My ex and I dated 6 months and broke up 2 months back. I intiated it. The relationship honestly was too quick and turned toxic really fast. My ex was a narc, took full advantage of my innocence and empathetic naturate and abused me financially, emotionally and sexually. While it was subtle and my consent was there he had definitely managed to brainwash me for me to say yes to all of this. Now to some extent i feel traumatized, I feel like won't be able to trust men romantically, I even get scared to get intimate with anyone. I keep thinking off him though i dont want to. I contacted him once or twice post break up for him to retunr my 2k but still nothing and im blocked on socials. My ex roomate who still follows him showed me his latest post upon my request and i could see in one of the images it looked like a girl (noticed a shadow in the glass) took his pics. Now tbh i had no doubts about him moving on quickly cause he lied about his past so much and he was a fuckboi when he met me. (we met on a dating app). But just seeing him looking sorta happy, slight glow up and everything infuriates me on how could he be so happy after destroying my soul and taking away my money and everything? im slightly struggling financially because of him. I wish i could have deported him (I can very well put a case on him) but he has shit on me that my parents dont know about and my parents are strict so im stuck there. But i just get so pissed off and can't fathom he treated me that way. I feel so much uglier off late, like a bum. He stressed me so much when we were togther id get panic attacks, eat once in 2-3 days and lost 20 pounds in 4 months. Now im putting the weight back and im happier without him but i feel like I've become uglier and i can't stop tryna obsess over him. I dont know what to do.
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