How to fix my trauma?

I have been in relationship before but sidechick than I got into really good relationship, but when I saw same paterns it ruined me and I started to panick and emotionally not handle well like if it is hapening again. My partner was busy so he couldn't handle me emotionally and also he always said sorry for not taking care of me well. He couldn't handle it and we broke up but I would still try to text him to fix it but he didn't see my last message and ignored my calls. I completely understand him bc I was the problem. I don't know I still want to try with him when I get emotionally stable. We had really good relationship and I cry every day bc my unstable mental health ruined everything. I feel so sad for both of us. I still love him.

How to fix my trauma?
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