I miss my ex after being angry at him for years. What should I do?

[MilaRay]

I did love him and he broke my heart. I had no choice but to look at the situation and tell myself that if it was real, things would have worked. A long time ago he reached out to me to makeup and told me if I ever wanted to talk to him “don’t hesitate”. I ignored that and left the conversation on read. I thought I was over him but the urge to look at his social media came over me a while ago. I just wondered how he was doing. Seems like he changed, it looked genuine. Or at least when I looked at him On Facebook I thought it could have been. He was my first love and my first heartbreak. Actually he was the only man to ever break my heart. But after all these years, the only thing keeping me from reaching out is pride. I don't know if I want to see if we could work now.. that might be pushing it. But I hoped we could talk about everything we never talked about in the past. That I could genuinely forgive him and that he could see how far I’ve come and idk…maybe we could be friends. The thought of hating him isn’t real anymore. I know I just don’t hate him. And it felt like unfinished business. Now I’m having some changes in my life. I’m pretty sure tommorow I’m going to be getting fired from my job and I don’t care anymore. I’m ready to find a new path but my job was and has been for years and escape from that heartbreak. I feel like I’m ready to face him and I’m not even angry like it’s passed. I kind of want closure too. But not in a sense that I want to rekindle things or validate things. I guess I just want to start over, as just friends if possible, or just talk it out for real. He did some messed up stuff and I hated him for a while. I thought it would never go away but it has. I just don’t hate him anymore

[Bethany22]

If you can resist the urge to take the free time you have now that you lost your job to spend it with him, resist. Instead, take your free time to go to some social groups and meet new men there. It might be hard having to wait around all day until when they usually start sometime after 5 pm, but maybe just spend the day on here to help feel like you're contributing to something. You're too vulnerable at this time to have anything to do with him, and don't be like so many women that show up out of nowhere back to their old boyfriends. He will lose his motivation to keep improving if you go back to him. I know it's hard because he was your first boyfriend and it would be great if he was the best one for you, but that's what everyone else hopes as well. Just move on.

[StephanX]

It happens... probably because neiof you had the closer properly... maybe you should move on

[boggboss]

Tgats completely upto you I guess

[In_Trance]

move on