My girlfriend told me she doesn’t see a future with me but we’re still together. Does she really mean that?

[underground]

After a fight, I told my girlfriend over text that I love her and see a future with her. She asked to meet and then told me she doesn’t feel the same about our future, though she still loves me. When I asked if she wanted to break up, she said, "I don't know." I explained that I don't want to break up but also don't want to be with someone who wants to leave. Eventually, she said she didn't want to break up, and we're still together now, which I'm grateful for. However, I can't shake the feeling that a breakup is inevitable. She mentioned it feels like we will break up, but didn't clarify when or why. I always hoped we’d at least move in together. It's heartbreaking because I don't want to break up; I love her so much. Has anyone else experienced this? Did things work out, or did you break up?

[MrOracle]

The right answer would have been to break up with her immediately. She basically slapped you across the face, and you did nothing, which merely taught her that abusing you comes at no cost to her. If she respected you before, she certainly doesn't now.

So, now, she's going to keep using you until she breaks up with you on HER schedule - which IS coming, because she has already broken up with you emotionally.

This is what happens when you allow yourself to believe that SHE is the prize. She doesn't respect you, which leads to her losing attraction to you. You are better off single than having your girlfriend walking around with no respect for you. It's already destroying your reputation with everyone she is talking to.

As a man, you need to set boundaries and expectations UP FRONT, and if she doesn't like that, she can walk away. But she probably won't, because it's likely that she will respect you for respecting yourself enough to have boundaries and expectations. But you must also enforce them.

If a woman ever tells you that she doesn't see a future for you two, it's already too late to save the relationship, but if you end it immediately yourself, you at least save your dignity and self-respect.

[Nirmroth]

Nope when she starts talking like this its the beginning of the end. She might stick around for a few weeks or months but the issue will come up again for her while you think everything is okay and eventually she will have gathered the courage to end it while it hits you kinda out of the blue.

Save yourself some pain and end things now based on the reason she told you. Love is great and all but it alone is not enough to hold a rl toghether.

Been there and hard to find out the hard way, my ex dragged me along for around 6-8 months trying to work things out bec she loved me while I just wanted to stay toghether and didn't know what was going on with her. The power dynamics of the rl was completly shifted and based on whetever she wanted to stick around or not. I felt like a mess and unmanly and even worse when she did finally decide to end things for good destroying all my hope. Never again will I hold out so long for a women. If she says she wants to leave, better believe her and brace your heart accordingly.

[Damaged00]

I do believe that she probably still does love you. But her saying "I don't know" tells me she has already been thinking of breaking up with you. She doesn't want to hurt you but she has her own reasons for wanting to break up. It could be that she's unhappy with the relationship, found someone new or that she doesn't love you in a certain way anymore but whatever her reasons, she has already been contemplating it.

Now you can choose to guilt trip her into staying by telling her how much you love her and see a future with her. That you don't want to break up. But that will probably only prolong the inevitable. Or you can choose yourself now and walk away. Will it really make you happy with someone you already know is unsure of you? Do you really want that for yourself?

[XHopelessRomanticX]

She doesn’t want to break up, but she also doesn’t see a future with you? While it is possible that she didn’t mean what she said initially, my instincts are telling me that she is afraid of being single. She’d rather be in a relationship that goes nowhere than be broken up with. Ripping the bandaid off can be scary, but it’s far less painful than peeling it off slowly.

[melnc]

She didn't mean what she said at all, she was just feeling upset and wanting to push both of you to be more mature instead of spending most of the time fighting. If she truly wanted to leave, she wouldn't have told you, and would have looked for someone else to provide emotional support when things go wrong, but she decided to stay with you to fix the issue. Give her a couple of days, then take the initiative to be mature and responsible.
Does she love you? Definitely.
Does she want to break up? Absolutely not.

[natured]

First she didn't know then she changed her mind, with this passage alone this relationship became fragile according to me.
Sometimes words hurt more than actions... and I think i'd have a serious talk with her.

If i would tell my man that I don't see a future with him I WOULD MEAN IT... those words don't just slip out by mistake..

Please be careful
Respectfully

[SugarSugarplum]

No future = no girlfriend. What is her plan here? To squander years of your life, blocking you from finding your future partner and wife? It takes a year at least to date and figure out if there is a future, and if you go through 4 or 5 of those before finding the right one, then that's 5 years of your life.
If you don't want to get married in your mid 40's, then you need to be about finding the right girl.

[the29thhuman]

After a fight?
Ok so you fight with her, make her feel bummed out. Then you say you love her? And u want her to feel what exactly?


How about be a big boy and recover the fight first. But if you mix love with fighting, do her a solid and get out of her life

[RingOfFire]

It's a bargaining trick women use. She wants something from you so she is threatening you to scare you into getting what she wants. If you want to keep her, figure out what it is and fix the problem which by the way doesn't necessarily mean you give her everything she wants.

[nawtee_me]

Yes she does. If you are still together it is because she has given you one last chance to show her that you want a future with her. She eventually doesn’t think that the relationship is going anywhere and needs to know that it is. Marriage, kids, living together, what is the next step for you? Hers is with someone else if you can not meet her needs.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

You will waste each other's time, so try testing the waters. Ask her if she wants to marry you or have a child with you. You will see her real reaction from that, since it's a life long commitment.

[MisterWack]

Tell her to meet up with you and confront her.
Ask what she meant by “not seeing a future with you, though still loving you”.
If she doesn’t make you feel supported, loved, and respected in that explanation maybe it is best to split up.

[JosyJosy]

I experienced that and then I broke up with him. Future is important and there's no time to lose. If we're not on the same page about the big important stuff, you're wasting my time.

[LazerBean]

I haven't experienced this myself, but it means she's either just dumb or using you.

[TurboAnon]

Get away from her immediately. She's indecisive, and the reason she's indecisive is because she's waiting to see where her 'backup boyfriends' go. She's waiting for one of them to get rich, so the moment that happens she can leave you.

[katiesmuff]

Don't know your girlfriend so your guess is a good as mine would be.

[BonzoInBitburg]

It sounds like you're her placeholder until she finds someone better

[Anonymous]

If she didn't mean it it's a really f***ed up thing to say. I'd be looking elsewhere right now. Unfortunately you have to di what's best for you. And if she didn't really mean it then her game backfired on her.

[Vanny20]

As a lady, I would say that what's meant to be would definitely be, if truly you guys are meant for each other, then the future belongs to the both of you, and in every situation remember that everything happens for a reason

[thearchjoker]

She is giving you a last chance change or lose her

[Huntingnfishin]

Dump her buddy. She's only with you until something better comes along from the sounds of it

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

She doesn't want to be with you.

I know it's going to hurt you bad but you have to let her and find another woman who is looking for you.

[MyBrainsInsaneReign]

It kinda seems like she's using you as a placeholder, until she finds a guy she DOES see a future with.

You may want to consider cutting your losses.

[Emmytexrex]

Just don't waste your time bro go and look for someone that wants long term with you

[Walksbehindtherows]

I've been through this, man, damn, those were some tough times.

[Anonymous]

Two questions: How long have you been together. How often are you having sex.

[LiamJHayden]

She could be using you as a place holder.

[JesseP1nk]

She does not wanna pay her own bills

[BetaBucks]

Let her go bro