So I dated my ex for 9 years and got engaged for 3 years, so my best friend from highschool has always been up my butt from the beginning and we had a couple flirts here and there then last year something switched for me and I wasn't getting the communication on my exs side so I got validation from my friend and he knew what he was doing telling me my ex is a douche etc. So I slept with him bc he pushed and I had feelings for him and I never sleep with anyone unless I'm very strong about u , but anyway I slept with him and was going back and forth between them to, I don't know what I was doing bc this was my first time, so i ended up being 100% honest with my ex and he was willing to work everything out but i didn't know what to do so i picked my bestfriend over my 9 years bc he was the one that has been there for me since highschool, but now im dating him and he has this impulse to blame me for what i did and he won't trust me so he took away my snap, my insta and social media in general and I've been changing my ways and changing for him bc i love him, and I don't know how i feel i feel so limited is this bad punishment for what i did? Do i deserve this? Or is this toxic and do i need to leave? We also get into arguments bc he hasn't been himself and he blame me bc he says it's not a justified answer for me to be upset bc he didn't f up.
Is this a valid punishment for cheating?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
So u cheated got with the guy u cheated with now he dont trust u because as they say if she will cheat with you she will cheat on you now he is being controlling and your asking if this is fair?
Yea is it fair, tbh my body count is 2 I've only been slept with 2 people put of my life and I've only cheated once, don't get me wrong if u cheat you'll cheat again, the guy I cheated with is a hoe big time I've known his ins and outs bc I've been his friend forever I've known who's he's been with and slept with so he is mostly likely gunna cheat on me then me cheating on him.
So u cheated on a guy thats not reliable then decided to stay with him thinking he might cheat on you why does all your choices in this story seem like bad ones sorry like I'm really not sure what you expected to happen in the best case situation
Well he kinda didn't show them at the time of this going on bc that's what people do they be nice to you then all of a sudden the flip a switch and like f u I have impulses and manipulate people hahah jokes on u for being with me
You said u have been friends with him forever and know his ins and outs so its either u knew he would be a shitty partner or clearly u didn't know him not really sure what to say as it seems u ended up with the guy u wanted to be with but now see its not fun to be with him yet stay with him everything thats happening is by your choice
Also he would wrap me up with his exs and say I don't understand why they left me or I don't understand why there being this way. And I thought it was an average guy thing like women are crazy and that's why they are what they are. But nope now I understand everything and why the women got crazy, I had 3 choices get married to a guy that had everything and be miserable, be with a guy that understands u and has been ur bestfriend for years and was his kinda side man to help him with dating butttttt he fs u up and finds out he's controlling orrrrrr be single and start all over from the beginning.
But the choice ain't final u are clearly miserable atm but you are deciding to stay with him so your current situation in on you no?
The only reason I ask is because I'm trying to work out why u would choose to be with a guy your are clearly unhappy with which pretty much is why u cheated to start with
I cheated bc my ex didn't communicate with me at all no matter how many times I communicated to him, never listened never understood Me, 9 years in our life and never knew one thing about me how crazy is that were dating in the same high school, then I cheat on my friend bc he knew me 100% he treated me like a princess, I really thought I was gunna have a great life with him and that's y I picked him, we communicated and everything we had was 100% amazing just to find out he's trying to eliminate everything for me bc I cheat which I understand but its all about him, I'm not unhappy with what we are I'm not unhappy with the things in our relationship I'm unhappy of him as a person bc I thought he was what he was.
Cheated with my friend sorry*
I didn't know what I was getting myself in to bc of the start all ik was he was a good guy nothing was his fault, he had a bad childhood, helped him get a girlfriend or whatever I knew him and how he was but I didn't know his love style how he works in a relationship if that makes sense, ik he liked sleeping around, he was looking for that right girl that made him happy, didn't know he could just take things from right underneith tou and make you feel like ur left with nothing, his true true colors
U can't claim to enjoy the relationship but not like how he treats u inside of the relationship him being controlling is part of the relationship how do u not see that
So ur saying being really controlling is part of a relationship
No being a controlling person makes him be controlling partner in the relationship its a toxic trait
So ur also saying since I cheated I deserve all this controlled relationship bc it controls me to not cheat, and it's a normal relationship if it doesn't have control, like eliminating myself from social media platforms example facebook, snap, insta so I wouldn't go astray from this relationship, eliminating people bc they turn into problems, and just having him to always lean on is a relationship. So then there is no chance for me to think or have any thought of cheating
No I didn't say any of that I said by u staying with a controlling person u are going to be in a controlling person to some degree it does seem like karma u cheating then getting into a shit relationship but equally nobody should be treated like a child or a slave in a relationship and that if u want your freedoms it's upto you to take them back
Gotcha, and thank you for staying to talk to me.
Tjats no problem look I know u are saying u are happy but your clearly ot and u know how he is acting is not normal it controlling and toxic stand up for your self or end the relationship but clearly what's happening now ain't good for u
Thank you really, and tbh I thought you were gunna be a dick but ur actually nice hahah always never judge someone :) well have an awsome year and thank you again.