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@emyywolf Damn girl, you look broken lol you're an open book right here. You can act as tough as you want, woman empowerement blablabla any normal guy can tell what you've been through :
You've been riding the cock carroussel for a long time, you have a nuts body count cause you enjoyed your youth as you're encouraged to do by capitalistic societies. Eventually, you met that one guy that you liked and the guy was grossed out by hearing about your previous experiences when you thought he would be thrilled. The guy told you he thought that was disgusting, that it was a dealbreaker for him, and eventually he splitted. Now, just like any girl who believed in feminism fairytales and got old, you're bitter. You're not bitter towards all the bs you got to trust, because it would require a reassessment of yourself and you don't own this quality. So you get bitter to the other part of the equation, aka males.
Now the thing is : Males didn't turn you into sluts. They are not responsible of your poor choices of life. As strong independant feminist women, you are responsible of your own actions. You're not babies, and you didn't got rape at age 6. You were a full grown woman who willingly decided to give away her ressources for free. You can cope as much as you want thinking "real men aren't grossed out by girls with """""experience""""", but that is still coping. It's actually quite the opposite in the real world : If a guy has value, therefore he has options. And if he has options, he gets to choose. And if he gets to choose between the slut and the virgin, the guy will always pick the virgin up to build a relationship. Only the guys who don't have value, so options, decide to pick up the leftovers. It's a choice by default, just like your "choice" to be bitter is a choice by default since you can't build up your virginity again.
You may think that I'm pissed about you because I'm telling you blunt facts but I don't. I pity you. You just hate men, and manhood. You won't be happy in life. You're 25, your best years are already behind you, and things won't get prettier with time. I seriously doubt you'll find a serious guy ever. You're doomed to only have hookups, you'll never build a family and you'll die alone on a hospital bed when you'll be old, getting your ass wiped by some random nurses instead of being surrounded by a loving family. It's super sad for you tbh :/
@topicowner If I were you I wouldn't freak out that much. You only had sex with one guy. For sure any guy would prefer a virgin. But 1 guy is not that much. I think you have plenty options remaining yet. People always tend to think by extremes. Yes, the perfect value woman would be virgin and be pretty submissive and sweet to men. Yes, the absolute no value woman would have ridden the cock carroussel for years and hate guys. But there is a world between those 2. Just because you had sex with one guy doesn't mean you directly fall down in the no value category. Stop thinking binary. Just like a guy isn't either Henry Cavil or worthless trash, you are not either a virgin or a worthless whore. Plenty guys can accept a woman with low bodycount. Some don't, but some do. The more you add negative traits to yourself, the more your pool shrinks. 1 bad trait doesn't ruins it all.
I'm both surprised and disappointed by how most guys are responding to this. Please remember that, above all, you are a human being and your so called value is determined by how you live your life now and what you plan for the future, not how you've lived in the past. When you eventually find someone that you want to be romantically involved with your past has no relation to them (unless you have some sort of psycho ex that may try to harm them, never can be too careful after all) and you have no obligation to satisfy someone, pardon my words, with their heads so up their butts that they can't see you as a human being with dreams, aspirations and qualities, and instead boils your existence down to "virgin girl or the slut".
A person that likes/loves you does so not because of what you were in the past or what you did in the past, they'll do it because of what you are now, what they feel in your presence.
As time goes on you'll also realize that your value is yours, not placed onto you by others with their sometimes crazy standards, and when you do hopefully you'll be freed from such worries present in this question you asked.
Marriage is a social construct created by insecure, pathetic, weak males
Religion is a social construct created by insecure, pathetic weak, males.
Nobody has to be a virgin to find a good partner. An insecure male has to literally subjugate someone to feel better about himself.
Women don’t have to believe in a man sitting on a cloud so they can go to a fairytale land after death. Religion Is a cult!! It’s insanity!! If you want to believe in fairytales that’s your fault. But you can’t belittle others due to your insanity and mental illness. 🤡🤡🤡
Only religious CHURCH NUTS. Sinner Church nuts say this type of insane BULLSHIT. This woman is practically still a virgin for not having screwed bigger and better males. She’s fine.
No such thing as virginity. 🖕 So are you also gonna say that animals have a virginity and a lioness that has fucked before lost all her value?
Exactly! That’s fucking insane! That’s stupidity! That’s corruption!
