Woke up and he won’t give me my spare house key back?

[WinCx3d]

I broke up with my boyfriend and asked for the key back he keeps asking to come over to talk instead

[OlderAndWiser]

Take all of the locks off of the exterior doors, have someone remain at home while you take the locks to a locksmith, and have the locks rekeyed. This is a relatively inexpensive means of changing the locks on the house and then you can stop worrying about getting the key back from your ex.

[CrazyGirl2]

At Lowe’s a cheap deadbolt is LESS than $9.00 there’s no way a locksmith will charge less than that to re-pin a lock and cut two keys… surely?

[OlderAndWiser]

@CrazyGirl2 "a cheap deadbolt is LESS than $9.00"

1. Cheap locks are not the best locks. A lock is not something where you should sacrifice quality to save a few dollars.

2. If she is in rental property, she needs to leave the same locks on the doors when she vacates the premises.

[CrazyGirl2]

1) So, I’m a girl and I could switch out a deadbolt in 2 minutes. It’s just two Phillips head screws.
2) she is trying to keep her ex out not the mafia!
3) you have NO idea what is in her lease, so that last argument is silly. But even IF it says that… THEN SHE CAN CHANGE IT BACK (as previously mentioned it takes about 2 minutes!

[CrazyGirl2]

@OlderAndWiser. Oh and “cheap deadbolts are not the best”. What on earth makes you think she has “THE BEST” deadbolts on there now? It’s rental property (as in the owner will not live there) why invest hundreds per “high security” lock, for a property where he doesn’t care about the contents?

[OlderAndWiser]

@CrazyGirl2 Obviously, you are correct with absolutely everything that you said. Good day.

[CrazyGirl2]

Very unexpected, I thank you sir!

[Hyaz11t]

Lock Smith's come to your house to do that , tell the partner have a night out then when he /she returns oh lock out

[BlackBeauty90]

Very simple. You can either go over there, hope all goes well, and get your key back hoping there are not a half dozen copies floating around among his friends.

Or you can tell him to keep it, don't go over there, get your locks changed/have the landlord change them asap, and then tell him to bring the key over and be strict. Make it very clear you are not comfortable with him keeping your house key. If he still goofs off well he's definitely not worth keeping.

[BlackBeauty90]

@WinCx3d - I read a few of your responses.
a) Your landlord is not some demon. Phone them, tell them the situation explain you fear for your life & have them change the locks. Or tell them you'll get a locksmith & add the fees to your rent. Very simple.
b) you're breaking up with him. Could it not be any simpler? He took your key to get a copy? Use your brain.

[thimmslicc]

I tried giving back his keys when we broke up. But he asked me back so I feel like he dont ask I won't give it back.

You should definitely ask for it back. And also change the locks.

[abc3643]

Let him come over and talk, but get the key. If he refuses to give you the key, then tell him that he has 1 hour to get that key in your possession or you will call the police.
(This works, believe me. My roommates held my stuff hostage until I threatened to get the police involved. Miraculously, I got everything back!)

That said, change the lock anyway since he could have made a copy.

Get this asshole out of your life.

[The_Maphio]

Change the locks as soon as you can. As soon as the couple breaks, he's not a part of the household anymore. If he refuses to give the keys back, that'd make him a potential trespasser, plus that kind of behaviour could bring to an amount of potential events, some of which not too pleasant. Try to convince to give the key back once more, if he doesn't, change the locks.

Of course, talk with him before anything, though. It might all be a huge misunderstanding, too.

[Xitomyth]

You got a few options, you can talk to him (get the key first so you can run if things go south...), you can change your locks, you can demand the key back and threaten to call the cops, you can invite him over with the key and hear him out. Your choice. Either way, I suggest changing your locks just in case he copied it and goes nuts... He may just be looking to apologize or just get some closure from the relationship...

[invalid1]

Imagine calculating how soon you think you should stop living and this question pops up in your phone notifications. Lol.
Well thanks for the invite... Well fuck 'em, why doesn't he give the spare house key!! As most helpers said, change the lock ASAP.

[kkirk4442]

Change your locks. He is disrespecting you by not giving your key back. He has no right to keep the key after you break up. Considering that is being difficult about this, even if he gives the key back, he may have made a duplicate to keep. Again, change the locks.

