Found out his love towards me, our relationship was a lie, a joke being played on me. I'm in so much shock, confusion, pain, that I can't process it?

[Anonymous]

When I say it was all a lie, a joke, I mean a literal lie, a literal joke. He never loved me, never was in love, never even cared for me at all I found out. I'd been abused so badly in the past, and I resisted falling for anyone again, even him, but I found the courage to open up, and I fell in love with him. So for this to happen to me, it's just a shock, a confusion, a pain, unfathomable, I'd not wish it on anyone, even him. We seemed so in love, and so perfect, so amazing together... unlike I can describe. I believed that I was finally truly loved by this amazing man. to know it was all a lie, a literal joke played on me... I cannot even express my pain, my heart is crushed to a fine powder. it's just too cruel. I don't know how to process this. he ended us without a word, blocked me on everything, and I found out it was a lie, a joke, him loving me. he's gone, an I'm left here with this shock, confusion as to how anyone could do this, especially him knowing my past abuse an hopes for love. I'm left here with a pain that is so cruel to my crushed heart.. its just unreal. tell me he's a jerk, tell me how to process this, tell me how to go on, I know I have to, I'm willing... I just literally don't know how. thank you :(

[sage2021]

I wish you had told us how you found out about it being a joke.

How long were you with him. Did you live together?

Because you told him about your past he knew you were very vulnerable and he used it against you.

He knew how other guys hurt you and treated you bad and that opened his eyes to know how other guys got away with treating you bad.

You'd think that you were telling him about your past because he acted like you could trust him and so he wouldn't hurt you.

But he was just gathering up information and you trusted the wrong guy with that information you shared with him.

Actually you would be right if you said he is a narcissist because I believe he is. And he was gas lightning you.

He has severe mental health problems. He is sadistic as well.

He was probably beaten as a child, had an overbearing mother, might have been abandoned by one or both parents. He didn't grow up in a normal house with normal parents. And he doesn't know how to love someone because he wasn't taught about love from his parents.

What he did to you was what a mentally deranged man would do.

Be glad he blocked you and lock your doors and make sure he isn't following or stalking you. Blocking you might be a trick. He wants you to believe he's not in your life anymore but he might be and he might come back and hurt you or worse.
He is mentally ill so watch your back.

[Flatmanlewis]

This is exactly what I was thinking on

[Asker]

months, didn't live together, an he told me. thank you.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh sis, I am so so sorry this happened to you. That is beyond cruel and you did not deserve such deception and heartbreak. Please be very gentle with yourself right now - your feelings are valid and it's okay not to know how to process such a betrayal. A couple thoughts:

- Cut off all contact and block him everywhere too. You need space to heal without any possibility of false hope.

- Lean on your close girlfriends as much as you need - let them support you through this. Tears, venting, and time with people who truly care about you will help.

- This says everything about him and nothing about your worth. You trusted and loved with an open heart - that is beautiful, even if he didn't deserve it.

- Feel all the painful feelings as they come. Cry it out, journal, punch a pillow. Don't bottle anything up. You'll start working through it bit by bit.

- In time the shock will fade and you'll see clearly he was not who you thought. For now be patient with yourself as you grieve.

You absolutely will get through this. Lean on your chosen family, treat yourself with grace, and keep putting one foot in front of the other each day. His lies do not define you - your courage and kind heart do. You've got this sis, even if it doesn't feel like it yet. I'm here for you always 💕

[Asker]

thank you

[teamvic]

Hmmm

As far as what you should do, I definitely don't think you should give up on dating. I know you've been through bullshit but you have to have faith that someone is out there for you you know🤔

I do however think you shouldn't jump in a relationship so fast, make them become your friend first and get to know them a lot

Also you're going to have to get better at reading guys intentions. The bad ones usually all follow similar paths to get what they want.

[Asker]

I'm wise, it was hard to open up, love again, but he got me. thank you