Straight up Jerry Springer?

[Anonymous]

So I had a break up with my ex fiancee, a little over a year ago we got engaged and she joined the army moving out of state leaving me to care for her kids for about a year before we could move out to the state she was stationed in. While being separate I used my life savings to renovate her house she was supposed to be selling. Which she ended up renting instea Then moving her kids and the rest of the stuff out halfway across the country I found that out relationship had changed being a supportive partner and her claiming stress for the change I accepted it and gave her the space she needed. Even though while I was caring for her children at my expense she had spent the time exploring and having a active life. We then ended up purchasing a property together that after many complaints on her part about doing a 50/50 ownership on the property on her part ended up doing it at the constant advice of the realtor. At the time I found it strange she didn't want my name on the property but I didn't care I was in love and ignorant of the changes happing. After the purchace our relationship became distant on her part as she pulled away and asked me to move into a other room claiming my snoring wasn't allowing her to sleep and I obliged for her sake fast forward 6 months and she breaks up with me after leaving for a month and half on a military training and tells me she wants to be friends and wants me to still care for the kids she is going over seas for a few years. By accident I found out she left me for her previous subordinate who was recently kicked out for cocaine and attempted suicide. Now she wants me to surrender the shared property and never talk to her again... I have the opportunity to force a sale of the property divide it or sell it to our tenents for cheap who have possession of the property... or I could submit to pennies on the dollar and give up everything what would you do in my shoes? Also I could end her career over framtinezation with a subordinate

Updates

+1 y

Mind you kids are still friendly to me
And half of the property value is higher than my life savings the property has been paid off with her life savings

[sejla]

What she is suggesting is abandonment of her children. I would think that would give you some leverage in your financial situation. I think you need to consult with a lawyer. To leave the kids with you long term should have been a legal situation in the first place since you weren't married.

Talk to the lawyer and see where you stand and what your rights are in the situation. You should at least get what you put into the house. Not sure if you can get back the money you spent on the kids. If you don't want to keep the kids they probably would be better going into foster care with another relative.

Now you learned a rough lesson. Go get therapy to help you set boundaries. Kind people have a harder time setting boundaries and it just takes more practice. It's easier to be an asshole in life but that's not the personality you were born with. You just need to develop a bit of crispy shell on the outside to fend these kind of people off.

Post Note: She's just damn lucky you are a good guy and you treated her kids well otherwise she could have ended up on the nightly news for neglect and possible jail time.

[Asker]

Well I had a power of attorney for the kids and I don't have any legal rights to them or I would take them... But thier older brother is currently in the works of getting custody I hope it pans out.. well technically I could also end her career with the military also which could also result in jail time due to her being a high ranking officer who was sleeping with her Sargent

[stevemeh]

Call child protection services. Watch her fucking spring into action when she realizes her kids aren't in the house you wasted your money on

[sejla]

@stevemeh This woman is a piece of something. If CPS comes in she could lose custody permanently because they are going to want reconciliation or a family adoption. She could only leave the kids with the biological father at this point if she was going to go overseas. You really need to talk to a lawyer. Most lawyers would do an initial consult for $200 to let you know what you are up against and what it would cost to move forward.

To be honest if the kids were with you more than 6 months you could have filed them on your taxes as dependents and if she did it would fraud.

[stevemeh]

That sounds like a seriously weak and shitty way of hurting her bottom line which is her wallet, and her pride.

If her kids ended up in the system cause their mom was stupid enough to leave them with a guy she broke up with, then why bother worrying about the legal ramifications that would befall on her? Go ahead and waste $200, more money being sunk by her to punish her more gently.

[Asker]

I'm not looking to hurt the kids in anyway

[stevemeh]

Sell the property to the nastiest people you can find on the internet at the above asking price to recover your life savings. That dumbshit of a woman can't legally contest it and would leave her stuck with a problem she might not be able to fix.

[Asker]

I have considered selling it to the tenents for pittance it would give them free living for the rest of their lives

[stevemeh]

But I gotta ask, why sink into life savings for a house that some woman is gonna screw you out of? And why not sell it to somebody for a lot more? Seems like you need to seriously become mgtow. Why not become as mgtow as possible and not care what she wants anymore? And what about the kids? That's her problem not yours. If anything they will hate her for screwi g you over once they realize the shady shit she has done

[Asker]

Mgtow?

[stevemeh]

Yes, it might come off as hateful at first but then you will see why it's a good thing for all men to go mgtow. You will see how wonderful it is to not be suppressed by women and have the things they desire but never get cause you will hoard as much of it for yourself ( meaning wealth ).

Go on duckduckgo. com or on youtube ( if the shithead Susan wojcicki hasn't gone on a drunken censor spree in the name of feminism ) and look up mgtow or the values of mgtow. My will see the true nature of a woman as she lies about what mgtow is which is men going the own way.

[sejla]

If a lawyer says you can legally sell it don't sell it low. Get what you can get for it. At this point you have to protect your future. I know you are connected with the kids but honestly I think you could drop the kids off with the brother right now. If you want to stay connected you can still visit them daily or weekly to be a stable person in their lives.

And go get a therapist. This would drive anyone up a tree.

Most of us have at least one big learning experience when it comes to relationship. Thank god you didn't marry her then you'd be in a hot mess. You don't live in a state where if you mingle stuff you are common law married. In Texas if you mingle financials and live together more than 6 months you can be considered married.

[sejla]

I think he came across one bad apple. I don't think he has to swear off all woman but he needs to set boundaries that he won't allow his future partner to cross in the future.

[Asker]

I can't visit the kids due to leaving state and they are not mine biologically
I agree I need to set boundaries though

[Iron_Man]

Wow dude sorry to hear this

[Asker]

Thanks I couldn't imagine a crazier situation to be stuck in

[Iron_Man]

You are welcome

[Iron_Man]

Thanks for most Helpful Award

[Anonymous]

Throw the kitchen sink at her