When a guy says it's over, is it really over?

[Anonymous]

Ive dated this guy for 3 years, he's amazing, and I'm head over heels. However, in those 3 years we broke up many times because of promises he couldn't keep. I told him unless he fulfills his promises it won't work out. 3 years later during our last break up he met this other girl and now they're dating. I talked to him and I apologized a million times and he keeps on saying no its over, I moved on, I don't believe you, I don't believe anything will ever change. I love him so much. Do you think its a done deal issue for him? Do you think he really means it?

[ivan5252]

i don't blame you for being torn on what to think.. it seems that on one end you want to follow you instinct and hope that determination and persistence leads you back to where you once stood.. on the other hand you're fighting what seems more and more like reality of him showing more signs of not coming back..

however from the facts here, it seems he really means it.. the reality is if it didn't work out all those times, it's probably not going to work out at all.. I don't know the details of everything you and him shared in those years but according to him, it doesn't seem to be anything special enough to keep; maybe enough to remember and nothing more.. take a few deep breaths, calm yourself for a minute.. and really, take a very broad look at everything that happened.. so he was special, but can you find someone better? remember everyone you've met.. everything u've heard about relationships.. remember that there is no rule to life, life is random.. and things more than likely happen for a reason..

also, by you pleading him to come back, you're lowering ur value to him as a person.. it's kind of tricky.. but it's kind of like the chinese finger trap; although hard to resist but the more you plea, the less likely he might come back to you.. if you want, compose yourself as much as you can, tell him honestly everything you feel, and be brief about it.. and let him go.. just as long as you say things that will help you move on..

i hope this helps..

[Asker]

Yes that does help, I just love him and Its hard because I feel a huge part of this is my fault. I asked him if he has feelings for me still and he said its not about that...I then asked if he haas feeling for her, and he said well she gives me more attention than you did. I really want to fix my mistakes, I'm going to try hard not to bother him...I know for a fact if he was in my place he wouldve done the same, because he has in fact acted the way I'm acting before

[ivan5252]

Well you know your relationship best, but again, from what u've said, it seems he's done.. just because he may still have feelings it's possible he's trying to get rid of them (hence the "it''s not about that"). keep in mind that in time all things can be fixed.. but "in time".. not instantly.. id say prepare for the worse (moving on) but hope for the best.. that is, getting him back.

[ankurunderdog]

I think he's acting like a jerk bcoz maybe some stupid ideas has been put into him by some other jerks!Dont worry accept him,love is acceptance,be friends with him.

Hang on to him and make him believe its really changed.

It depends on you though how much you can hold on,but give him ur love fully,accept him in every way, love him like hell,make him feel that no1 can love him so much and care for him to such an extent.

but yeah if after a long loving trail he still acts like this then you too move on,but do try with ur full heart and soul!

Best of luck,i really pray you both get back 2gether :)

i understand how much it hurts when ur love leaves you and you shout out in loneliness plz come back but that shout never reaches to that person.

[Anonymous]

If he stops contacting you and is seeing other people he has decided to move on and its over, he might try to hook up with you for sex, but avoid comitment and keep seeing other people