[ohshee]

Change your locks don't fight with him. That's what he wants anyway to get your attention as what he wants anyway to be involved with you that's what you want to either piss you off or to piss you off be smarter change the locks don't say a word

[WinCx3d]

It’s my landlords house i can’t just change the locks

[ohshee]

I would bet you that he has other sets of locks and he would be happy to change it for you if you heard your story

[crmoore]

Ask your landlord if he can change the locks (this is the safest and least-confrontational way), or call the cops and have them retrieve it for you (you may need to go with them), or tell him (as politely and kindly as you possibly can, you don't want to piss him off) that if he doesn't return the key to you then you will call the cops.

But again, the first option is the best option.

[DJB72]

Change the locks even if he does return it. Getting a copy cut isn't rocket science and if he didn't return it straight away when you asked for it I wouldn't be inclined to keep the same locks in place.

[Anonymous]

Tell the landlord your situation. Tell them it's regarding your safety. You'll need those locks changed. Confronting your boyfriend especially at HIS place is just dangerous. Thats how things can go bad quick.

[CrazyGirl2]

Just change the damned lock! Be done with him! Jeez, it shouldn’t take a Brian surgeon to figure THAT out!

[CrazyGirl2]

Oh! As for the whole “landlord situation” you have a right to feel safe in your own home! If your landlord refuses to change your lock, you change it, and mail him/her a copy of the key with your rent check! They only need the key for emergency situations. If he/she won’t change it, do it yourself!

[CrazyGirl2]

I’d LOVE to know what man gave this a thumbs down! A cheap deadbolt at Lowe’s is $8.90 and at Walmart they have one for $9.89. There is literally no reason why she can’t get a new lock!

[loveslongnails]

Change the locks, send him the bill with a note saying " If I want to talk to you ever again, I'll let you know. Keep the key, it's as useless as whatever you want to tell me".
LOL There you go!

[WinCx3d]

It’s not my house I’m renting it my landlord gave me two keys

[loveslongnails]

Even better. Call the landlord and tell him your ex stole one of your keys and won't return it, so you fear for your safety and need the locks changed. If he refuses, do it yourself and deduct it from the rent and tell your landlord to screw off for not being concerned about your safety.

[Walamagicc]

He’s doing it so u can keep contacting him. It’s a way for him to have leverage over you and as a tactic to blackmail u.

[crazyish]

He wants an excuse for you to keep contacting him and hopefully for you guys to talk. I would just change the locks hun so you can be done with it all.

[Andres77]

Change the locks.
He could give you the key he has but there's no guarantee that he hasn't already made another copy.
He might even have put cameras hidden in your place.
$100, buy a new lock and have it installed.

[Andres77]

Get a restraining order.
Report it to the police.
If they do nothing then call 911 and state everything calmly and clearly to the operator. That call will become public record and you can always refer to it later if he ever tries to break in.
When you're home put extra stuff in front of door.

[PeacefulRainDrop]

Change your locks but you should talk to him to give him closure

[dudeinohio]

Go over there, but bring the police with to recover your property... OR call your property manager (if you are renting) and explain the situation... they can rekey your locks.

[collie22]

if all trys fail you could change the lock if you can do it. i changed the the knob on my bedroom door to a locking knob it wasn't very hard at all you could probably do that on your front door too.

[Browneye57]

So, you two never were able to TALK?
It does sound like it's over. He has YOUR key? So you let a guy move in with you?
For gods sakes, here we go.

[Dragonpurple]

Need to change the lock. This is why I like keypad locks, I just change the code.

[WinCx3d]

It’s my landlords house and he gave me two keys i just can’t change the locks

[Dragonpurple]

I suspected as much, need to have a chat about it with your land lord, cause even if he gives it back by now he could have his own copy anyways.

[BlackBeauty90]

@WinCx3d - then chat with your landlord as soon as possible. No different than if you were calling a locksmith for your own house

[MikeTheBartender]

Change the locks. And for the next boyfriend use what I use, a code pad lock. That way they never get a key you just change the code when they leave.

[Anon621]

I think you should definitely have your locks changed as well as your keys for safety purposes.