How did you break up with your last ex? Why did you want to break up? Was it you or them who initiated it?

Question

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

OMG!!! I have a serious no shit whale of a tale to tell. 100% true, scouts honor!!!

So, I met this chick, we dated for 4 months. She went to Mexico for an entire month. The deal was I would drive her down to Baja, it would take four days, I would stay with her for 2 extra days, then leave for two weeks, then come back and spend the last week with her and drive back.

So about two days before I set to fly back to Mexico to get her, I call her about an hour earlier then we usually talk. She was acting all weird and I was what's going on. Then someone knocks at the door. It was a man, who asks her if she would go to dinner with him. She says yes, and then rush's me off the phone. She calls me back 40 minutes later to just starts talking like nothing just happened at all. She says the guy is just some dude she met two days ago, and they are just friends.

I'm like yeah, that's not cool. You were pretty disrespectful to me in the way you rushed me off the phone, not to mention you are going on dinner dates with other guys. Not old a childhood freinds, work freind or some guy she has known for years, but literally a complete stranger she met in Mexico two days ago.

Long story short its turns into a long drama feast of an argument.

- I ask her in the end, "do you want me to come back to Mexico or not?" She says,
- she responses, "if I didn't want you to come, I would say don't come.
- I say, " saying that you would don't come, is not the same as say please come."
- She answers with, "I think I answered the question, so do what you want with it."

So here is the dilemma, this chick is smok'en hot and we had an amazing trip down there together. I mean it was amazing, in the way when someone actually uses the word amazing in proper form to express the fun and greatness of it all. And the sex, OMG... wow!!! So my gut is saying no don't go, but my penis is all like, "Dude, if there is any chance of sex on the beach, you got to see this through."

So, I go back, this woman picks me up at the airport, and as we drive off, she turns into one of the biggest spazz's I have seen... she is fist pounding the dash, trying pull over at random rest stops and throwing me out of her car, I even think I saw her head actually do a complete 360 without breaking her neck. Eventually I get her to take me back to the airport, as I get ready to get out of the car...

- She says to me, "Don't leave. I want you to stay, I will behave I promise."

The first thing I do is tell my penis to shut the F@#$ up, and I look at her straight in her eyes. I mean one of those looks where you are staring deep in her eyes, and seeing the fear and anxiety that is corrupting this woman's soul like a parasitic leech...

I say to her, in monotone voice with heart less eyes, "Stay in Theory Ema, it's your only hope."

That's how m last true break up went. Has there been two others since them, but they were not real relationships and knew it from the start.

Telekinetic-Potato · Accepted Answer

It's somewhat subjective who broke up with who. She cheated on me which to me is her breaking up with me as soon as she let another man touch her. She went on a whole tangent about why he was better for her and how much better he was at listening and why he was more this or that. I told her the guy was a player and she should look for another guy if she actually left because she was unhappy with our relationship. Even though i was mad, I still didn't wish anything bad on her especially since I knew mentally she wasn't in a good place. Told her she shouldn't waste the next 3 months with an even worse dude than me. So a week later she calls me crying saying I was right about everything. The guy was using her as a trophy, he didn't actually care about anything she was saying to him, he was borderline abusive, he was some moderately built, nerdy weirdo who liked to use the facthe was a nice guy to show off how many girls he could pull to his friends.

Anyway, she asked for me to take her back and I told her that she needs to do her own thing and figure out what she wants in life before I'd give her another chance. We messed around for a while after but I stopped talking to her after she got a drinking problem and I couldn't stop her from driving like that. (we were part of the same group.)

Then she calls me months later from a rehab to tell me sorry and that she was put there after a dui. I didn't know what to say and then she went on some speech about how it's not about whether I forgive her or not. Like obviously I forgive you, I just can't stand people playing the world's smallest violin for themselves.

Told her I was sorry I wasn't better at helping her and I never wanted to make her feel alone.

She was dating a total loser by then. An abusive coke head who lived with his parents. She was a really nice girl, smart too. Her family was broken like mine. I could have easily ended up just like her. She cut off the whole friend group because they didn't approve of the guy. I only told her my thoughts once.

