Why do most guys cut off all contact with their exes?
My boyfriend just broke up with me and he said we were in love but we had 'grown apart' in the time span of 1-2 weeks. He was really sad about it too but stressed out with school (we were good over the summer but then broke up when school began). Anyways he said he wanted to be friends still and that I should text him randomly. Well I did once, just a joke about my football team winning. and he didn't respond.
Why is he cutting off all contact with me? Does it still hurt him to talk? or.. is he just so sick of me and wants me to go away?
Most Helpful Guy
You know why he did this, and I will get to that later...
In my experience, it is best to cut off an ex when they try to be "friends". There is no point to keeping in contact with someone that wants a "friendship" on their terms. Think about this. What do friends do. Talk, hang out, go places, have fun together, make conversations, try to set you up with someone, stuff like that. Now be honest. For the most part do exes do those things with the seriousness of being a real friend? 95% of the time the answer is no, and most people like to think they are the exception to the rule.
When people break up and still try to be "friends" with the ex, most of the time at least one of them has the false hope of someday being together again. Then in most cases someone moves on while the other person has feelings either public or hidden. No one wants to see someone they still have feelings for all over someone else or to even hear about it.
Sometimes it goes a couple of ways. 1: They move on and you still have feelings and you feel like crap. 2: You move on to someone else and it eats them alive. Since he broke up with you, he proabably used the "friendship" card to help him "swin to shore", wanted everything to be on his terms, and figured that when he was ready to officially move on he was done with you. Girls do this tactic all the time to guys, so I'm pretty sure you know the deal.
If you have another guy already, then he figured that you didn't need him anymore. Maybe he has someone else and he doesn't want any drama. Would you want your boyfriend talking to his ex? So maybe he is cutting it off because he "has to". Or maybe he is just busy and you are looking into this too much. Don't put too much thought into this and move on completely.
Stop trying to communicate with him because that will just feed his ego. Once again I am quite certain that you know girls that have done this to guys out there, putting them in the friend zone and cutting them off when you are done with them. Just like when people say "it's not meant to be" when it comes to relationships, it applies to friendships as well. It just seems like when girls do this all the time to guys out there it's OK, but when a guy does it there's a problem with him or he's a "coward" or "immature". It is what it is.2