Most men only see a future with women who have lighter skin, so then why are those same men upset when dark women don't act like marriage material?

[Here_We_Go_Again]

As a preface to this post, I want to just say that I understand that men's biological preference towards light-skinned women is a natural thing in their DNA that they can't really change - It's just part of their nature to prioritize and seek lighter-skinned women over darker-skinned women, and I've just come to accept that as a dark-skinned woman myself.

But something that then just makes me so confused as a dark-skinned woman is that the same men who exude their preference for lighter-skinned women to be their "wives" and who will tell a dark-skinned woman to her face that they will "only" date, marry, and procreate with a light-skinned woman - They're the same men who will judge dark-skinned women and get upset with them for not prioritizing "being marriage material" as their "backup" in case they failed to get their preference. (as in the light skinned woman they actually want)

If we're looking at this situation from a dark-skinned woman's perspective, then it can be reasonably said that with all these messages being sent towards you from men saying that you will never be marriage material because of the color of your skin, then it doesn't really make sense why a dark-skinned woman like myself or any dark-skinned woman for that matter would prioritize being wife material over, say, her education or her career/being competitive in order to beat these men for these jobs or just preserving her own well-being above any wifey qualities that men in her community would want her to have.

Why do men want dark women to behave with them as if she were their wife or girlfriend when they make it very clear to dark-skinned women in particular that they will never be her husband - And on top of that, if this is the case, is it really reasonable to judge the dark women who then proceed to these areas of hookup culture and friends with benefits relationships (like I see many male/manosphere podcasters complaining about) when it seems like there's no other alternative to that?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I'm afraid I don't know although I'd point out that it's deeply hypocritical if a man prefers a lighter-skinned woman for marriage while simultaneously criticizing darker-skinned ones for failing to be wife material. Is it the exact same men who are doing this and not one man saying this and another saying that?

>> I want to just say that I understand that men's biological preference towards light-skinned women is a natural thing in their DNA that they can't really change [...]

Are you sure about this? It seems deeply cultural to me. I've always been attracted to the darkest-skinned women since I was a boy and I think it's because they were culturally popular here in Japan when I was a boy.

Japan did share a history similar to many Asian and European countries that traditionally idolized the palest skin on women in the feudal era (Snow White style) as those being the most aristocratic, noble, and beautiful (since they didn't spend much time out in the sun).

Yet by the time I was a boy, already there was an emerging counter-culture that saw even the darkest skin as equally beautiful. You started to see female cartoon characters popular like this and considered very beautiful:

... as well as an emerging counter-culture of fashion where young Japanese women would try to get tans or even spray-tans to get their skin as dark as possible, like this:

Always a tad extreme for my taste, but I think this change in cultural standards of beauty that was emerging already in the 80s was why I always found my share of beautiful dark-skinned women (including dark-skinned black women of African ancestry, dark-skinned Indian women, etc).

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

So I really think it's a nurture thing, not a nature thing, when there are men in certain cultures that still consider pale skin more desirable. I suspect they're still stuck in feudal ideas of what made women attractive, like a plump pale woman. We had the same in Japan like this:

But we changed our standards of beauty over time.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

One thing I suspect I am still culturally affected by from the Japanese side is that I tend to prefer slimmer women with not-so-large breasts and butt. So I do find the picture of the slim black woman you posted extremely attractive along with women like Rihanna and Beyonce. But I don't find women with gigantic breasts and butt so attractive like Nicki Minaj even though they seem popular in American black culture. They are a bit too extreme for my taste and probably because most women in Japan lack such large breasts and large butts.

[Here_We_Go_Again]

interesting, hmm

[Berethor]

You said it yourself, they want you as a backup, that why they still care about that.

[Anonymous]

For the same reason women want to judge men 6 ways to Sunday that they would never date anyways.🤣

[guyinterested]

been with women with very dark skin. I'm white. totally marriage material

[dudeinohio]

I was married to a dark skinned woman