Would you stay in a relationship where you constantly feel undervalued or would you leave?

[Anonymous]

Here are some examples of things he’s done over the years that hurt me
• rarely compliments me or makes me feel attractive.
• doesn’t say I love you back sometimes
• makes plans with me then suddenly changes them or chooses to hang out with his friends instead
• gets jealous or irritated when I spend time with family like my grandma even though they prioritize their loved ones and others over me
• will get upset with me for not knowing their plans but won’t communicate them clearly when I ask and want to know his schedule
• makes excuses and pretends to cry when confronted instead of talking things through
• shuts down emotionally and shows very little affection or effort unless it benefits them
• acts like my feelings are too much or not valid when I try to communicate my hurt

There are times when I leave conversations feeling dismissed unimportant or like I’m an option rather than a priority. I care about them deeply but I’m struggling because I don’t feel emotionally supported or appreciated.

What would you do stay and hope it changes or leave and protect your peace? I’ve been in this relationship for two years out of hope because he keeps saying he’s going to change after I’ve left twice and always comes crying back when I leave and break up with him and swears he will change! I’ve given up lots of hope but any advice would be great on how to leave.

Updates

24 d

I have left the relationship and am now on to healing and finding my own peace for a while until I can find someone more suited and worth my time or I may just stay single I’m not sure! Lol.

[Summeroflove]

The answer…. Leave. You’re doing yourself a major favor and for that matter the other person obviously they aren’t happy with you anyways and they obviously don’t have the guts to end the relationship they are just riding it out at that point until they find better (in their minds at least)

Number one… in a healthy relationship at some point or another. It’s normal to have questions even insecurities. The difference? Communication both people can openly communicate with one another even if it’s hard conversations that either make the relationship stronger or in many cases decide it’s not meant to be long term or in a romantic capacity and cut their losses even if it’s difficult that’s part of wanting the best for one another.

Not only is it being undervalued it’s also a one sided relationship and he seems narcissistic I know I say that agour a lot of people and frankly… a lot of people are. But regardless of if he is or isn’t I don’t think it’s worth it. If you’re putting all the effort into the relationship and just getting nagging in return. It’s time to consider ending it.

[slatyb]

I would leave. You need to get the hell out. You aren't a priority.

[Rei13]

You’re really young and there are a lot of great guys out there. You’ll heal and find someone you’re better suited to. You did the right thing by leaving the relationship and focusing on healing. You got this. Just take it one day at a time

[Nikki1989]

You should leave. Men will rarely take any blame for their actions. They will almost always push some, if not all, the blame onto the woman.

Note the blue anon comment. See, more buck passing. It is just the way many are wired.

[Geminiaqua]

the anon was just a troll

[HawkPerception]

Obviously leave. I don't waste my time in relationships where my partner doesn't make me feel valued. That signals a very depressing future for me, and it would be entirely my fault for staying in it.

[Finchie40]

My ex sounds a lot like your boyfriend, dump him , best decision you will make for yourself , he doesn’t love you, he loves the convenience of you, you are not his priority ,

[AviatorTom]

It depends on how undervalued I think I am, how much I've put into the relationship, and if I thought I could do better on my own or in another relationship.

[Anonymous]

Ok so let’s be honest, what have you done to try to fix things? I ask because it sounds like 100% it’s his fault, which is never usually the case. I’m sure you’ve done some things or said some things to piss him off. If you’re 100% sure you did nothing wrong then you leave. But in most cases it’s always both people, not just one. Some of what you’re describing sounds like how a lot of men are. Which you can’t wrap your head around because you’re not a man. So are you sure you’re 100% innocent in all this? Never started an argument w him? Said things that you knew would hurt him? How old is he by the way? If he’s your age, you’re asking a boy to settle down when he hasn’t even lived half his life. He’s barely coming into his own as far as discovering things. This is why I always think younger women should date someone who’s older. Men who are older are a little more established, settled down. Not all, but a lot. Like I said if you know if your heart you did nothing wrong then you leave. But I’m going to ask rather then just say leave like everyone else did. It has to come down to ok what’s really the truth here. Because if he had a chance to answer I’m sure he’d say somethings as well about you that you may not agree w, but that’s how he feels. It’s always hard to take a look at yourself to see what others see that you don’t.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

I’d leave.

Staying somewhere you feel undervalued slowly turns you into a quieter version of yourself.

You start shrinking, overexplaining, hoping they’ll suddenly see what you’ve been giving all along.

But real connection isn’t built on convincing someone of your worth,
it’s built on someone recognizing it without being pushed.

Love should add to your life, not drain it.

If you have to beg for the bare minimum, that’s your answer.

[PenquinKing]

It's taken nearly 13 years of separation (court finalized) to start moving towards divorce/dissolution. issues by both, and she's been trying to fix me for so many years. We are both religious, but one is more law, the other more grace and mercy. Then, through it, she chose to help everyone else that she could fix and decided to only show up when convenient or if I had to have surgery. Then, when everything starts to come to a close, she decides she wants to be married, and why do I want a divorce? Humm. So did I yes would I again NO. Just want to be with someone who wants to be with me.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

All of those.. and you're still asking here? Such guy is a waste of time, beauty, and youth. 🥱🙄

[YourExLover69]

No I won't. I believe in mutual respect, mutual trust, mutual understanding, mutual feelings in a relationship to work. Otherwise it can't be stronger and it won't work.

[beenherebefore]

Leave. This is not supposed to be how you feel in a relaionship.

[Noredcarpet]

Great you left, it takes two to make it work and he had had plenty of time, opportunities to do so.

[Flower7]

I’m glad to read the update that you have left. I was about to say that as advice, but I see you’ve reached that conclusion on your own.

[DavyJ]

No; it’s why we separated after 35 years.

[loveyouoak]

I would leave.

[Anonymous]

Maybe bad boys will do better job to for it