Please help me understand what just went wrong?

Question

I’ve had a friend (we’ll call him Ralph) who for the longest time, everyone thought we would end up together. We were coworkers at one point and in the same friend group and in both settings, people just assumed we would end up together. My boss even pulled me aside a few times and said, “hey, are you and Ralph a thing yet?”

We started texting everyday for weeks straight. We texted about dreams, families, past relationships, spirituality, PR gym vids. And texts were paragraphs long always. Ralph had an internship in another state so I didn’t know if he’d actually want to start anything right when it would become long distance. But eventually, after a few weeks I said, “hey Ralph, I don’t need a label, but I do need to know where this is going and if this dynamic is more than friendship for u.” Ralph said, “nope just platonic.” We ended up not talking at all for 4 months.

A few months ago, we ran into each other in a group setting, started texting again….

But then it turned to everyday, all day again. Updates about his car. gym PR’s videos. Processing stressful days at work. Financial struggles. What we pray about. Small banters. We had a rhythm. And no matter how busy our days were, we were there for each other. But we never stated we were more than friends. I was too afraid to go there again, because last time it ended in us not speaking for 4 months.

But then 5 days ago, I was texting him while he was at work. Light hearted teasing, genuinely nothing. But the teasing ended with him snapping a little. He explained that he didn’t have time for banter. I apologized, and then…. its been crickets. For 5 days. Nothing. He never followed up after my apology. He didn’t ask for space, but I just thought giving him room would help his nervous system breathe. But now? I feel like I’m being ghosted.

What did I do to make someone treat me like this? Even if I’m just a friend to him, what did I do to make him push me away so suddenly like this?

melanieeeB · Accepted Answer

He told you that it's just platonic for him and realized you might like him more. At least that's my guess.
Stop texting with someone who made it clear that he doesn't want more.
He probably just liked the conversation and the emotional friendly connection but nothing more and no he won't change his mind after getting to know you more. Don't wait for him.

jazzy34 · Accepted Answer

Don’t take this the wrong way, but this guy sounds strange and unstable. If I were you, I’d just move on with my life. Real friends don’t treat you like that.

Staximus · Accepted Answer

The guy has no balls. He wants the companionship and emotional support of a relationship but he's not willing to jump in with both feet and give you the love. You're not his emotional support animal. He's not willing to be more than friends, nove on with your life.