Break Up & Divorce

Guys would you care if you girlfriend had cesarian scars and stretch marks my ex cared?

I am in my late 30's. I have had two kids and a stillbirth at 19 weeks. I almost bled out with my last baby in August. But I am fine now. I haven't had sex since May of last year when my exes over the hill hussy showed up at my house looking for him. I feel lighter and less like a ghost every day since dumping my ex.

I never wanted sex again when was I still living with my ex. He nagged me for it 5 - 7 times a day.

But now I would like to make love eventually. I felt alone with my marriage. I have been dating someone since I filed for divorce in October. Thanksgiving and Hanukkah was peaceful without dealing with my exes drunk antics. New guy and i have been friends since we met at a Weezer concert in the 90's. He has never seen me naked. he doesn't bug me for sex. I think my stretch marks and c section scars made my husband stray. a lot. Ex made jokes about my body even though he has put on a lot of weight. The rabbi who did our son's bris and the waiters were so grossed out by him making cringey jokes about it.

What if the new guy sees me and my old lady body freaks him out. What if sex hurts. I probably sound neurotic.

Updates
1 y
It's hard to talk about my feelings. I had to write them down during therapy. I don't like to be trashy. My sister wanted to throat punch him at the bris. But I held her off. I cried in the car or the bathroom a lot during this time.
Updates
1 y
I can talk about stuff to this guy. My parents were both
embarrassing alcoholics. So I kind of stuffed learned my negative emotions down inside. I don't like to yell it's too much energy and is trashy behavior. When I fell bad I go off and cry by myself. I had a hard time even writing how I felt about my marriage in therapy. At the bris my little sister wanted to throat punch my husband. I held her off. She did cuss him and his hussy out.
Guys would you care if you girlfriend had cesarian scars and stretch marks my ex cared?
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