I don't want to hurt someone but don't want to get hurt either... HELP...
How to be immune to heart break?
I don't want to hurt someone but don't want to get hurt either... HELP...
I think the problem is social pressure, we are socially taught to express and live love the way our culture does and not the way we, as individuals, want or feel right. This leads us into creating expectation of how a relationship should be like, and filling your heart with expectations can only lead to disappointment whenever they're not met.
Understanding and learning that love can be abstracted to something beyond attachment and beyond whatever your culture and values dictate changes that, your heart will transform from a box that hopes to be filled up to something that expands the more it loves, people will the fit inside because of what they do and their size will grow and shrink, but they won't be able to break it again into pieces, as you will always be your own property, with your own bag of feelings and experiences.
It's not an easy task, as you have to fight against everything you were taught about love, but we have to accept somehow that we are all different people, even if we live in the same city or under the same roof, so love and relationships should be experienced as they grow IMHO, outside our cultural and "normal" box, and that will set your heart free.
Listen to this song.
Then look at this picture.
link
Become that person, and you'll succeed.
I'm sorry to say it, but getting hurt is a part of relationships. It's impossible to promise any person, including yourself, that you won't get hurt because things will happen that are outside your control. And to try to be immune to such an occurrence would likely block your ability to love.
This is probably just the 'starry-eyed dreamer' part of me talking, but my best advice is to have faith that you will be happy in the end. If a relationship doesn't work out, it's okay to be sad about it, but at the same time tell yourself that it wasn't meant to be and you'll meet someone who is even better for you than that person. When my first love dumped me, I was depressed for three months afterward. But after that passed, I was able to see how much we wouldn't have worked out anyways.
Just hang in there. :) Love is worth it.
That's all a part of finding love. It's the heartaches we experience that teaches us about what it is we truly want/desire in love. Relationship are a risk, period. There's no way around that. The best thing you can do to minimize the chance of your heart being broken (again) is by making different choices from what you did last time,. Be more selective of who you date, and more importantly of all think logically rather than emotionally about the relationship you may get in in the near future. Learn from your past relationships and grow from them.
if you're going to have relationships in general there's a risk you'll get your heartbroken. the only way to not have this risk would be to alienate yourself from such relationships. sometimes we need to do this after a particularly bad breakup but it would be sad to live that way for an extended period of time. my only advice to you would be to give yourself enough time to heal before getting involved with anyone emotionally again. and don't give your heart away to every girl who comes around...good luck!
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just think that you never really liked them in the first place then the heart ache wouldn't hurt as much, and think that there is someone better out there for you and your friends will help take over the time you use to spend with that significant other.
You can't, unless you go totally stoic.
Become a monk
don't love too much
Theres is no way
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