Is my ex being friendly or flirty?

[Anonymous]

Backstory, we were together for 3 years and engaged, We have a 14 month old daughter together and in the past after we broke up, we didn't have such a great relationship. For the past couple months we have been getting along pretty well. We Skype everyday and at first it was civil like talking about our daughter. Lately it seems its more flirty on his end. Has a girlfriend now, they started dating while I was pregnant. But anyway, while we Skype he is in his car and not in his house like its a secret were talking. The other day he mentioned how going to Disneyland would be a great trip for me, him, and our daughter to take. Then while we were skyping I stood up to get my daughter and he said "we'll that's a good view of you" referring to my butt. Then he brings up stuff about when him and I were together. I'm so confused and don't want to say anything since we're in such a good place but its brought a lot of feelings back and it's hurting me

[destiny14]

He's comfortable with you but because you two have been together there is a blur between him being friendly and him being flirty. Think about how he was flirty during your relationship and if it seems like what he is doing now there is your answer. But most importantly if you are feeling hurt you really need to establish some boundaries with him since he has a girlfriend.

[Asker]

It is like when we were dating. On new years, he called me drunk and left a voice mail telling me he loved me and our daughter. then he came to visit for her birthday and I was laying on the bed putting our daughter to sleep and he sat on the other side of her and then held my hand. I don't know what to do or how to bring it up. I'm not great with confrontation

[destiny14]

You have to work into it then! :] Remind yourself that the longer you wait the more you feel confused, your daughter might get confused (if she's old enough to notice these things), & kind of psych yourself into asking. You can start off with "I'm confused. (Aren't you seeing someone?) What are we doing?" And if you do still love him & you want to give it another try you may want to mention that, too. The longer you wait the more paranoid/confused you may get/feel. In the end you'll be relieved

[Anonymous]

It seems like he's just being friendly. He really likes spending time with you and his daughter.

[Asker]

thats what I thought at first, but on new years, he called me drunk and left a voice mail telling me he loved me and our daughter. then he came to visit for her birthday and I was laying on the bed putting our daughter to sleep and he sat on the other side of her and then held my hand

[Amazo]

Do you want him back or you want him to stop?

[Asker]

i'd be lying if I said I didn't want him back, but if he doesn't want the same thing I want him to stop. I just don't know what to think because o-n new years, he called me drunk and left a voice mail telling me he loved me and our daughter. then he came to visit for her birthday and I was laying on the bed putting our daughter to sleep and he sat on the other side of her and then held my hand

[Amazo]

In that respect, you may need to see if he is indeed flirty. Based on what you said it could be either, but based on your response to my answer, it seems to sway more towards flirty. If you sense a flirtatious remark, flirt back, and go as far you can until you think it has him hot, then slowly tell him how you enjoyed old times and how you want him back. But obviously you need to ask him at that point how he feels. If he doesn't feel the same I'm sure he would stop.

[Asker]

I'm gonna try that, we're skyping tonight. when him and his girlfriend started dating I wasn't exactly nice about how I thought about it. We'd fight a lot because me and his girlfriend didn't get along and he'd always blame me for it. Except this last time, she was writing stuff about me on FB and I told him and they got into it pretty bad. I'm just afraid that when I bring this up to him he's gonna get into a fight with me about it.