If a guy says he's 'hanging in there' is he over the break up?

[Misskris05]

My boyfriend of two years and I broke up on November 13th. After a month of silence we finally talked. When I asked him how he was doing he said:

I'm hanging in there. Really just been spending more time at home and working. Holidays have been good for keeping me busy.

Does hanging in there mean he's over the break up or he's just trying to keep himself distracted?

[Ram0n83]

Like @mark000h said: he's coping with it as best as he can. Since he doesn't have you, he's focusing more on work to take up time that he used to spend doing things in the relationship.

[Misskris05]

So will it hit more after the holidays and life calms down? He has been pretty busy most weekends since the break up

[Ram0n83]

I don't know.

But it sounds like you want him back. If you do, you're better off talking with him and trying to work things out, not playing games.

[Misskris05]

Unfortunately the problem we had there is no getting back together. I talked to him about getting his stuff back but he wants to wait until after Christmas which makes no sense when it's been over a month.

[Ram0n83]

Him leaving his stuff could have a couple of implications. My ex did it to me. And interestingly, it led to me creating this account and trying to find some possible reasons why.

The holidays are a peak season for a lot of industries. He could legitimately be busy and plan to stop by after the first of the new year. Alternatively, if it's not a lot of stuff, you could pack it, take it to his residence, set it in front of the front door and walk away.

If he is deliberately choosing to leave it, then it leaves a reason for you two to remain connected. If this really can't work, it's probably best to end the connection.

[Misskris05]

he's a chiropractor so he said work has been busy and that he had the following week off so he would be more flexible. The thing is, I'm still working so to me, there is no difference if he came Tuesday at 7 to get his stuff or the following Tuesday at 7. My hall closet is full of his stuff and I probably have 60% of his wardrobe, a guitar, two xboxes. I thought he would have jumped at the chance to exchange

[Ram0n83]

I can only guess at his reasons. For you I can only offer some suggestions.

If it's not hurting anything where it is, then maybe give him the benefit of the doubt and wait until the second week of January. Just in case there is some holiday crunch, it will give him a reasonable opportunity to finish the season, then come get his stuff. This would also be a good time to notify him that he has until then to get it (I suggest an email or certified mail with a return receipt as a notice so that he can't claim you never warned him before taking further action).

If it needs to go now, consider finding a public storage locker. Put it in his name, move all of his stuff into it, pay for a month or two, and send him the access codes / keys. It will be out of your place, and up to him to continue paying storage fees or retrieve it.

[mark000h]

It means he's still affected but trying his best to get over it.

[Misskris05]

So he's still hurting?

[mark000h]

Maybe, mostly it's something to tell your ex to not sound like an ass. If you don't want to say how something is or isn't affecting you, you can say that.

[RichSD]

Probably means he doesn't have much going on, but he has moved on.

[Anonymous]

If you said it what would it mean? Probably the same here lol. It means he's getting by, day by day.

[Anonymous]

could also be the pandemic...