It's totally okay to dump someone for whatever reason, period. It IS your life too, and on top of that depression affects both people in the relationship. What wouldn't be okay is that you stay with her BECAUSE she has depression and you're worried how she's going to take it, because that's not fair to either of you. Not to you because you're no longer attracted/interested/in love and you would be forcing your own feelings to spare hers, and not to her because you ARE forcing your feelings when she can have someone else to have those feelings for her without faking it to make it. You both deserve happiness. The best thing you can do is tell her and assure her that you can be there for her if she ever needs help or someone to talk to, you just don't feel like you can be there romantically as well for whatever your reasons are, and that's totally okay. It's a hard spot to be in my friend, and I wish you both the best of luck. And don't feel too bad if she goes deeper in a hole, those are her demons to fight and all you can do is offer to be there for her, if that's what you wish to do.
of course it is ok, it doesn't feel good doing it but sometimes it will end up helping the depressed person and in the end, you really have to look after yourself.
I had a very depressed girlfriend when I was 18-19, I am an empath and I fought hard to "fix" her and be a constant in her life when she battled with depression, eating disorders and delusional behaviour. As she started to recover, a genuine recovery, one of the first things she did was discard me. It left quite an impact on me as a young guy.
In later relationships, I knew I HAD to do things differently, it isn't easy but the relief is huge.
If it makes you unhappy, you don't have to share her burden. It is alright to do anything that can ensure your mental health and to keep yourself safe. If you are feeling that you want to break up with her, you should. You don't love her. Both of you should be with someone you can truly love.
Yes! People with severe mental illnesses are draining I always say, that you should stay away and don't even start a relationship with someone like that and people with severe mental illneses should be getting help, working on healing as far as possible and getting okay first
I understand your concern, but yes, it's okay. And I say this as someone with depression. You can't allow their condition to rule your life. If you stay in a relationship that you don't want, then it's going to start to become obvious to everyone. You will start annoying each other and getting into arguments. That's not a good relationship, it's better to get out. Now obviously, try to do it gently as I hope you would in any situation.
It's kinda mean if you just ditch them and don't talk to them again after that, but it is a valid reason to dump someone. At least let her off easy so she doesn't "off" herself.
Hurting yourself or making yourself suffer to keep someone else from getting hurt or suffering just makes the whole situation much worse than it needs to be.
Are you asking if you are morally obligated to be her boyfriend? I mean, think about how that sounds for a second. Also, ask yourself if you think it's good for her to have a boyfriend who doesn't want to be her boyfriend.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
1 y
It would be sad but you have to think of your own mental state. It is hard to be with someone who is mentally not strong. Be a friend though.
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Anonymous(25-29)
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