Only UNDESIRABLE males says some bs like that 🫵. If some imbecile tries telling you that your value lies in your body count or how many dudes you kiss or date or screw? Run away from that type of guy. FAR FAR FAR AWAYYY! Don’t even look back. Move to different city or country and change your name. Those males are sociopathic and narcissistic. BE VERY CAREFUL ‼️ Those are predators, it’s why they want virgins and the only virgins are those in HighSchool! Keep far away from them!
If anything the more you masturbate or the more guys your screw. The better you become are having sex. And the tighter you become because the vagina is a muscle. And my muscle is strong as f-k from all the masturbating that I do.
DO NOT LISTEN TO THESE UNDESIRABLE MALES. SMALL D-K. NO TESTOSTERONE. NO MANHOOD, NO BRAVADO. PORN ADDICTED. EATROGEN INFUSED. BALD. UNDESIRABLE, WEAK, PATHETIC, NO FATHER, GROSTESQUE MEN. 🖕🖕🖕
Don’t be so hard on yourself. I still found love even though I had sex with 3 guys before I met my fiancé. I felt like I lost mine out of desperation and loneliness at the time when I was single at the age of 22 but it was a conscious choice in the end and we used a condom at the time, I did wish at times I would’ve waited for it to be my fiancé instead of a random guy, but we all do stuff In life that isn’t perfect. We are human after all. If a guy really loves you that much your past won’t matter. How about them being virgins huh? Guys always get praised for how good they fucked a girl, high fives, talking about their bodies, joking etc but if a girl has had sex with at least 2-3 guys she’s automatically a “whore” fuck that message and their way of thinking. It’s double standard. Also any guy who acts like that is usually the toxic, jealous types so it’ll save you in the end if they reject you due to your virginity when they’ve screwed around themselves and have way too high of standards.
Opinion
61Opinion
Well the fact you feel bad shows you have moral values. Some people sleep around without any shame. Just pray to God. Repent. Pray for someone better because there’s better out there. Nobody is perfect. What’s different about you is your feel guilty and regret. Some people are wayyyy past that point
I'm really sorry to hear about the tough time you had in your past relationship. It's totally understandable that you might be feeling guilty about how things turned out and about your choices. But I want you to know that your worth isn't determined by any single aspect of your life, including your past relationships.
You've been through a lot and you learned important things from that experience. Even though it was toxic, it helped you understand what you need and what's healthy in a relationship. That's valuable knowledge that you can carry forward.
Feeling like you won't be seen as a worthy partner because you didn't wait until marriage is a tough thought to deal with. But remember, real worth comes from who you are as a person and how you treat others. It's not tied to whether you waited or not. Everyone's journey is different, and a partner who truly cares about you will understand and accept your past.
When you're ready to move forward and potentially meet someone new, be open to communication. If the topic comes up, share your thoughts and feelings honestly. A person who's right for you will listen and appreciate your honesty.
And about waiting for marriage, that's a personal choice. There's no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships. What's most important is that you feel comfortable and true to yourself in whatever you decide.
Right now, focus on healing and taking care of yourself. Your well-being matters most, and when you're ready, you'll find someone who sees you for who you are and values the journey you've been on. If you find it hard to let go of these feelings, don't hesitate to reach out for support, like talking to a professional. You've got this, and you deserve happiness and love just like anyone else..
You are allowed a mistake or two - but not 38 or 91. Going forward, you need to focus less (not none, but less) on your FEELINGS of attraction and much more on your vetting process. Your feelings alone are NOT going to have your best interests in mind.
Focus on the man's morals, values, and life goals, and make sure those are compatible before you commit to him - and this means being thorough and taking some time. If possible, involve your father, older brother, or other experienced male relative in the vetting process. They will be able to see things that you won't. Take their advice seriously.
Did your ex fail you in initial attraction, or did he fail you in the areas of morals, values, or life goals? Clearly the latter. And that's because no matter how attractive a guy is initially, if he doesn't have the right morals, values, and life goals, a relationship cannot work long-term. Even if you really want it to and have super strong feelings in the beginning. Your feelings will betray you, so you cannot rely on them exclusively - even though most people think otherwise.
I went through a similar situation as you, but you're smarter than me because it wasn't until I slept with a second girl that I realized what a huge mistake I was making. I was also given terrible advice by cynical people who viewed sex with all the same passion as tying their own shoes that I just needed to have more casual sex to get past my feelings. I can tell you that's horrible advice.
