How do you get over thinking that your ex was "special" in your life and as a person?

[hardboiledink]

I know now that it is not true, but what are some ways to think about an ex girlfriend to not have a false belief they were all that special so you don't want to go back or connect with them?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, getting over that "special" feeling about an ex can be tough. But here are some things that helped me:

- Remember why you broke up. Focus on the negatives - the fights, disagreements, incompatibilities. It'll balance out the rose-colored memories.

- Spend time with other people. The more you hang with your boys and meet new girls, the less they'll feel like "the one."

- Picture their flaws. We all have them, even if we didn't notice at the time. Think about little annoying things they did.

- Remind yourself you were also special to them. The feeling went both ways.

- Give it time. Feelings fade faster than you think, especially when you're busy having fun.

- Delete and remove everything that reminds you of them - pics, gifts, songs. A clean break helps.

- Talk it out with someone you trust. Venting gets their voice out of your head faster.

Don't be too hard on yourself if it takes awhile either. Just stay active and keep putting yourself out there - one day you'll hardly even remember what you saw in them!

[hardboiledink]

Thanks. It's much appreciated. Definitely gotta live life and move on

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem man! And yeah for sure, living life and moving on is the best thing. Don't waste your time dwelling on someone who's your ex now. Lots better things to spend your time and energy on. You'll meet new people, have new experiences, and before you know it this whole breakup thing will be a distant memory. We're only young once, so make the most of it! Hit me up if you ever wanna blow off some steam playing video games or something too. Later dude!

[SallyTho87]

If they were REALLY that special, they wouldn't have given up on the relationship, and wouldn't have accepted a breakup as a response to whatever the issue was that caused the breakup.
How often were you stressed due to things with your ex girlfriend? How often did you try to communicate or talk things out and find a solution? Did SHE try to find solutions too, or did YOU do all the instigating of ideas?
How many sleepless nights, or stressful days was there where things couldn't leave your mind and it ruined your day?

I think about reality of my ex. How he treated me when I was at my worst, how he neglected to communicate with me, neglected to TRY and fix things, took things for granted and blamed me when I stopped putting effort into it, etc. Think about the relationship in a WHOLE, not just about her, and the traits she had. Think about the tough times, the uncertainty, anything else that happened that casued you two to disconnect.
We like to see the potential, and have this ideology of a person we care about and love, hoping they will actually BE that person they have led us to believe they are, when in reality 95% of peple aren't that person, and we end up trying to make them see that, or be the ways they once were, only to be let down by reality.

You ex wasn't special. Your ex was a person who took your time, energy, commitment, maybe even wasted your time, your energy, your genuine nature, and unfortunately people need to give in relationships, not only take.
Your ex is a person, just another person you have learned from. Maybe it was a hard lesson, but good things end as a life lessons for us, meaning we deserve better. Think with your brain when you think of her, not with your heart or you will never truly see that true person she was.

[hardboiledink]

Thanks, makes sense. Be realistic, STOP believing in fantasies and stories of love especially with that person/people who are fake

[Anonymous]

Lol why do u think they are special. Sometimes if they were great and a real good catch , they are a real good catch. Just accept and understand u weren’t ready and were still building yourself