Guys, PLEASE HELP! I need someone with legit psychological and domestic abuse experience to please help me! I have no money but can anyone help?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend hits me, calls me horrible things, cheats right in front of me with no standards. I will beg and cry for him to stop. He has slowly over time taken my car, all my money, moved me to a new city, forced me to entertain and have 3somes with him. Broken many of my things, has the house camera's. Sends pics and videos of me to other people. He calls me his slave to anyone he decides to mention me to. Immediately blames me for any inconvenience in life. What he calls our traditional arrangement where he works and i clean, and he is single but i am not.. And if i cross him in anyway he is justified to hurt me because I made him.. he has taken away my food, my phone, broken my glasses, given my jewelry to other girls, and he knows I have no family and nowhere or way to go. Oh and withheld me from funds so long I have now officially broken my probation and have probably a warrant. He has threatened my life many times. And while I am unafraid of death I would much rather be able to understand why and how his brain works so I can safely navigate to my next steps with less pain. And learn what to look for so I don't make this mistake again. PS. Please no obvious "call the cops". I'm not that dumb. Remember he goes to jail>I'm out on the streets>no $>and a warrant>i go to jail too>no family. No friends. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.>years later im back out on the streets

[Anonymous]

What should be obvious to you is that you have to get out of this situation.

It does not matter what the consequences are for leaving they are less serious than staying.

You say 'remember that him in jail or you leaving = you on the streets' I say you staying is a life or perhaps death sentance.

The pay off matrix here is extremely clear, you must leave.

You think it is dumb to goto the police but it isn't, what is dumb is staying in the situation you are in and trying to 'navigate your next steps with less pain'.

You should try to get help if not from the government then from a charity, reach out and see who can help you.

Even something as ridiculous as simply trying to trade out your cunt for another roof over your head would be a better move than staying where you can be completely certain that you are going to be abused.

Whatever you do you have to get out.

Get it into your fucking head, GET OUT NOW.

[Lynx122]

You've already given up on getting away from him and you're solution is to "navigate" his behavior. That's the reason why you're in this situation in the first place. He knows that you won't leave so he takes everything from you and now you're in a even worse situation. You can't navigate an abusive person they know they have the power. Just because you treat him even better doesn't mean he won't be abusive to you in the future. You've shown you will accept any treatment from him and still think leaving is a dumb suggestion so all you will get is more bad treatment.

[Gingerbread_GB]

If you legitimately need help, could I talk to you in private?

You are dealing with a very dangerous man, I don't think at this point there's anything you can do by yourself to lessen the harm he does to you. Even jail may be a better option. And you should know that violation of probation doesn't mean you'll automatically go back to jail. Judge look at extenuating circumstances just like in any other case. And if what you are describing is true, this is false imprisonment. It was literally impossible for you to comply with your term of probation.

[PointTaken]

You're just going to have to leave. There's nothing you can do. Whatever you do he will treat you the same. You bow down to him and give in to his demands, he will still hit you and force you. That's what he likes. You have two options. Live with it and be miserable your whole life. Or leave and you will be away from him and then you will find better. You already lost everything, leaving you will have the same with no abuse.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

You have to leave. It's your only option. Even if you go to jail it would be better than dead.

[MementoMori777]

Go to the police, if you are anywhere in miami Florida I can take care of your situation, fr fr

[pethouse]

Go to the fucking cops!! This dude has major fucking issues!! The cops may or may not be able to do something to him right away but I’m sure they can do something to protect you!!

[boggboss]

If you have nowhere to go won't contact the police I don't see what options you do have do they not have help programs for women if situation like a womens hostel otherwise not really sure what u are looking for here

[Asker]

Just advice. If I can have someone suggest what the issue could be with him, then I can anticipate and predict how to be the least noticed while saving money and making a plan

[boggboss]

He is a controlling asshole that wants you to be his slave aslong as he continues what he is doing I see no way for you to save money

[Asker]

I'm not helpless to myself but I'm not experienced in this kind of behavior. And I'm kinda tired of everyone immediately blanketing everything as "Narcissistic". Just not that simple or helpful

[boggboss]

But what advice can be given about this that can help this is one of the more extream abusive relationships I have heard u say u are not helpless but u are beaten for stepping out if line have money withheld from you and have no family or friends for support thats sounds pretty helpless

[Asker]

No as long as I "behave" he will send me money for groceries and such and doesn't check receipts. So I can stash

[boggboss]

Like I dont think there is anything in your power to stop him or change what he is doing

[boggboss]

OK so that's the plan then I guess behave and stash money until u can dip

[Asker]

Yes I've already gotten far... but his behavior is sporadic, inconsistent, and I don't want to have sex with him or his friends. I don't know what I'm even saving up for yet. New Car? And then the legal shit.

[Asker]

Like I said in my post... you're suggesting I just bite the bullet and go to jail a few years to get out and be right where I am just homeless but not abused?

[boggboss]

No im not saying to do that I have no clue what u should do as all your options seem shit just confused as to what u was asking as it seems u know this situation is shit and u shouldn't be in it but accept its better then being homeless so at that u can do nothing

[boggboss]

His behaviour would be sporadic because how he is feeling in the moment is how he would act I can see why you wouldn't want to be treated as a sex slave but if your hoping to save so u can escape again I don't see any other option

[boggboss]

See if they have homeless shelters for women with domestic violence once u have saved some money until u can get rent and job