I would say the most important thing you can do is ask God for forgiveness and forgive yourself. People make mistakes. What's important is that you realize you made a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on.
In future relationships, be honest about losing your virginity and how you regretted it and now want to wait until marriage. I know speaking personally that I wouldn't look down on a person who had made a mistake like that and used it to mature and learn. It's the people who keep making the same mistakes and never learn who I want to avoid. Besides, it would be highly hypocritical of me to expect my future wife to have saved herself for me when I didn't do the same thing.
I'm sure there are plenty of great men out there who would have the same approach as I do.
I can tell you that it's okay, but what you value and believe in is still up to you, and whether you consider virginity having certain symbolic meanings.
I thought I was going to save my first time for a guy that would be worth it, but I had my first sex when I was 2 months from turning 24 years old. He was my best friend and partner at that time.
However, he had commitment issue. I was with him for a bit over 3 years before I left. Did I later think that he was not worth it? I did, and I was hard on myself, but I learned to be okay with my past and learned from my mistakes.
I don't think a guy would think that you're not worth it because you're not a virgin. I feel that most guys probably wouldn't mind if a girl is virgin or not (but I'm not a guy, so correct me if I'm wrong).
I met a guy (34 y) who said he had done oral sex, but had not had penetrative sex, and he said his "virgin" status repelled most women he spoke to and they would just not text him anymore. From what I heard, I feel that some virgins might actually have more difficult time than virgins finding a long-term relationship partner.
Anyway, I think you're okay, so learn to make peace with yourself. I hope you'll feel better soon.
Hold on hold on time out. Your vCard is not your self worth your self-worth is your heart your soul your mind your spirit how beautiful you are on the inside how confident how smart you are helping hands for others that's yourself worth that's who you truly are you're not your vagina you're not your
And when you gave your love to your ex that's exactly what it was so accept that you haven't done anything wrong and if a man wants you just because of your v card tell him to go take a flipping hike you don't want him anyway
Any man that measures you measures your worth by whether you're a virgin or not is not right in the head and you do not want to be with him anyway so
Advice love yourself accept yourself accept what you did with your ex because of your love that you have for him
Your Love changed it's okay it was meant to change so you find somebody that treats you and respects you the way you're supposed to be treated and respected so start your life right now be happy love yourself everything will work out
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It's essential to remember that your worth is not determined by your past or any decisions you've made. Here are some things to consider:
1. Your worth is not determined by your past: Your value as a person, and as a potential partner, is not determined by your past relationships or decisions. A loving and understanding partner will see you for who you are now and the journey you've been through, rather than judge you for past choices.
2. Communication: If you enter a new relationship and the topic of past relationships comes up, it's essential to communicate your feelings and experiences. A partner worth having will understand and support you.
3. Cultural and societal pressures: Sometimes, societal or cultural beliefs can influence our feelings of guilt or shame. Remember that these are constructs, and they change over time. What's most important is how you feel about yourself and your decisions, not what society dictates.
4. Future relationships: When you're ready to enter a new relationship, look for someone who respects and values you for who you are, not for your past. A person who judges you based on past relationships might not be the right fit for you.
5. Reframe your narrative: Instead of seeing your past relationship as a mistake, consider viewing it as a learning experience that has made you stronger and more aware of what you want and don't want in a relationship.
Remember, everyone has a past, and everyone makes decisions they might later question. What's most important is how you grow from these experiences and how you move forward. Your worth is intrinsic and is not determined by any past decisions or relationships.
I can top that. I lost my v card (cute. I used to use the same verbage for that kind of stuff too!). But anyway, I lost MINE to a one night stand!
Anyway, no I don't think your next relationship they will care so much. Virginity is in a sense, overrated anyway. My fiance doesn't care that I am not a virgin. You made your choices and well... and maybe also you were just very attracted to him and so you brushed off his "not so good" qualities. Don't worry. You cannot turn back the time. All you can do now is move forward and be thankful that you don't have BAGGAGE from him (at least in terms of a permanent physical one like a baby or an std/sti). You will fall in love again, especially if the next relationship is WAY better and more compatible with your last one. Good luck!
