Delayed Vengence. Guys, Why do you think he changed his mind?

[Anonymous]

I did something awful. I was in a dying relationship (no sex, no cuddling just living together) and I started seeing someone new before ending my relationship.

I was with the new guy 8 months or so and he said he loved me but he found out and broke it off. To be fair, I told my current partner and lost them both.

Both of them said they forgave me and wanted to still be my friend. My first partner has been supportive and kind and even blamed himself for some of the distance but the other one has kept away which I figured is fair for the healing process. He waited a whole month and then randomly decided to tell all of our mutual friends in a group about what i did, effectively destroying a lot of my friendships and isolating me during the time I need support as well.

I don't understand. Why now? He seemed to be going about his business and avoiding me. He told me initially he wasn't telling them because he had empathy for me and he has plenty of other non shared social circles to confide in while he knows i have few im close to.

With no recent arguments on the table he just attacks me to them and then I'm viciously berated by a group of people I cared about And blocked by them like im some sort of incurable monster. I was already suffering and trying to recover. I admitted over and over how ashamed I was and that I'd never let this happen again.

What makes a guy change his mind and decide to do something so cruel? I've been nothing but friendly since it ended even though I missed him terribly and I was doing my best not to bother him too much. I'm so hurt but now I'm also very angry that he felt the need to go this far when I felt like losing him was punishment enough. What do you guys think? He seemed like he put me out of his mind so quickly before that. I don't understand this reaction at all.

[Guy13]

He felt like he was in the right and wanted to make you hurt the way he is. Sadly, it is a common uncheck reaction for guys. There is no grieving just snger, depression, self-blame, more alcohol, body hopping etc. we do not recover like women do. You all recover much quicker

[Asker]

I don't recover quickly. Not at all. I just look for activities or distractions to put it to the back of my mind but it can take me over a year sometimes to really let go of someone emotionally

[Guy13]

You never really recover if there was sex as you left a piece of yourself with him. That’s the reality of it but we just go on with life…

[bigmatt98]

Anger and embarrassment might of made him flip a switch maybe you posted something or one of your friends said something and it flew him over the edge.

[Asker]

What do you think could have caused him to feel embarassed? They got the chance to speak to eachother and the first guy told him, himself that we hadn't been together physical during the whole thing

[bigmatt98]

Being cheated on fucks with your head a lot it makes you feel embarrassed and less of a man. It doesn’t really matter what you guys did and didn’t do at the time you could of left and chose not to that’s what’s gonna screw with him. I’m not saying it’s right what he did or what you did but you asked for an explanation that’s what I come up with

[Jdjfjcjj]

He could be conflicted due to him believing getting into a new relationship will be very hard. One moment he convinced himself he can put what happened behind him, the next moment he realizes he can't.

Or could be a manipulation tactic. Ego boost to see if he could still get you back even though he didn't intend to follow through

Who knows 😃