Why do exes try and rub their new partners in your face?

[Anonymous]

I recently bumped into my ex after no contact for about a month. I was with a friend we both knew. She started talking to him and kind of alienated me from the convo, I just acted like it didn't bother me and tried to get involved with the convo. I make a comment on something our friend says and she blows it off and makes a comment about her new boyfriend going somewhere with her. I also acted like I wasn't bothered by that even though it was the same guy she left me for. Then my friend noticed she was being awkward so he ended the convo. Why did she ignore me even though I was nice and acted like I was unbothered by her being immature and alienating me? She couldn't even look at me. And why did she even mention her boyfriend? Just to get a reaction out of me?

[jen-82]

She mentioned her boyfriend because she was probably trying to make you jealous. It's pretty dumb and immature, but girls get like that sometimes. She probably feels like she should prove to you that she can be happy without you (or maybe she's trying to prove it to herself?). I'm not sure if you guys had a rough break up? ... but that might have something to do with it too. Maybe she felt hurt for whatever reason and it is easier for her to pretend you don't exist? - again pretty pathetic, but it happens.

[Asker]

Our break up wasn't horrible, I stated the reason in the above comments. But I do agree that she is trying to prove it to herself. She kind of idolized me before we started going out, and that was part of why I even asked her out. But then she dropped a huge commitment bomb on me after one week of dating, I guess I got scared because I knew how much she cared and wasn't sure I could live up to what she wanted already. By the time I realized I wanted to try it was over.

[Asker]

The commitment bomb was that she was going to be out of the country for 4 months in about 8 months. I guess she figured I wouldn't have stayed with her, but after we broke up I told her I would have tried. By then she had already had the new guy and was idolizing him just like she had done to me when we first met, except for this time he told her right away that he would make the commitment, though I have a hard time seeing how when they only knew each other for 3 weeks.

[BBGyrl]

Maybe she's not really over you and wants to make you jealous that she's in a new relationship. I guess it also depends on your break-up and how bad or good it ended. I don't think that she's completely over you because if she was then she wouldn't be acting so immature about the whole situation.

[Asker]

Thank you BB, I really appreciate your answer. I've been so confused about this it feels good to hear you say that. And especially since you are a girl and know how girls think. I mean it really makes sense to me now, I am kind of relieved to know the answer. Btw, the break up wasn't bad. I told her I respected her decision even though I thought we could work things out. We actually could have worked things out because the problems were very small misunderstandings that got blown up.

[Asker]

There were also some self esteem issues on her part... She told me that I deserve better than her, because I was a great person. Maybe she is realizing that I am actually a great person and that it was a mistake to break up with me just because of something little?

[BBGyrl]

You're welcome =]

Since the break up wasn't bad and if you do want to remain friends with her at the very least, then I think that you guys need to talk one to one and work things out so it isn't awkward if you do run into each other again.

[BBGyrl]

You answered again before I submitted.

That is a possiblitly that's why I think that it's important that you guy talk. There are something that seem like that need to be worked out. Explain to her that you just want you two to be on the same page with things and you want to have civil relationship with her if that's possible.

[Asker]

I'll try that strategy and see how it works out. Thanks again :).