Was ex-boyfriend hurt or is he relieved to get rid of me?

[trulymadly]

I exploded in anger at my ex-boyfriend for not telling me that he didn't want to meet up. He just kept making excuses and when I called him out on it by calling him a flake, he seemed angry/hurt. (He always wants to be the nice guy.) I got angry because he knows that I still liked him as more than a friend and he led me on by not turning me away. He seemed to want to meet up and then would change his mind. I said some regretful things, but I apologized profusely afterwards. After I told him "not to worry about meeting up", he tried to act all friendly because he felt guilty and was trying to make himself feel better. All I wanted was the truth, which I now have.

Anyway, I realized then that I was not over him because I keep contacting him. So I did something drastic. I deleted all our pictures together and untagged him from all of my pictures on facebook and unfriended him. I sent a message, however, telling him that I felt horrible for being bitchy earlier, and that I was facebook deleting him for my own purposes so that I'd stop annoying him. But, he didn't reply.

I feel the slightest bit better everyday and can see increasingly why I don't want to be with him, why I broke up with him in the first place.

He always said he wanted to be friends. Maybe sometime in the near future. I just need time and not talk to him to get over him. Do you think he'll still want to be friends by then? I'm good friend with my other ex and it'd be pity for him to go to waste. But then, why didn't he reply to my message? Do you think he was hurt or relieved to get rid of me?

Our mutual friends say that he will probably laugh it off but I'm not so sure... I hope so!

[Hot-Alpha-Female]

Hi girl,

Im very impressed that you found the strength to not contact him anymore. Its a lot easier to move one, once your ex boyfriend isn't the centre of your life anymore.

In regards to the friends thing, well maybe you guys can be friends in the future. But don't let the hope of being friends in the future be some delusion that maybe you can somehow reconnect with him.

As a general rule, say that you can be friends with him, once you have found a new boyfriend. That way when you have another boyfriend and still want to be friends with him .. then you can know that you don't like him like "that" anymore. Most of the time though, by the time you are in a new relationship .. you won't want to have anything to do with him.

N that's fine, some people come into our lives and leave shortly afterwards. Its the ones that want to stay, that we should give our attention to

All the best

Hot Alpha Female

[Ashleigh]

Yea I'm sure he'll want to be your friend if that's what he wants. I've done the same thing you're doing, I've deleted my ex from myspace and facebook for my own good, we kept arguing a lot and I figured it was definitely from me being bitter, so I did what was best for me and gave myself time and space away from him. Ive been through so much with my ex that I'm surprised we still know each other, I figured after every argument we had he wouldn't want to know me more. But in the end I could say I hate him and he'd still want to be friends. I guess it depends on how close you both were.

[Lesae]

You can't be friends right now. He will want to be in the future. You need time and space now. I did the same thing to. I burned all of his stuff in the fireplace. I don't feel bad at all for doing it. Good riddance. But, if you want to be friends then in time you will be. I don't think he was happy to get rid of you. He is just as sad as you are.

[That-Guy]

What do you do when you have a drug problem? You wash your hands clean and stay away from it. Which you have done and should continue to do until you're ready face the drug w/o the temptations on using it again.

If he doesn't want to be friends in the future? Oh well, that's how break ups go. It took over 1.5 years for my ex and I to become friends again. For some of my ex's, we knew friendship just isn't going to work out.

To answer your question: you seem to be on the bad end of the bargain so he is probably more relieved. He feels bad and wants to be "friends" and there for you but of course, this upsets you (as you are still hurt). You are lashing out but you really should just stay away to clear your head, go through the emotional repair, and be live a crazy free life again.

good luck.

[trulymadly]

He is so good at masking his emotions, I'm not sure what he thinks. Anyway, I accept that we are over. Completely. Not sure when it happened, but I realized that he probably didn't want to get back together after I broke up with him. Twice.

[trulymadly]

Am meeting up with ex in a few days.I asked if he wanted to (that I'd buy him an ice cream, which makes me feel better) because I felt so bad for lashing out, unless he didn't want to. He said "haha. that's cute. sure". so hopefully we can be friends.

[kingbrother]

He sounds like he's happy to just be your friend.