Saw her when at a bar a few weeks ago when a friend brought her there from somewhere else. She tried her best to be a bitch which if anything I thought was kinda cute. I actually think I saw her reflect a little when I didn't entertain her initially antagonistic behavior. I would like to see her in a better place someday.

ventustalks · Accepted Answer

I initiated it. He moved abroad. There were 7 hours between us and he started to ask for me to confide in his routine and let go of mine. For example he wanted me to wake up earlier or sleep earlier so that I can sleep with him/wake up with him and answer all of his phones. When it was 7pm here, he asked me to be on the phone everyday so that I can tuck him in the bed virtually. This was too much for me. 7pm is an hour that is a busy one. He would never text or call me when he was not free but expected me to arrange my everything for me. Sorry but no. I declined and left him.

collie22 · Accepted Answer

Catching a cheat doing it.. I screamed what are you doing! Walked out slamming the door. That's all could think to say. 😕

OlderAndWiser · Answer

She was an alcoholic and her behavior was spiraling downwards. I told her I wanted her to move out, and gave her time to make other arrangements, and offered to help her move.

AviatorTom · Answer

She wanted a divorce after 20 years of marriage. It was amicable.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

She ended it on valetines day. Things had been weird for a week before it so i thought something was up. In same conversation she told me she was pregnant. We were in a new relationship, this wasn't planned (she was on the pill), I was inexperienced in relationships and had been a little too keen. she said she couldn't balance relationship and having a child. We spoke a couple of times after, she was getting difficult to work with, already stating that I would have limited visitation and no custody till 3yrs at least (given we were only 1month into pregnancy it seemed way over the top). She miscarried a couple of weeks later. We didn't talk. She did reach out a few months later, but seemed to be blaming me for a lot (she ended our relationship, made it clear she didn't want to try, wanted no contact and then claimed I never cared for her as I never tried to talk to her after events). Didn't help the day she reached out i had connected with someone else on a dating site, was having a long text conversation all morning/afternoon. Was a shock to hear from ex at that point. I probably could have handled things better but for me it was over and I was moving on

Gent207-2 · Answer

She cheated - I was 45 minutes away at uni - she confessed I said I needed a few minutes to think, called a good mutual friend to help sort it out. Called her back said ,"sorry it's over."

I can still hear her crying out my name saying "no you promised... caleb, you promised". I said sorry and hanged up the phone.

I remember letting out a loud scream and slamming my fists into the floor of my dorm.

She took my virginity and my ability to trust in anyone, especially myself.

strateguy632 · Answer

how by phone, why, i felt our conversation was not communicated. i told her but she got all defensive "we communicated fine" so refused to change our talk. instead she started causing little things complained. i said "that is minor" she repeated again so i decided she was chasing me out. i texted a friend call me to meet. he did and she complained don't answer phone when with me you are very rude.

i said the truth he asked me to meet him. i will call you after. i left and called her to break up. then blocked her. so she decided and initiated dumping me. most recent ex. now with better and younger.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

He was polyamorous, I was not. We had an agreement that he only dated this other woman, who was his former ex.
And I was allowed to date or sleep with others (though I didn't)

I knew it was really unhealthy relationship for me. Especially because he was also manipulative.
He actually also married her, while also dating me. They told me 5 days before.

Finally I lost my shit when we had an argument over text because he yet again, had told me only 10% of the truth about something.
And while arguing, he wanted to test me...
That was when I was finally free of the grasp he had on me and we broke up.

Potteplante · Answer

My last break up was my divorce when I was 19. I packed my bags, wrote a short note that I was done and filed for a divorce.

The reason behind: 2 things: Me growing up tbh. My ex husband and I met when I was 14, at the time he was 36. A year later our on/off relationship began resulting in marriage at 18. And secondly I was tired of being a punching bag - I started to find my worth.

Throwawaynowknow · Answer

Told her that in a relationship I required X. I told her she can decide whatever she wants but should she choose what I'm not comfortable with then I'll take it as an indication she's breaking up with me and that she's moving out of my place.

She said I was giving her an ultimatum. I told her I'm not telling you what to do, you making a decision to effectively stay or break up with me and that she was the one giving me an ultimatum. Be cool with something I'm not or you dumping me.

