If your partner cheated on you, would that give you freedom to cheat back on them?

Question

I'd just break up to be honest.

Ozanne · Accepted Answer

People who do this have learned nothing about relationship skills. If cheating is that serious of an offense to someone - which it is for just about everyone - you should either be grown-up enough to ride off into the sunset and find someone better, or else hunker down and get past it together to work on your relationship.

This mentality to even the score does NOTHING. You're still left with hurt feelings, no trust (now from both sides), and new reasons to hate each other. All this is, is revenge upon a breakup. So if that's the case, will you be so proud of yourself to do this? Acting no better than the person who caused the hurt in the first place makes you just as deceitful - and vengeful. People involved in adult-situations, should act like adults when faced with problems like this. Have some respect for yourself and either solve the problem or remove yourself from it.

(By "you", I mean in a general sense, not directed personally at you, @jean-marie_celine.)

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

No because then you would be as bad as they are.

The last guy I dated cheated on me. I was furious, hurt, and disgusted. But did I want to cheat back on him? Nope. I was too upset that he had done that to me to even consider getting "revenge." So I ended things.

Sleeping with another person won't make things right, or make you feel better.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

No it doesn't give rights but it may feel like that is fair. That's a childish game. I know someone years ago who did that and it doesn't turn out any better. As the Bible says, the wages of "sin" is death. Guess who got killed in that case... an innocent unborn human whose chance to walk the earth ended with a knife to the neck just because of her sense of shame. For reference, this is a woman I knew in martial arts class and was "buddies" with who decided to hook up with a guy (wasn't me).

Folks... stuff goes wrong. Stop hurting your partners and try to work your stuff out or leave.

didn't you you cheat on her though?

hahahmm · Accepted Answer

Wrong question. Let's say a relationship is like a dish of food. So you have this nice plate of food that you were going to share with your partner & they spit in it. Asking if you can spit in it is pointless because it ignores the purpose of the relationship. Without commitment/loyalty you don't have a serious relationship. You might think you do but the cheater doesn't think so. Best thing to do is to agree that the relationship is dead and ignore it when the cheater says it was an accident.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If you cheat on her in retaliation, now you are both cheaters. I don't see how that is better, and it is horribly unfair to use the other girl just to get revenge on your partner.

Mishan97 · Answer

Same I’d just break up. I’ve been there done that. I suspected my ex was cheating so I cheated on him and it didn’t make me feel any better when I found out for sure that he’d cheated. In fact it made me feel worse because I felt then that I had no right to be angry/sad but I still felt upset. So on top of feeling upset I also felt guilty about feeling upset. And then it also gave me an excuse to stay with him cause I thought “oh well we’re even”, when looking back, I realize I would’ve been much happier had I just left. And I honestly think if I hadn’t cheated too I would’ve left as soon as I found out about his infidelity. So from that experience I’ve learned that on my end I will be loyal so that in my mind I know that I did my best to make the relationship work. But as soon as my partner cheats I’m out.

Miristheiss · Answer

"Freedom"?

If my partner cheated and betrayed me I would end the relationship immediately and they would be dead to me so I am free to do anything I want at that point.

The way you word it sort of insinuates the relationship is going to continue...
What? Why would anyone stay in a relationship with a cheater? That is insane and so pathetic and weak.

Apope16 · Answer

No. Each person is responsible for maintaining their own honor and for their own actions. A lover's indiscretion should never be license for your dishonor. Your revenge is their guilt. Do not minimize their guilt by making resentments equal. Let them suffer. Be the person they see in high esteem.

rjroy3 · Answer

As an unmarried guy with no kids I'd just breakup. No need to get them back. If I were married with kids then I'd try to fix things. Part of fixing things "might" involve me sleeping with someone else and them knowing about it.

I've never been in that position so I don't know, but as I consider the idea I might take that route

Anonymous · Answer

It would be over between us I’m not gonna waste my time staying with someone who not only hurt me but disrespected me and our relationship the very moment they chose to stick their d*** where the sun don’t shine sleeping with someone else to get back at them isn’t going to change what happened

Unit1 · Answer

nah, i'll just downgrade her to friends-with-benefits and drill as many pussies as I want until I find a normal girlfriend material to commit to. Cuckolds and simps (sycophants) are a disgrace to the male gender.

