Does No Contact really work with a ex or will they forget you?

[Anonymous]

I split with my ex of 2 1/2 years 2 months ago. I haven't gone more than 3 days without talking to him. I usually initiate it but he always answers right back or if I call he answers. I'm not a crazy ex that constantly messages him and calls multiple times but we Haven't even went a week without talking since the split. I know he still has feelings for me even he has said he hasn't moved on but I feel like he "knows" he can have me when he wants and the chase isn't there so I get taken for granted. My only problem is he's getting closer and closer with another girl.

I don't want the answer of I need to move on because yeah you can say that about any break up situation. What I'm wondering is about no contact.

In your expirence of others has NC it ever worked? If so after how long of NC?

Guys how does this make you feel? Would you miss your ex more if she stopped contact or forget her?

Do you think I should have COMPLETE no contact like nothinggg or stop contacting my ex as much as I do (like not hanging out, no sex, only a few texts here and there to let them know your still there)?

And do you think No Contact makes it easy for a ex to move on and forget about you or make them miss you?

[thedudejones47]

I'm actualy in a very similar boat, only I'm a guy trying to win back my girl. We also dated for about 2 1/2 years, first and only girlfriend, only girl I've said I love you too, had sex with, all that jazz, so she's very special to me. We decided to go to college together, but we ended up ending things and she started dating some guy she met a party the next day. Broke my f***ing heart even though I let her go. Currently I'm trying to avoid her as I believe no contact is best for both of us, but I still see her around campus with her new boyfriend. She's said she still cares about me, part of her still wants to be together, but she can't because she's in this new relationship, and she's afraid I'll hurt her again. For a while she'd text me, saying she still wanted to be close friends, but I told her I couldn't, that it hurt too much seeing her with someone else. Why should she be able to date this guy and keep me around to confide in? I told her she can't have her cake and eat it too, and left. Haven't spoken to her since, letting that stew in her mind for a while. Hopefully she'll see this guy for the arrogant prick he is one day and come back. Bottomline here, no contact is the best option. It really is. Seeing him, talking to him will only bring up all those old feelings and cause you more pain. Give him and yourself some time. If its meant to be, you'll get back together someday. I know its an age old cliche, I hate it too, but its true.

[Pinay_ako]

Amen. Keeping contact with an ex especially if it's a hard and recent break up is not a very good idea. feelings are raw and you will only end up arguing unless both of you want to give it another chance. even if you stay friends, is not very good either. you cannot be just friends with someone you fell in love with. it may be hard to forget someone who has seen your soul and gave you memories but you will forget the feelings later on... keep off their page, cut them off, go AWOL and just live YOUR LIFE without them. they left, their loss.

[StewieG]

It's like a drug addiction. You probably need to quit contacting each other for a while to get your feelings sorted out. If you keep talking you can't see clearly what your next step in life in. It sounds as though neither of you really knows whether you want to break up or not.

No one completely forgets about someone that they've dated for 2-1/2 years, but the feelings do fade over time. But continually talking to each other is going to make moving on very hard for both of you.

It's OK to remain friends if that's what you want, but limit your talking to maybe once a month.

[Asker]

what if your hopes are to get back together and not move on (or at least try it) would you still reccomend no contact and giving each other space? I'm thinking what's a good amount of time to give each other enough space to think should we give this another try but not too long that all feelings are gone and he's moved on?

[StewieG]

I'm not really clear whether this was a mutual breakup or which one of you did the breaking up. I read some of the other answers here and Jesseria88 has some good advice.

There must be some reason why you 2 split up so it sounds like you do need to take some time and figure out if you're just going through withdrawal from him or you really want to try to work it out.

[Asker]

It was a mutual split to begin with we didn't have hard feelings twoards each other and I wanted to let him go so he wouldn't be stressed and could figure things out with his depression and his main focus start saving money. But after about a month he started to get really distant and seemed to be doing a lot better and talking to other girls going out with friends that kinda thing, I wanted to get back together but he says he's not looking for a relationship and wants to sincerly be my friend.

[Anonymous]

Take it from me - exes NEVER forget you. Unless you have Alzheimer's or some other disease that wipes your memory slate clean, it's impossible to forget anyone that you've dated. However, this doesn't guarantee that exes will want you back. Some exes message you from time to time, some will want to be friends, some won't talk to you again, and others will come back. Whether or not they come back depends on their inherent feelings for you as a person, which isn't something you can control.

In your case, I think your ex obviously likes you as a friend at least if he's willing to talk to you. However, if you think you two have no chance of getting back together and he's just stringing you along/taking you for granted, you might want to try the no contact thing. Otherwise, you'll just get led on only to be disappointed when nothing comes of it.

[Jesseria88]

I think you need at least a good month of no talking, if not 2 or more, to get back to yourself! Also, if you really want to win him back, then you still need no contact. If he misses you, he'll contact you, but if he doesn't contact you, then it really is time to let the detox begin. Even if you want to be friends, I think you need at least a 6 month hiatus so that you can be your own priority and meet some new people to get excited about. You need to do new things that will make you happy and stronger so that if he doesn't come back, you are ready to move on confidently and poised. I recommend a yoga or pottery class, maybe salsa lessons, or painting. Something active to keep you busy and make you feel good and give you a new skill to be proud of!

[Asker]

Thank you! So I've heard two senerios when it comes to this the first is to cut all communication making the ex wonder about you and miss you and second guess things or remain friends and show how mature you are and when they are ready ora rebound doesn't work you look like the stronger mature one that really loves them. Which one do you think sounds more reasonable?

[Jesseria88]

I truly believe that you need to take the space. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. He needs to feel the loss. If you are always around and he knows he can have you, then he doesn't feel like he's missing out. make him miss you by showing him that you are prepared to move on with your life. dealing with emotions is more mature than pretending they don't exist and that everything between you two is cool, when really how could it be. 2 months is so short. the latter only works after time apart

[louloukate]

Hi I'm was with my boyfriend 7 years and he felt me for his ex girlfriend do u think he will ever forget about me I want him back and I keep messaging him and I keep going do u think should stop going I'm still friends with all his family as they all said it's not my fault as it was just down to him he keeps saying he doesn't love me but only when he's with her thanks

[Pinay_ako]

I don't forget people especially exes. I remember the boy, but I don't remember the feeling anymore. After a break up except my last one, I cut them all off. I dumped them. But the last one dumped me. He kept in contact but I realized he only needed to hear from me to get an ego stroke or to string me along to help him move on from me. But he will never ever want me back. He kept rubbing it in my face how he wanted to be just friends and I am not having any of it. I cut him off for good after he told me he didn't really need me. And he didn't care if I stayed or go. So I took the high road and never ever looked back.

[killbenlanier]

It's always worked for me. I don't communicate with any of them whatsoever. You'll start thinking less and less about them. They'll do the same. After awhile, they become people you don't find likeable at all.

[Bunny212]

It works because you think less of them and eventually you don't care for them as much as you did. It is hard at first but if you do it for a week or two you start feeling better

[Anonymous]

I feel once the relationship is over its over. I don't contact them. I don't hang out with them. I don't have sex with them.

[imfierceyessir]

Totally work in my case!