She couldn't choose, so I took that as my answer. I'm reality I broke up with her but I only said all that she breaking up with me so as not to be drawn into a game where I'm being accused of forcing her, giving ultimatums, or anything else she could hang over my head

DiegoO · Answer

Hmmm.

Text messages, then video call. I decided to breakup with her first. We ended together again and I just couldn't take the first step again. She did though.

Reason I wanted to breakup?

A 3 years LDR was enough for me to realize we weren't heading nowhere. Beside that, sexually we were a disaster.

7-8 hours difference is no joke. 8000+km apart, is no joke.

Distance+time difference+sexual incompability: 💔

Previously I had LDR. None of them were serious. What I had with her was my first and very last serious LDR.

I would have to be a fool to enter one again, expecting another result. It was a KO of experience for me.

Fireguy17 · Answer

on the phone.
She called me, but I was going to call her to tell her the same thing.
I never told her that I was going to make the same call.
I was just like ok, that's fine, sounded very happy about it on the phone, which she couldn't quite figure out why I sounded so happy.
She saved me the phone call, easiest break up ever.
Had a date with someone else a couple of days later.
It didn't even take one beer to get over it.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

She did! First, she stopped fucking me, then she wouldn't let me hold her hand, put my arm around her or kiss her in public because, according to her, it showed ownership! I should've dropped her right then and there! Then, I caught her lying to me, stealing from me and then cheating on me!! She said she was gonna marry him so, I dropped her like a hot brick!! A year later, THEY broke up (her choice, again!) and she moved back to India!!

JustinTheGreat · Answer

I’ve been with my current partner for almost 8 years so at this point I don’t even remember who my last ex is or why we broke up

Tenderhearted · Answer

He wasn’t mature enough for a commited relationship, so I ended things, but it was mostly mutual and with respect because we were really good friends prior to dating.

Now the guy before him, I ended things 100% and he asked for a retainer basically lol that if when we were 40 and both single we’d get back together 💀 not a back up buddy. Good riddance. We dated 5 years on and off in a toxic cycle and I ended it every time. Thankfully that last time, was the last time. 🤩🥳

exitseven · Answer

I went with her to a concert where she went to college.. I told her to buy the tickets and told her I would pay her back. I never called her again. I was not happy with the relationship. I was going to give up on dating.

Redstang88 · Answer

She blocked my number (and everything else) and left town. Still don’t know why

Pegases · Answer

Face time. She lied to me, and stuck to the lie after I caught her. I did.

Davidbrooks · Answer

Well its simple I wanted kids she didn't. It was a deal breaker.

Billlewis · Answer

She basically made my life miserable until I just ended it on my own.

dolemite58 · Answer

it was a mutual thing just cuz we didn’t want to do a long distance relationship. We still hooked up here and there afterwards whenever we got the chance, id still be happy to see her if i was to ever randomly bump into her.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

Most of the time, she vanishes without a trace.

kaylaS91 · Answer

We were together just over two years when he and his cat moved in. I mention the cat because how my ex handled the cat’s behaviour towards me/my place was a huge red flag that ultimately brought me to my breaking point.

SeaStorm1 · Answer

last break up since kept blaming my trust and did always gift that might for his ex boyfriend and he did change into a toxic person and i wanted to break up.

AverageNerd · Answer

She initiated it in person. It was mutual because we both knew I was hiding being a closet sissy and we could still be great friends while finding someone else that shared our interests.

sheikalana · Answer

He broke up with me LOL.

jamesgoldman · Answer

Face to face Better that than the struggles of long distance It was amicable

CassandraSpender · Answer

I shot him... out of a cannon... into the sun

justabuddy · Answer

She actually broke up with me, and it's super confusing how it all happened. I've even thought about making it a gag question to see what others girls thought about it. But I've moved on.

Andres77 · Answer

Ouch! she suggested it, I agreed.

MysticDevice · Answer

The distance was too much. It was mostly mutual.

LavLavLuv · Answer

He cheated I left him

Fuentes · Answer

She was stupid so I dumped her

Mcluven08 · Answer

We had no chemistry.

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