DiegoO · Answer

I cheated on my ex LD girlfriend, online. About 1 year later, she cheated on
me, for revenge. I couldn't say anything. The only thing I question was her maturity, and I was right. It wasn't mature for me to cheat on her, but, I thought she was much more mature than what she showed with the time.

locutus9999 · Answer

If my partner cheat on me... that will be all... no revenge or nothing... she may find her stuff in my door whit a tender note inviting her to go to a much warm place in Christian mythology. No conctact whats or ever after that... not reconciliation. I have a tender heart so I will have to cut any chance I may forgive.

JackSmy · Answer

Nope! If I knew, for a fact, she cheated, we are DONE!! Her shit, out on the front lawn of my house, the locks changed, and FUCK OFF YOU SLUT!!
No questions, no 'Second Chance' to cheat again!! Just out!!
Not even dating her girlfriends, as they all talk!

JayisI · Answer

I mean... Yes and no i dont want to say go ruin your relationship but sometimes the other person thinks its ok to do that since they did it to you. But at the end of the day trust and respect are lost.

CurlyGirl42 · Answer

No.. the worst part about cheating for me will be that they betrayed my trust. All men I will end up in a relationship would know I am even considering the option of an open relationship, so they should talk to me before they end up kissing/fucking someone else. Both parts cheating is not an open trusting relationship.

Finchie40 · Answer

That’s pretty much what would happen like a revenge thing or the cheater will cheat again, why it’s best to just end it and find someone that wouldn’t cheat and value you

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

No. I'd just want to break up with them and find a different person instead. There's no point in cheating since you'll leave them at the end for cheating.

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

It happened, it was my “FIRST” and I dropped his ass SO quickly it made his AND my heads spin!

electromagnetic · Answer

Nope. Why would I waste my time with someone who’s clearly unfaithful when I can be doing other things?

Bee-Hatch · Answer

It doesn't make sense to introduce revenge measures into relationships. That kind of activities very unhealthy and doesn't solve anything.

Kaamraj · Answer

It would not give you the moral grounds to cheat and the smart thing to do would be to break up. However I would cheat back, because I'm a vindictive person.

EmmaMary · Answer

No, it would simply give me the opportunity to have divorce papers drawn up and issued.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

I wouldn't be able to cheat like that. It would hurt me more than it would hurt them, honestly. I would most likely just leave them.

WesBrewer · Answer

No, it doesn't, just because they did something wrong to you doesn't mean you can do something wrong to them, just break up.

Wiredone · Answer

No. Then you will be stepping down to their level. I'd take the high road. If it only happened once and they said it would never happen again I would forgive her. If she did it again it would be over between us.

paigelizzy · Answer

You can’t fight fire with fire. Just leave them. Clearly they didn’t see your worth.

Poppykate · Answer

The relationship starts to become really dysfunctional at that point.

preciouslove744 · Answer

I can never cheat on my partner and when he cheat I will check if it's my fault that makes him cheat because sometimes we ladies pushes our men to cheat

Floppy2112 · Answer

Once a cheater always a cheater... The End. I have never found a situation where this is not true, never not one exception.

TheorionMage · Answer

If you're BOTH 'cheating' is this NOT devolved into an undeclared 'open' relationship?

IAMNathanael · Answer

Two wrongs don't make a right and I'm not stooping to that level. So no.

snowboarder720 · Answer

No, if they cheat on me I break it off. That’s a deal breaker.

AlexanderAnttila · Answer

Now why would I be such a hypocrite as to engage in the very same disgusting activity that I would condemn my girlfriend/wife for?

bolverk · Answer

It could, but I'll Guarantee that as soon as you do cheat the girlfriend will act as the injured party, so best separate immediately and save yourself the grief.

iFarted · Answer

It's not a good excuse to cheat. There's never a good excuse to cheat. If 1 person in the relationship did the other wrong like that then they need to figure it out... talk it out and if the one who got cheated on can't let it go then break up and move on.