The thought that you think that you lost value makes me think that you’re closer to 18 than 24. There are some people who will wait for marriage but by your mid to late twenties most people lose their virginity. So long as you’re not going too wild only having one or two partners is not a major turnoff for most men. You can still find an amazing partner that will love you for the qualities that you possess. I think some people will judge you more harshly but it is easy to judge when things just work out the way you want them to which isn’t true for everyone. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad.
It's absolutely not true that you've lost your worth and a future romantic partner shouldn't view or judge you based on your past sexual or romantic experiences. Your first experience with a romantic partner doesn't define your worth or value as a person and doesn't affect your ability to find and build a loving and fulfilling relationship with someone. In addition, you had valid reasons for ending the relationship and recognizing that the relationship was hurting your mental health, which is extremely important. So you shouldn't feel any guilt or shame for your decision, it seems like you're doing what's best for you.
Worth?
Well there is "WORTH" as in being a human and your worth as a person and being alive. Everyone has value regardless of their sex life.
There is also a "WORTH" on the sexual market place. Are you a prime catch as a wife or someone a lot of men would pass on.
The more sex you have the chances of you being unhappy in a relationship go down and your chances of getting divorced go up. The more sex you have the more guys will not be interested for the "WIFE/MOM" category.
life happens. you didn't "lose your worth" because you loved someone and wanted to be close to them. the most you can do now is just move on and learn from the experience. but you cannot prevent yourself from making "mistakes", that's just not realistic. you could have been with him for 10 years and this could have happened. it doesn't make you worthless. also, this could have happened if you did get married and you waited for marriage to have sex. divorce happens. what then? you can't predict the future. just do what you think is right at the time. that's the most you can do.
don't let social media and weird men with fetishes tell you that non virgins don't make worthy wives. that is the most ridiculous thing i've heard. you're going to be okay!
If you wanted to wait until you were married, well, that time has passed and is no longer in play. So you are not a virgin. Do you think any guy you meet these days is a virgin? I don't understand the thought pattern of thinking a girl has to be a virgin, but a guy doesn't. Besides, seems people are proud of their body count anymore. I don't understand what there is to be proud of, but it is what it is. So don't sweat it. If some guy can't accept you without your virginity, that is their loss. You just be true to yourself.
We learn lessons too late. I had a virgin girlfriend who was 19. She told me that she was. After penetrating her vagina, I hit her hymen. If I had it to do over again, I would NOT have broken her hymen, but would have continued fucking without penetrating her that far, and she would have STILL technically been a virgin. Too late to go back.
That said, I don't think I would see anyone in a different light that had sex with multiple partners and I was in that position, many times. I would not agonize over it, Done is done. Fuck them if they don't like it.
My regret was the virgin that I broke her hymen ended up hating me for that reason, as be broke up soon after, and I think she felt that I robbed her.
Ohh , don't remotely worry about it , the Cherry had to be popped at some point , you were together 2 years , you are young..
In the Grand scheme of life , its no a big deal , we learn with experience.
Than why haven't you waited till marriage, why did you gave him your everything, he's not even worth it!
Another guy wouldn't betray his love's trust, will continue the relationship and marry her!
These days if you're living in the west it's something normal, i think that the majority won't care, even worldwide in this generation, people aren't giving so much importance about it but personally i do care, i mean now you can sleep with anyone and say that they were toxic and in the end if you find the one, there will be a bunch of guys who used you and slept with you before him and it ain't comforting at all...
Let me guess. You're from a religious family or from a traditional society. So am I. I don't intend to discourage you but most religious/traditional guys including myself do prefer virgin girls. But then again there could be those who accept you as well. Still the more partners you have the lesser your chances get. I don't mean any of this in a judgmental way but you got to understand that people have different values and perspectives. Wish you the best in finding someone who accepts your past. Just don't lie about it.
You are sort of in the widow category. A widow isn't going to be a virgin but it doesn't mean she wouldn't make a good wife.
If instead of being in a relationship for 2+ years, you had spent it having sex with as many guys as you could so as to be 'hot', then yes I would say you had destroyed your value.
But you haven't, so I don't believe you have
"virginity" until marriage, is only for kids. If you plan on having kids, you're supposed to wait until you're married, according to the bible. Hell, you could say you're still a virgin, if you don't want kids, just to say you're still a virgin.
You were in a serious relationship. It is not like you had a one night stand. Do not beat yourself up and let yourself off the hook. I would not even think about this and I am sure the majority of guys feel the same way.
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