How do I get over my ex?

[Anonymous]

It's been three months since I've broken up with my ex and I've concentrated on myself and I feel very confident in my personal growth. However sometimes when I sit alone in bed, I am flooded by memories of my ex and I become very vulnerable. I blame myself from not doing the right things. I broke up with her, but I did it because she lost the attraction for me. I couldn't be anything but invested and affectionate and she felt suffocated. I'm not sure how I could've done it differently as I had very strong feelings for her. I'm trying to get with other girls, but I am not attracted to most girls anymore. Those I am attracted to are already taken or want something serious while I don't. I really want to ponder before getting into another serious relationship.

[itsalyssaagain]

First of all, people heal at different paces and it's completely normal to feel this way. You might feel it for another week, you might feel it for another few years. I won't sugarcoat things because you can't rush the healing stage.

At some point in your life, you really cared for this person and it sounds like you invested a lot into this person and the relationship. Accept what you are feeling right now but don't let it prevent you from living your life. Try and enjoy the other aspects like your friends and family, your career and I really recommend picking up a new hobby/learning a new skills.

These are all things that would make your days a little less painful.

I would also suggest remaining in contact with women. Try and go on dates but always make sure you make clear you're not looking for something serious.

The reason I say this is because if you don't meet anybody else, on any level, it will be very difficult to get your ex out of your head. It would also have some kind of effect on your confidence in the long run.

[Asker]

Thank you. That's good advice. I am keeping myself busy with my job and other interests in my life. I plan to do many things and I manage to do most of them. I make it clear because I don't want to be emotionally invested in women I am not attracted to personality-wise and I don't want to pretend I'm very interested in them when I'm mostly into their looks. I've been to a couple of dates, but I didn't have much success yet. I am confident, but I notice I have some bad luck with women at this point. They either reject me (some are already in relationships) or they don't date casually.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Give it time. 3 months isn't that long to begin with. Just give it time, spend time with your friends, and if you have someone to talk about it with, then do so.

[wysiwyg2525]

I am a licensed psychiatrists. I agree with some ladies who responded to you. As for the guys, I do not as they think with a southern head not the not the northern head. There is always a but. But, I'm not going to ke to you. I'm going to be straight forward with you. The issue is you. You're the issue. You're sobbing on the what-if question, and you're looking for a new replacement right after a breakup. That being said, you got to stop searching for the right one because they don't exist. Change up your surroundings in your home different sheets, blankets, and artwork. Change your appearance and stop staying home sobbing. Look at life differently as it is very short. A breakup exists because it wasn't meant to be. You're doing some things right, like keeping busy. You're acting on other things based on impulses. Sex should not be a priority in your life. It should come fourth in your life. 1. Realgion, 2. Health, 3. family, 4. Relationships/sex. Please reacout to me if you need more advice.

[Mansearching]

It does take time. But sometimes you have to put your big boy pants on and get back out there.

[Akam93]

It takes time to get over someone. But just give it time you will find someone one day. Good luck. :)

[Asker]

Thank you 😊. The idea that we didn't fulfill our dreams and plans and she might do that with someone else hurts me. The idea that she would not care about me anymore hurts me.

[Akam93]

Your welcome. :) always feel free to message me if you need advice. I make a good friend.

[TJ1892]

It takes people different amounts of time, it took me 2/3 years to get over my ex. It can be horrible and daunting especially depending on the circumstances 👌

[Static_In_The_Attic]

By finding another ex.

[In_Trance]

Have you railed anyone else?

[Asker]

Nope. I was into a girl, but she is very serious and wants to get married haha

[In_Trance]

That's your problem.

[Anonymous]

It's easy. You meet someone else.