StarryCrossing · Answer

I wouldn’t stoop to their level. I’d just leave. Lol

Starrt · Answer

That's the baddest way to put a final point to the relationship. The person who cheated already seem dumb for doing that but doing the same for "giving a lesson" doesn't make sense to me... Looking miserable as well? no thanks

JosyJosy · Answer

I mean, yes, but why would you? Why go as low as the cheater? Just break up, much easier

boggboss · Answer

No it would just further dhow why the relationship is a joke

Kiss_Me · Answer

So... you are asking if your partner did a low character, immoral, unethical act, should you have the freedom to do the same thing? Really?

Just kick them to the curb so fast they bounce and move on with your life.

kamalravi25 · Answer

First you should confront her. If she does it again then you should leave her. And then you are free to find someone new.

Virginmartha · Answer

I dated this guy once. He cheated on me 18 times in three days.. I decided to get back at him by sleeping with his best friend... which was his dad. In the end me and him fell in love and now his dad is my brother in-law.

FlyGirl95 · Answer

No. Cheating is a lack of integrity in yourself as a trust worthy person. Don't cheat unless it is consenting. History will always repeat itself. If you don’t like someone cheating on you then leave.

douride2 · Answer

If my partner cheated on me he would be out on the street before he could try to apoligise.

Junibeans · Answer

No, it does not. It does however, give you the freedom to end the relationship, and find someone else. Getting even by "cheating ", will drive a bigger wedge between you two, and the end to that kind of relationship with always be a nasty breakup. Leave the bigger person... it will make your next relationships.

milettescheepers · Answer

Your boyfriend must see for himself if he could be better off with someone else and i he does that to you, i promise you someone else would apprciate u much more

ThatQuietLass · Answer

Just break up. Nothing is of less value than a cheater.

Sagittarius_1204 · Answer

I'm a Sagittarius so what you do to me I will do to you but If I already was then it's fine cause I would told him what I did and then break up cause he was dumb enough for me to find out. If he did I'm to be heartbroken and leave in a petty way.

Anonymous · Answer

I suppose for some it might ease the guilt, but I suspect it’d be the end.

Wowboi · Answer

It wouldn't give you the freedom. You already own it but what it gives you is enough reason to kick them out of your life

Rohan-Thanekar · Answer

We are not cheap like them. If someone is doing something bad that doesn't mean we should also do the same. I would keep my respect and walk away. That's it.

nevernevernever · Answer

doing a wrong to someone else to be spiteful is just as wrong whether they did it to you first or not

SonOfApollo · Answer

I say no. If my partner cheated on me, I'd forgive them, but if they cheated again, I'd probably break up with them.

bigmarty36 · Answer

Not at all I would be gone bags packed gone no going back from this how would me cheating make me feel better just for revenge people different but personally goodnight and god bless she be told. I be gone

Snakeyes7 · Answer

That sounds like too much work. I'd just break up with them.

Citizenkirk · Answer

No that would give me the freedom to say never see you I hate to be you smell you never. In other words, hit the bricks skank, we're through!

proteus912 · Answer

No. I believe in the saying two wrongs don't make a right

jimmy2 · Answer

Its a matter of clear communication and forgivness and a personal choice to move forward in love or call it quits

McKellar · Answer

And go down on that same level as your partner is? You cheat back, and you are no better than your partner who cheated on you first. Plus that's just adding more fuel into the fire. That's just creating more drama than there already is.

duygusuzkiz · Answer

What difference will remain if you cheat too? Breaking up is the best thing you could do

Anonymous · Answer

If I was cheated on that would be the end. Not going to cheat to get even as two wrongs don’t make a right. I’d never cheat anyway. My partner would be gone no discussion.

dictator97 · Answer

Sure, but you'll be same piece of shit as your partner.

Madladd · Answer

That would only give me the right to insult her and move on.

If your partner cheated on you, would that give you freedom to cheat back on them?

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