My ex took me to a really nice hotel to say goodbye, should I feel guilty for wanting to date?

[girlnow1]

We’ve been broken up for a year now but it’s never been longer than a month without seeing each other. He left because he told me he needed to get his life together be a better man and he hoped to marry me. He thought I’d end up cheating because he was self destructive. To an extent it’s true the grass started looking greener on the other side and I think he saw that so I regret my actions there.
Every 2-3 weeks I’d see him, it’s been an emotional rollercoaster and I’ve built up pain from the no commitment, and I was reliving the breakup and separation over and over.
Recently we met up again after a 3 month period, the longest we’ve gone and again it’s all play happy families.
I’ve reached a point where now I feel insecure and like am I just someone he says he hopes for a future but really he doesn’t see me as wife material. I don’t know what he gets up to when he’s not with me.
2 days after we’d already said goodbye again, he called me and said he’s got a beautiful villa for us his friend gave him half price and it’s the perfect way to say goodbye and I wanted to say no but he still has a hold on me so I ended up going. I was also his first relationship and first love.
I was happy but hurting at the same time. He said because before he didn’t have money to treat me, he wanted to have the opportunity to treat me before we part ways.
I get it but at the same time I’m giving him my body everything all to say goodbye. What am I supposed to do? Be loyal and wait on someone who may not be with me in the future, there is no promise it’s impossible to predict the future. However I now feel obliged not to date etc.

I met someone now who wants to date me, he’s really handsome, I admire and respect him. If my ex found out he’d be upset, he’d feel hurt if I was dating now because he’d think after what I just did for you and use it against me.
This breakup has been heavy and the situation has been confusing. I don’t know how to handle or view this

[exitseven]

This is a mess. You cannot have one foot in a relationship and the other foot out. You have to tell him either he is all in or all out. Then you have to be strong enough to move on with your life.
I know how this feels. I broke off a long term relationship but before I said goodbye I sort of left the door open just in case I changed my mind. I got weak at the end I guess. Afterwards I decided I did the right thing and never contacted her again.

[girlnow1]

Thank you. I think he’s kept the door open because we didn’t have a “bad ending” but now it really is messy with where we are. I guess I have to shut the door and ignore the gesture etc because it means nothing if he’s not all in, it’s just adding to confusion

[ItsTheNephilim]

It could be a way to get you back by putting so much effort. If you are feeling so guilty about it, stop meeting him. Otherwise he'll continue to do so.

[boggboss]

Because u keep pretending like your together even tho you are broken up stop being wishy washy move on from your ex

[girlnow1]

Yes.. think this is what I need to do. He always acts like we’re together though as if he is oblivious and when he leaves I then feel the weight of reality fall on me.
Do you think I’d be in the wrong to start dating, knowing how he feels he hopes for a future one day

[boggboss]

If he hopes for a future he should have stayed with u he can't have the best of both worlds of being single and having u wait for him

[girlnow1]

Thank you 🙏🏽