He’s changed, he makes no effort and I’m heart broken?

[Anonymous]

I’ve known this guy since my teens, and the past 5 years we have had an intensely close relationship. Due to a lot of factors in our life we could never be together, but we have been sexual, along with being best friends. We have known eachother years and years, but the past 5 have been almost relationship like, without declaring it. We would speak everyday, send photos and videos of our day, such insignificant stuff that I took for granted at the time. He would message me every morning and bedtime, we would meet and hug and hold hands, we would talk for hours and hours. Then around 5 motnhs ago something changed, he became slowly more distant, it began to be communication every couple of days, until here I am now at a point where he only speaks to me if I make contact first. We haven’t saw eachother in months and have barely spoke, he always replies usually 9/10 but his conversation just seems off. I have asked him over and over and he just says he’s busy? And that he isn’t different. Even if he replies his convaerarion is different and we don’t seem to have that connection anymore. The thing is I’m so cut up about it, I miss him and how we was sooo much, it’s hard to leave him be and get on with my life when he was such a big part of it, if he ever voiced he wanted me to leave him alone I whole heartly would, but he hasn’t, and I’m not sure what his issues are. Why isn’t he missing me like I miss him 😭 why not it not affect him that we may never speak again. I’m so hurt, and I never thought he would put me through this. He was my go too, my best friend, and now he’s like a stranger. I asked him yesterday for the final time why he doesn’t bother to call or text anymore, and he replied he’s just busy. But he’s still at the same job, and his life isn’t any different from how it was when we used to speak constantly. It’s clearly Ovbs he doesn’t want me anymore, but why won’t he tell me this and inform me on why he’s changed the way he is towards me. It hurts

[Sandeeppingping]

Either it's something related to you, or something related to another girl, or could be something related to him personally, I was that close to someone for a year and a half, then I got addicted to a few stuff and then I just stopped and became another person, I didn't feel the same way as a person like only if someone's been through it they'd understand, I was worried she'd realize I changed so I automatically backed away, by backed away I mean I never talk unless she talks, I don't make effort to see her or anyone really, didn't see her for 8 months before we saw each other again, all the while she texted me around 20 times I didn't even once, it was my own insecurity, then I stopped traveled got a girlfriend, saw her and now she hates me although I tried my best to change that, but yea you can't really know what's going on with a person, I'm busy was something I used too often

[Asker]

I find it hard for him to be completely uninterested just because he could block me or tell me to go Away if he didn’t want me arounf, but he never has. I did ask why he was distant and stopped messaging, and that he’s changed, and he just says he’s busy, but always replies when I message? But still doesn’t change the fact we won’t talk unless I make contact. Anyway. I think I’ll just leave him too it.

[Stevefiveo]

Yeah, that sucks when people who you thought you were your friend starts fading away and they don't even tell you why. My only guess is that maybe he has a new girlfriend.

[Sorrento-Sun]

I feel for you, because I was once in a similar situation, and it's heart-wrenching not knowing where you stand anymore. So I understand the pain you're going through

When people change towards you, it's either because their feelings have changed or they have things going on in their life that they aren't telling you about

When I was in this situation, I came across a quote...'when I text you first, it means I'm missing you. When I don't text you, it means I'm waiting for you to miss me' So I decided not to text this guy first anymore just to see if he'd reach out to me. After 4 days he did text me. So sometimes you have to distance yourself from some people, just to see if they notice and care about you. Because talking to him about it hasn't put your mind at ease.

[melanieeeB]

He isn't interested

[Asker]

I do think he could just tell me that though, or maybe he’s just waiting for me to get the hint 🫣

[melanieeeB]

He is probably waiting for you to get the hint