Are boys normally self-destructive after a breakup?

[Anonymous]

Is it normal for a guy to be rebellious after a break up? If so, what does that mean?

I am trying to figure this out. My ex and I broke up (he broke up with me) and he immediately becomes rebellious. He gets destructive (throw things over railings, smashes things), gets a tattoo (which he kept putting it off then out of the blue immediately after we broke up-this is the second tattoo after breakup with me), and reacts unrational. I am pretty sure he loves me but self-destructs and kills the relationship because of fear. I am not so certain he did this in his previous relationships. I believe he just dated another girl a few days later. I am not an agressive person so that certainly hasn't run off on him but he has a tendency to be a rather angry and jealous person who feels the need to break up with me at the drop of a hat. This is the first alpha male I have dated so I am not quite sure what to make of this.

[Skyrccer]

Almost all of us faced some sort of rejection at various points of life. Also all of us rely on decisions and choices to go in our lives everyday. Hence we all reject things, people, situations, opportunities etc. everyday. We often ignore these numerous rejections and simply move on with life. But some rejections cause drift. As social animal we have built and idea of collectiveness and it is in our subconscious minds or say in genes. Thus getting rejected in a certain college admission hurts our self esteem. Or more severe example would be an ugly, isolating break up. We have different chromosomes in different genders hence no wonder rejection over mating and apparently reproduction causes different type of remorse in different genders.

As from sexual reproduction 101, we all know that biologically females are the choosers. Males are like specimens. They face the harshness of the environment thus they are made tougher. They acquire important information about the environment, its changes and how they survived it so far. According to that, the next generation gene sequence will be determined. Also male semen has millions of individual sperms. And an adult healthy male can practically generate numerous amount of semen every day. But females generate one egg in every menstrual cycle. What a contrast! Millions everyday and one in a month. This is how special women are.

Its a fact that most of the men are meant to get rejected. Just like most of the sperms. And what happens when they get rejected? They become a faulty product. And what you do with faulty products? You destroy them. As of an AI robot, that would be self destruction protocol. Hence, humans have that indeed. Self destructive behaviours after break up is hence not just an immature act but biological equivalent of self destruction protocol.

Now the question is, how we cure this genetic flaw, so that everyone of us can live without getting affected by rejection?

[sumina7]

He is not an alpha male. He seems to be insecure and immature. Alpha males are secure, strong and confident and in control, like a rock. You would never feel insecure around them like you are feeling with him.

[udolipixie]

Yes it's attention seeking behavior.

Ot's either self-destruct or have fun sleeping around. Since high amount of no strings sex is hard for a guy to get attention seeking is the easier option.

[Asker]

Every girlfriend he has had he told me he broke up one day and was dating another girl within a week. Apparently I am the lucky one where he just gets destructive

[udolipixie]

Girl next week shows he didn't have much time to reflect on the break up since he found another girl he liked who liked him back so easily.

Or you can tell yourself you're special & had that big of an effect on him for ego.

Whatever works

[Asker]

He "can't be alone" as he says

[udolipixie]

Yep so it's probably the stress of not finding another girl he likes & having her like him back.

^ He could like her but she doesn't like him.

^ He could not find any other girls he like. Dry spell.

[Asker]

He could easily call up one of his ex'es. He has broken up before (more times than I can count) but he has always come back. He also did this destructive behavior when we first had our big breakup.

[udolipixie]

Ex won't work hewants a girl he likes who likes him. A new one.

Exes are exes for a reason.

As for breaking up/getting bck he's just an attention seeking drama dude. That's not alpha.

[devotedlyopinionated]

Extremely normal, suicide threats, tattoos, thrusting themselves at any girl who will take them, getting drunk and destructive, normal post break up behavior.

[Asker]

Hes done the suicide threats with me but he and I both knew they were bs. I am not exactly sure why he did that though because he is not the one to show an emotional side. More alpha male and tough to the point he won't even seek help because its against his morals.

[devotedlyopinionated]

They just become really irrational without any explanation.

[cathy23]

sounds like there's something else going on here., Personally, if I had to see this guy again it would be in a public place. You should move on., Now.

[Phoenix1991]

Wow, Sorry I wouldn't know what to say about your EX. I had my heartbroken more times that I'm too ashamed to mention, but do I get super rebellious/destructive ? Nope. Not even in the slightest, I might get into a little funk but not a into a self destructive one. Usually I just move on right after she leaves, within 2 weeks I might start looking around. Of course she is in the back of my mind but not enough to destroy my optimist-ism. =) gotta keep your chin up in the single world.Though I always wondered why do my Ex's get mad at me for moving me and claiming I never loved them from the beginning if I moved on so quickly...huh...

[Asker]

Us girls always wonder how it is so easy for guys to get over us so quickly. We don't understand the "off switch" mechanism

[Phoenix1991]

im both sensitive and insensitive, men are less emotional then me. Yes we do have emotions, I just view there's no point in crying over spilled milk. I used to super emotional and then I stopped. Its like experience in a way.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. I am newly heartbroken and I've just basically gone nuts. Except she dumped me. I have been getting drunk and getting in fights and just thinks that I don't normally do. I don't care about my job, or my health or friendships I have with anyone, nothing. I punched a kid out for tailgating me the other day, I'm never like this. It's just that girl...

[Asker]

Is that the result of love or just because you are done with her?

[Opinion Owner]

Result of lost love. I've basically just lost my mind and struggle just getting through each day. When I'm drunk, I am not in pain but when I wake up in the morning I am upset. I just wish she knew really what she meant to me and how bad I've taken this. I can't cry anymore tears, I can't lose anymore sleep and I can't continue to be destructive like this. I just don't know what to do. Everyone tells me to just suck it up but no one seems to understand that's not an easy thing to do.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

feel ya bro.

[Asker]

I can sympathize as well. I am feeling the same way and I gave up and dropped everything to be with him (including losing all my friends). I can't talk to anyone but I have read a bunch of these boards, posted a few posts, and it seems to make it easier. I also try to make as much plans as I can to get away from sitting at home. If I'm home, I engage in reality TV where I see other peoples happiness and misery. Just some suggestions, they may help.

[Opinion Owner]

Ya I am still just hung up on the fact that she could come back, she could say sorry, she could see that she made a mistake. It's probably not going to happen, but I don't know why I keep hanging onto that hope.

[Asker]

She could, she probably did because you sound like a great guy. Keep yourself busy with things to occupy your mind. The time will pass by quicker until the next girl comes around!

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks man, keep your head up.

[KarKingJack]

Self-destructive people are self-destructive when things are tough. He's not doing anything strange or unusual, but its not a male or even 'alpha male' thing.

[Anonymous]

What is a 30 year old woman like you doing dating an underage boy? Because this guy sounds totally childish!

[Xx_DRE_xX]

haha, Funny thing is I did this aswell. I guess we'll do whatever it takes to get rid of the pain.

[Asker]

Pain, sure, but he broke up with me. Why is he feeling pain?

[Xx_DRE_xX]

Well unfortunately I did this after she dumped me but the answer is practically the same.

[Asker]

Oh good point as well. I can't imagine destroying anything but I do my fair share of drinking and distracting myself. It helps, just not quite sure of the smashing things part

[Xx_DRE_xX]

haha yeah exactly.

[Anonymous]

different people react differently towards breakups. this might be normal for him

[Anonymous]

Alpha Male?

[KarKingJack]

A real Alfa Romeo, know what I mean