My girlfriend said she doesn't see a future with me, but she kisses me, says she loves me, sleeps naked with me?

The past few months have been tough with my girlfriend. We are good around each other, but she has been increasingly into her phone, working late at work, and so forth. She said I missed the boat with her and doesn't see a future with me. She says she loves me and care very much. But she wasn't sure her feelings would change.

This last week she has been texting me, saying she is home, that she is going to get groceries if I wants anything. She calls me by my pet name. Lays her head on my chest naked.

We haven't had sex in a while too. Thoughts on us? What can I do to get that lovin' feeling back?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds weird in my opinion. If she doesn't see a future with you, she would probably break up with you asap. So I think there are 2 reasons why she's doing this.
    1. She's still around because she likes the comfort of having a boyfriend, even though she doesn't see a future with you.
    2. She told you that in order to make you a bit stressed, and maybe to make you realize that you should pop the question (because otherwise you'll "miss the boat" with her for real). I mean, you said that she wants it to happen faster than you do, right? So this might be her trying to nudge you towards marriage.

    Either way, you should really try to talk to her about it, and ask her why she's still with you if she doesn't see a future with you. Ask her to be honest.

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    • Can I get that lovin' feeling back? How can I miss the boat on something and not be able to get us back?

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    • After everything else I said, and you mentioned I just need to talk to her. What do you think overall where we are? Not looking good?

    • I don't know either of you well enough. So, no comment.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to have a real talk with her and find out what's going on.

    What does it mean to "miss the boat" with her? Why doesn't she see a future there?

    To be totally honest, this sounds a LOT like the death rattle of the relationship...

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    • We had a chat last night and it is really that she has been distant. But she still kisses me, says she loves me.

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    • This last weekend we cuddled up and watched a movie.

    • It sounds like the lines between platonic love and romantic love are becoming muddled for her.

      I just think that the absence of sexual intimacy and the very fact that she told you she doesn't see a future with you are the not-so-subtle signs that it's heading toward a breakup.

      That's just my opinion based on what you've told us.

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What Girls Said 7

  • She sees your relationship as short term.
    Not a serious one.
    You're probably her back up plan.
    I'm sure she is looking for someone new already.
    You should too. You're wasting your time on someone that's not into you anymore.
    Sooner or later she'll leave you for another guy.
    Sorry.

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    • What can I do? :(

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    • Maybe she is? Why would I toss something all away if I can do something about it? Or maybe I can't :(

    • Look, try spicying things in the relationship.
      If she is still on her ways, end it.
      At least you can leave knowing you tried.
      Promise?

  • yeah she clearly only wants the D …..

    if youv missed the boat then y is she still around? she wants u around to satisfy attention she craves.

    I'm sorry to tell u this but 'getting the lovin feeling back' is hard if its just not there.

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    • I agree... she was out late one night and came back. I was asleep in bed (well one eye open), I saw her get undressed and she came to me in bed, gave me a huge hug and a kiss then laid on me all night.

      The next morning I left for work. She texted me hugs, how much she cares for me and loves me. She asked when I would be home and I told her, she wished me good luck at work and how awesome I was and the best person for the job.

      Weeks ago, when we go out, she would be very affectionate to me. Kiss me, we had a great time. I don't know?

    • u poor thing=/

      look i understand u may b getting mixed feelings, but girls know how to manipulate when they want to. she's probs realised u may be catching on to what she's doing, but PLEASE dont fall for it.

  • she's just maybe passing time or maybe she simply can't see you being her husband and the father of her kids not all relationships are meant to be long term some just short and temporary

    I lay naked with the guy that I love we cook together we run errands together and some ways I can see us 10 years together some ways I can't

    Just enjoy your time together who knows maybe she might change her mind about you being in her future

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  • Why can't she see a future together?

    Her being distant is just a symptom, but what happened in the past that made her think you and her won't last long? I could think of very different life paths, notorious differences in beliefs and lifestyle, a broken trust. Answering this would then allow us for a better understanding and better suggestion on what you could do to try and better your relationship.

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    • It comes down to that she wants to get married/kids sooner than I do. I never really presented a time table to her.

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    • Thanks! I think you're response hits the nail on the head. Now, do you think I need to propose? Or just have a plan/timeline together? I was thinking about saying, this is where I see our future going: Join bank account, timeline to get engaged, married, babies, etc.

    • I sort of feel like whatever I say, she is going to feel like now I was pressured into it.

  • First explain why you mean by"...she said you missed boat"

    ^maybe she just doesn't see you as a long term commitment she just sees you as a...living/enjoying their moment. Type. But not someone who would share that. Get down on one knee type

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    • She said her feelings have changed. What can I do to be the get down on one knee type?

    • Honestly nothing. I'm sorry to say

  • yeahh, i sort of see myself feeling the same way as your girlfriend does, she likes you and sees you as a great friendmaybe who she has loving feelings for but maybe deep down knows she doesn't love you and wouldn't be fair to spend the rest of your lives together yet she want you now for company because neither of you want to break up because she thinks you're a nice person? i guess i am sort of like her although i would never say it to my boyfriend as he is moving away to go to uni soon and i feel it will just come to a gradual-peaceful- end anyway without hurting anyone

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    • She says she loves me very much and cares for me. At one point she said she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me.

    • Do you think she just wants it to gradually and peacefully end it? Why all the stuff involved?

  • This sounds dreadfully like what I just went through... except I was in your girlfriend's shoes and I broke it off. Given what you said it looks a lot like what happened to my couple.
    What happened for me is that I realized I cared very much about him, I liked him very deeply but I didn't love him enough to stay forever. I felt good with him in a day-to-day basis, nothing was particularly wrong. I liked being with him, but somehow I felt like I wouldn't spend my life with him. We started seeing each other less, because I was so busy all the time, and so was he, and our schedules didn't match. Sex also didn't happen much, even when we saw each other.

    I wanted to tell you this because I want to show another side of the situation. We could think she's selfish for keeping you around, but deep down she may simply care a lot. She obviously cares for you, hence why she doesn't want to hurt you by breaking up. She seems to realize she doesn't love you enough to stay forever, yet she doesn't want or can't break up with you. She probably knows it'll be more painful later, but she could also be hoping for her feelings to change or for her courage to grow stronger...

    I think it is a plausible explanation for your situation, but I hope it is not the case, because the most likely outcome of the situation I described is a break-up, regardless of what you try.
    Good luck for everything.

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    • Why can't I do anything? :(

      Is there anything I can do at all?

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    • I'm ever so confused. I mean, in bed Monday night after all this (and after I asked this question), she came back at night, got naked, hopped in bed next to me. She gave me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek and laid on my chest.

      Last night she puckered her lips up so I kiss her goodnight. Or is this all part of the routine? I mean if I ask her, I am pretty much will have to have a bag packed if we are breaking up...

    • I really appreciate your help and response here. I'm just not sure what to think :(

What Guys Said 2

  • For God's sake get the hell out of there. You'll be messed around for years if you allow it. You've got to move on, date other girls, take a break from contact with her so you can move on emotionally. Sometimes being treated mean can be addictive, but its also very very harmful to carry on accepting it. Leave it behind you, there's a world of opportunity out there for you to discover. Its too easy to get fixated on one relationship, however flawed. Be self-aware, respect yourself. Wish you well.

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    • This just started going on in the last few months. We have been together for 2 years and before this everything (for the most part) was great.

  • she might just want to slow down for a little bit give it time it might get back to where you two was before and she just might be too tired to do anything

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