My boyfriend and I have been together 1 yr.
I really love him. He was unemployed for a yr. Stuck living at home with his mom. Never had privacy cuz he's always got family around sharing a room with his cousins. Man this guy couldn't even take me on dates.
To be honest. I am used to being with rich guys. But they always felt so empty inside. This guy was different. He was funny and I thought wow I can love someone for who he is not what he has.
Well. The entire year. He wasn't happy at all. Because there is not enough intimacy. He would flirt and get mad if I don't do it right. He was abusive and manipulative. He coerced me pressured me all these awful things.
I would cry because I know guys always liked me for my looks. But I thought if I loved him for who he is he'd love me for me. Not what I can do for him. He wants nudes he wants to masterbate on camera to me etc.
If I refused he'd threaten to leave. Tell me I don't love him. U know all the works.
Well due to my looks I'm often harassed and bullied so I became isolated in my home for years out of fear. But 2 weeks ago I found courage to go to a church event.
And guess what I was sexually harassed.
I contacted a friend for help and her husband got involved.
I was stunned. For the first time I look at my relationship and realized. When I needed to be protected. My boyfriend isn't here.
I told my boyfriend I want to break up. I understand he needs intimacy to be happy. But I need a man who can protect me and make me feel safe.
He blew up at me and said im jealous of my friend? That I need to let go of the past.
But everytime I forgave him he circles back around in a cycle about how unhappy he is with me. How Hanging with me feels like he's hanging with a male friend. Because I don't do sexual things for him or flirt right.
Well I cried and he called me toxic.
Writing this really helped.
I thought loving someone for who he is would be enough. Not for what he can do for me. But I still got hurt and abused.
But he keeps saying he's changing. And is angry with me for not letting him change and grow.
But its hard to heal. It happened every 3 months.
Now he says the cycle is broken.
But my heart can't take it anymore.
We are long distance.
And if im going to leave my house more often.
I need to be with someone who can step in and protect me.
I never looked at things like this before.
