Is it true that you don't really know the person until after you break up?

[red324]

I dated a girl once, then found out after the fact from a 9 year old of all people that this is what she does. Stays with a guy for 2 or 3 months, gets bored then moves onto another guy. Rinse, wash, repeat. The 9 year old didn't say it like that, but I kind of put two and two together. She asked about us and I said she broke up with me and the 9 year old goes AGAIN? So I figured she does this with a lot of guys. Anyways, it's like how come when you're with someone, everyone keeps their mouth shut? That would have been nice to know in the beginning

[KrisKris81]

It is possible to convince yourself that food you hate tastes good. It could be that your feelings prevented you from seeing certain aspects of someone until after those feelings disappeared. Or, an built-in coping mechanism accentuates aspects of the person after breaking up. Or, that the person is coping as well by acting in an unfamiliar way to distance themselves from the relationship.

I don't think it's always as simple as, "that person was always someone I didn't actually know." re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

What is true is that we have all the opportunities to really know a person before dating them, while dating them and while being in a relationship with them.

However, we don't use all these opportunities, usually, for some reasons. That could be because we don't know how to relate to people, how to talk or how to understand them, or we believe that people are simple or we overestimate our capacity to really know them. Or we underestimate the necessity to really know them. Or we underestimate the complexity of ourselves, themselves and of a romantic relationship.

So, in practice, and because of the reasons stated above, we often discover some facets of people after it's too late. This is entirely our responsibility.

[Hawaiikai]

Actually, you never really know a person deep at all. You may seem to know someone inside and out, but you actually don’t. do you know how many husbands and wives killed their other half’s? I’ve met Mormons who cheated on their wives. You would never have thought…

[FreyaRed]

No. You don't know you personal level of idolization and wish think until breakup. The signs and behavioral patterns are always there but often we don't want to notice them.

[lightbulb27]

might depend upon amount of time.

you may find out more as people become open to talk when before, they held back their opinions...

The girl you note is repeating a pattern. Until someone comes along that challenges her to heal her deeper wounds... she will continue repeating.

that's humanity... we are emotionally programmed organisms...

[Purpleronnie]

You only really know what your shown , what folk want you to see, which isn’t always who they actually are. It can be who they want to be , or who they think you want or need them to be or just because they really don’t understand themselves or what they want or need.


So no , it’s not true that you only know them at the end of the relationship it’s the fact that you never knew them at the start

[NathanDavis]

not in my case no...

I usually know the person enough and way better, then I end up in a relationship with them... not the other way around

[CarolinaGirl5]

It sounds like a you problem. You didn't take the time out to get to know who you were dealing or just didn't care to because you were just looking to benefit re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

[Nikki1989]

Yes, men often present their best selves, especially in the early stages, but they tend to run out of steam when it is not genuine.

[fuddly]

Hahaha

[Anonymous]

Hmm, unless you ignored her and only paid attention to superficial details like her appearance. I don't understand how you wouldn't know her throughout the duration of your relationship.

[Anonymous]

People rather not warn you and let you learn from experience. But I often see true colors after the first 3 months of the relationship

[red324]

They just don't want to hurt your feelings is why things are never said. Or at least the right things are never said. You may get the side of eggs, but they aren't going to let you have the whole steak.

[ihateTaylorSwift]

yup he'd make me have these moments like who's this stranger? you are not at all who I dated or how I remember u

[ihateTaylorSwift]

It's true, people just change and never give you a heads up
when they're about to let go of move on
They just do...

[WhyohWhy69]

I was blamed by incels for my ex husband’s behavior. It was always my fault. Well they all cheered when he got remarried. Now he’s getting divorced.

[LiamJHayden]

It is likely precise to say that we might not truly see a person's dark side in full bloom till then.

[msc545]

You really do not know entirely ever, but after a break-up you get to know the ugly angry vindictive side of them as often as not.

[Ariesman81]

Who cares... you got some ass and learned a lesson. Sounds like a win to me.

[Shamalien]

Yeah I’ve seen some shit….