I'm too ashamed to talk to my ex?

[Anonymous]

I feel so awful for the way I treated her after our break up back in June. We dated for three and half years and lived together for about 9 months. The last few months of our relationship wasn't so good, I mean we had lots of fight and mostly over the stupidest things due to both of us been so overwhelm with work and school and other things. She wanted to get together after that but I pretty much ignored the sh*t out of her and gave her cold shoulders all the time. I made her wait five months before I told her I wanted nothing to do with her anymore. She pretty much begged me to give the relationship one last chance but I said no. She cried her eyes out to me and practically poured her out to me but I still said no because I started talking to this other girl and she was telling me all the right stuff I wanted to hear. I quickly jump in a relationship with this new girl that I was talking too for about two months now just two weeks after I told my ex I had nothing else to give her. My ex still text me and still talk to me but I feel so awful inside and I don't know what to say to her cause I feel so bad for the way I treated her during that process. I still love her and now this is killing me inside and I don't know what to do, I feel so embarrass and ashamed to even talk to her.

[knowmeyourself]

I am glad that you know your shortcomings and the mistakes you have done. You certainly hurt her terribly and had no respect for her or ever considered her feelings. there is no point of telling you how wrong you were because you already know.

Honestly, I would not blame her if she didn't take you back or hung up the phone if you try to call her. If you really want her back then you need to do the following:

1- Know what you really want. Dig deep inside and ask yourself "Do I really want her or do I just miss the good times I had with her so why not get back with her?" If the answer is the former then go to step 2. If it's the latter, then don't bother because you will hurt her even more. She doesn't deserve all that pain.

2- Promise yourself to stop treating her like crap. Once you approch her and try to talk, be a gentleman. Respect her and care for her feelings.

3- Have a face to face conversation with her. Tell her exactly what you said in your question. Be very honest and show remorse for what you did. If she didn't accept meeting you, then write down a sincere letter and send it to her. Again be honest and show remorse.

I hope you learn from your mistakes and treat her better if you get back together. I believes she loves you. Don't take her for granted because it is rare to find people who love us and care for us in this world. Good luck :)

[Asker]

I never treated her like crap throughout the whole three and half years we were together..that was just this time cause I was so angry at her

[knowmeyourself]

I actually meant that i.e. after you broke up.

[Asker]

OK thank you very much but what if I told you I wrote this question in reverse method meaning this is what's happening to me right now and instead of me that did all that stuff..it was actually her who did this to me. so how would your point of view and your advice change now? or would have it stay the same?

[knowmeyourself]

It stays the same, yes. I'm sorry you had to go through that. You certainly deserve better. I am not sure she feels bad about it for real though and I don't blame you if you didn't take her back. I don't think she wants you back and it is for the best really. You are better off.

[Asker]

Yeah I know I deserve better and what she did was f***ed and karma is bitch sh*t will hit her harder and I really don't wish that on her though but ay its her lost really?

[knowmeyourself]

It is her loss. :) Move on.

[DermalPunch]

Oh, well we don't know if she feels ashamed. That's you projecting. She could just not want to see you at all.

[luv4all]

i cant' believe this girl is till trying to contact you, if I were her I'd leave with what ever pride I've got left. very rude and classless of you to treat another human like that. you surely are right to be ashamed of you yourself. I wouldn want to be with a man like your self,you've destroyed your character. I had a guy did the exact same thing to me, and when he was ready to reconcile and apologize I was no longer attracted to the person he turned out to be, a complete witch. I think heartless people are capable of treating other like that, sorry I have no compassion for you.

[Anonymous]

Well I'm sorry I've had this done to me so I don't have much sympathy for you. I think regardless of whether you want to get back with her or not - you should pull yourself up and face her and apologize. its the least you owe her. tell her straight you are ashamed and you know you handled it all bad. and be straight as to whether you still want to be with her or not. you owe her this. leaving her wait 5 months, I've had this done to me and its horrible. and very selfish of you. failing this I'm sorry but I have no advice or sympathy for you.

[Asker]

Read the comments I left on the post below please

[Opinion Owner]

dont ask the question if you're not willing to hear the answer

[Opinion Owner]

and what about the comment you left at the very bottom answer?

[Asker]

What? Omg nvm and you the one who's not listening. For the last time I wrote the question in reverve method and I'm the one who's actually going through this.

[dejugirl]

Tell her straightaway what you really feel inside. A good woman would be open enough with issues like that. Don't treat her a like an option that freakin hurts if I was your girl. I hate to say this but it's not manly for you to treat her like that. I feel sorry for her but you can still make up for things that have happened. Tell her the status of your feelings towards her and that you want to do the rightful things etc.

[Asker]

thank you much..I will do my very best..but every time she text me I would sometime not response to her because I just don't know if I have it in me to talk to her again. Like in a good way I mean

[Anonymous]

dont talk to her then