss him. I did and my girls would reply back by saying things like ,"Leave me alone its over" or they woudl pretend they were his new girlfriend and say things like "leave my man alone" Then it would quickly snap me bk to reality and I would think man this guy really doesn't deserve me... trust me it sounds crz but if your true friends love you they will help...Good luck !

[Asker]

Dont you think its sad that we are settling? For scraps! Measly little texts makes our hearts flutter and think "He loves me!" but come on he should want to see you! be with you! and commit to you and only you because he's afraid to loose something great...But he could careless if you move on! so do it!..." WOW! Seriously, this is exactly what I needed to hear! THANK YOU! I think I finally get it. God and to think I wasted 1 year over missing someone like that! I feel nauseated! Lol.

[Anonymous]

Okay, this is going to seem harsh but I'm in your shoes also. I have asked several of my guys friends why my ex would do that. He would also reply really excited then leave me hanging...They do it becasue they hope we get the hint. One of my guy friends said this to me...If I was dating you I would hate to hurt your feelings because deep down I know I was an asshole and you were great but at the same time I would hope that you got the hint when I never made the initiative to make contact with you...

In other words if you have initiated the NC Rule and your ex doesn't seem to care, it really means he doesn't care. You texting him and him replying is just out of courtesy, its not a huge sign of him wanting to rekindle things. The reason they stop replying is because they don't want to keep carrying a text conversation which might lead into "what happened to us " convo.

The reality is...if they really cared and missed us they would contact us...since they don't THEYRE JUST NOT THAT INTO US...It hurts becasue we miss them but they aren't missing us because they are quick to move onto the next one...Its been 1 mothn since my NC rule implemantation and he has completely moved on...So honey don't relapse again...its not worth the stress and over analysation.

[Asker]

Ugh...I hate to admit it...but you're right. And deep down, I already know this. But because he's giving me any kind of attention, it keeps me "hopeful". I haven't texted him since I asked about his feet. Lol. Honestly, why should I care? He used those damn things to walk away from me! I just needed other peoples opinions and views on this. But I have noticed this behavior from him for months now. Hmmm...

[brickwork]

Ah girls I'm in the same position! And what you say totally makes sense. To be honest I've had so many short spells of NC and none of them have lasted...but I know this is something that I'll just have to let play out...already I care about him a lot less than I did, but letting go is hard. And he doesn't care.

Anyway losing a lover is often like a grieving process - it's not a smooth ride and it takes time...

[Asker]

It really is! It's also like a drug. Like when we say, I haven't contacted him in 10 days, or 15 days. Like a drug, we treat these situations very similar. I just don't want to appear like an idiot to him because I obviously was very happy that he was responding to me. I mean, what knid of person does that to someone they once cared about? I don't get it.

[Opinion Owner]

Girls! lol :) Of course its hard...Im on 1 month already and have been tempted to break down...but I look at it this way- If I text 1)he won't reply and then ill feel like an idiot for even trying to reach out 2)he'll be a jerk and say to leave him alone or 3)his new girlfriend can call you or text you to tell you to stop being a pain in the ass! just think worst case scenarion and it will help you not do it. Also, text or call friends...I do this all the time. I pretend I text him and they reply back

[Asker]

Yep Anon I totally relapsed...because he responded. And of course, I feel like an idiot because he's gonne cold again. It's such a mindf***!. I know him and he knows in how I responded, all happy, that I'm not over him. He makes me weak, it's crazy. No other exes made me feel this way.

[Opinion Owner]

Seriously girl...Dont reply treat him the same way he treats you... I know I know...you don't want to treat him like crap in hopes that he "might" actually want a relationship again right? WRONG! or you don't want to push him away right? WRONG AGAIN! These thoughts are more hurtful because we both know that in the begining he had no problem telling you how he felt or that he wanted to be with you and now he's being coy about it? If he luvs you he wouldn't lead you on, he would be with you! PERIO

[lovelylife]

He was.just being friendly, don't think to.much into it. It hurts but you have to move on. Focus your attention on other things. If he wants to communicate with you he will.

[Asker]

I know..I tend to overanalyze with him. I was just surprised that he even talked to me because I took the break up hard. I was on an emotional rollercoaster with him. I just didn't think he would even wanna talk to me after that. Just a bit curious.

[mssexy]

Hi I'm your Anonymous User...lol, see below you even said it. You took the break up hard and he knows it. So to not add any alcohol to your wound so to speak, he was nice in replying. I'm sorry honey...because I know how you feel but I just wish people had been more honest instead of saying "oh yeah he still cares" when he doesn't at all. ya know? Good luck!

[lovelylife]

We all tend to over analyze things when it comes to men. There comes a time that it hits us like a brick, that's when you realize it has to stop. Its something that you have to go through, and when its done you will be better then you ever were. Your going to be fine just focus on yourself. Do what makes you happy.

[Asker]

I agree! I just wish I was stronger a year ago...I feel like I humiliated myself for a whole year over this dude. I mean, WTF?

[Anonymous]

As the female Anon poster referenced, guys are very simple creatures. We don't play mind games and we don't have ulterior motives. After a month of no contact he's already moved on quite a bit, if not completely.

Why did he reply? Perhaps he was just bored and saw this as an opportunity to pass the time. Perhaps he was just trying to be polite. Perhaps for a few minutes he actually did miss you and wanted to talk with you. Whatever the case, it doesn't mean he's falling back in love with you.

He then didn't reply because you're not a top priority. Either he was busy or just couldn't be bothered.

[Asker]

Thanks for your comment. If I were in a different place emotionally, I would't have even cared about him reaching the top of the mountain. Maybe the high altitude got to him? I have to poke fun at this because this is really how I need to handle this now. I shouldn't care anymore.

[mssexy]

Im "Anon" And I completely agree. I do that at times. I text people back out of boredom or sometimes out of simple courtesy and wish they would stop texting and when they don't I just don't reply...Your just not his #1 priority...He lost interest, period. Sucks to hear but its easier to tell you than to sugar coat it.

[Asker]

Yes it does...what sucks is that he's gone gone cold again, and I'm left feeling like a complete idiot. :/